Tales from the retail world...

[JEDIYoda]

Originally posted by: DingDingDao
<blockquote>quote:
Originally posted by: virtueixi
Manager made me walk this crackhead out of the pharmacy, I had to touch her arm and everything. She could barely walk straight. I was 17 at the time, now I would have told him to f off. I was only getting paid $6 an hour.</blockquote>

Uh, exactly what kind of disease do you think you'd get from touching someone's arm?

DingDingDao desease???

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: Paladin3
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.

i would have broke a window and when the cops got and asked what was up i would tell them i was locked in and being help prisoner by KMart.

No, I don't think you would.

you dont know me very well. nobody locks me in a building especially my employer.

So you'd intentionally get locked in so that you could break a window? Give me a fucking break.

 

[kranky]

Time for more stories.

 

[larry89]

Customer leaves my father's store, hits face into glass door and breaks glasses above eye, claims door was locked at 12:35PM in a Sandwich cafe, threatans to sue my father. (Its a glass door with the bars that you push to open, even if you push the glass the door opens).

failure

By the way, could you even sue if you ran into a locked door?

 

[Ticks]

I worked at Sam Goody for five years during college (best job ever but made hardly any money and spent it all on cd's anyway). One day a woman came in and bought a Beyonce CD. I ring her up and she opens her wallet and has probably 25 or so Traveler's Checks, all in $100 denominations. She hands me one and it looked pretty legit other than where the hologram/watermark was supposed to be it was just a large blank white spot. So I tell her, that we cannot accept it because its missing the hologram. She says OK..pays cash and walks over to the shoe store. I call Mall Security and let them know I think a woman is using fake travelers checks. Turns out there are a trio of ATF agents eating at Panera Bread. They stop the lady as she is trying to leave the mall and bust her with tons of fake traveler's checks. It ended badly for her.

Another time, a man came, bought a CD and his total was like 15.02 or something. He gives me a 20 and as I open the till he states that he has the change. He proceeds to drop a handful of change over the counter onto the floor just as I open the till.(common mall scam where as I bend down to grab the change he goes for the cash in the open till) I look him square in the eye and say "What the hell are you doing? I'm not picking that up. I close the till and slam his change down on the counter. He takes off leaving me with his $20. I didnt keep it, just put it in the till.

 

[Exterous]

Come on guys - I left my semi-retail job. I need my stupid customer fix!

 

[AreaCode707]

Not retail but one of my corporate type folks recently decided to downgrade their office (remote from corporate) to dial-up as a cost saving measure... Did I mention we work in a top ten tech company?

 

[ProfJohn]

I always like the people who ask you a question and then when you give them an answer they don't want to hear respond with "Are you sure?"

I always wanted to say "No!! I'm just messing with you!"

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Not really retail but I work at a waterpark.

We ask you if you know how to swim for a reason. Don't lie to us and say you know how to swim just to hop on and hope the lifeguard will save you.

I know you happen to be really excited after waiting in line for a ride for half an hour, but the extra 10 seconds of wait for me to make sure your not going to hit someone and break a leg or arm is not that long...

No, no one has died here but if you ask me that one more time you might get the chance to change that.

Im sorry I cut in line to get food but I have a 30 minute break and you have 10 hours to play in the park so dont try to give me that bitch face and make some smart ass remark.

I tell you to take off your T-shirt for your own good so you dont get stuck. Stop looking at me like Im a perv trying to stare at you... unless your hot, then I am trying.

When we tell you to not jump out of the ride, its so you dont smash your face into the wall, but since you did it anyway, I'll take my sweet time before I help you.

If your older than 10 and your scared to go on a slide, just quit your life now.

 

[ViviTheMage]

good stuff bump

 

[xanis]

I'm going to use the same format as AznAnarchy99. I'm a supervisor at a children's amusement park.

- No, you can't have a discount on item X or pay a different price for it. It's not my fault you didn't read the damn tag.

- When your credit card comes up declined, don't blame me. It's your own damn fault for not taking care with your finances.

- Stop asking me how much item X is with a discount. I'm not your personal calculator.

- No, you can't have that one item for the same price as the others. There's a clear disclaimer stating "All X $19.99 EXCEPT X". Go away.

- Stop bitching about the line. I have as many employees on register as I can. Calm yourself down and wait 5 minutes. You won't die.

- Stop using your kids to get what YOU want. Nothing is more pathetic or irritating.

- When you come and put your own lock on one of our lockers, you shouldn't be shocked when you come back and it's cut off. What's that? You say you didn't know you had to pay for them? Bull-fucking-shit.

 

[jjwylie]

true story from my days as a manager: http://www.jjwylie.com/costcocondom.html

 

[mekon]

My favourite moment was when a middle-aged woman asked me for some assistance picking out a birthday card for her son.

I was in for a spot of dark humour and pointed out a card which read "With Deepest Sympathy" - she didn't like that at all.

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: jjwylie
true story from my days as a manager: http://www.jjwylie.com/costcocondom.html

Hmmmm. I dont approve of you pimping your website on your very first post.

However, the manner in which you did it is awesome.
A+

 

[NoCreativity]

Originally posted by: Xanis
I'm going to use the same format as AznAnarchy99. I'm a supervisor at a children's amusement park.

- No, you can't have a discount on item X or pay a different price for it. It's not my fault you didn't read the damn tag.

- When your credit card comes up declined, don't blame me. It's your own damn fault for not taking care with your finances.

- Stop asking me how much item X is with a discount. I'm not your personal calculator.
- No, you can't have that one item for the same price as the others. There's a clear disclaimer stating "All X $19.99 EXCEPT X". Go away.

- Stop bitching about the line. I have as many employees on register as I can. Calm yourself down and wait 5 minutes. You won't die.

- Stop using your kids to get what YOU want. Nothing is more pathetic or irritating.

- When you come and put your own lock on one of our lockers, you shouldn't be shocked when you come back and it's cut off. What's that? You say you didn't know you had to pay for them? Bull-fucking-shit.

My wife gets this all the time. How is it that people cannot figure out what 10% off is?

 

[Beev]

When I worked at EB, if people asked me that I responded with "10% less."

 

[Kalmah]

Ok, I'll bite again.

Last days of Circuit City.. price tags read like this:

--------------------------
Old price: $100.00
Percent discount: 15%
You Pay: $85.00
--------------------------

The tags where the size of a standard envelope, where bright red and yellow and taped to everything. In many cases, the tag itself was larger than the box, you had to lift up the tag to even see what the item was.

Without exageration, I literally had at least 3 people waiting on me simultaniously at all times to ask me what the price of something was.

Example:
customer walks up with box- "What price is this?"
I look at the tag that is TAPED TO THE FUCKING BOX- "It's the price on the tag right here" (pointing at the tag)

Customer: "oh"


Yeah, "oh". You are retarded. How did you manage to even drive yourself to the store?

 

[Wonderful Pork]

Originally posted by: Kalmah
Ok, I'll bite again.

Last days of Circuit City.. price tags read like this:

--------------------------
Old price: $100.00
Percent discount: 15%
You Pay: $75.00
--------------------------

If I saw 15% off but the price was actually 25% off, I'd be confused too...

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: Kalmah
--------------------------
Old price: $100.00
Percent discount: 15%
You Pay: $75.00
--------------------------

 

[Kalmah]

Originally posted by: MotF Bane

Originally posted by: Kalmah
--------------------------
Old price: $100.00
Percent discount: 15%
You Pay: $75.00
--------------------------

Damnit! Don't make fun of me! I are have hangover right now. I'll fix that. heheh

 

[WA261]

Our phone # is 1 digit off from a local Walmart. We dick with people all of the. The thing I love to do most is when people ask if a certain item is in and the cost..I tell them yes, no matter what it is (usually some DVD or something similar)and give them some ridiculous low price and tell them I will hold it form them. Cracks me up. Yes, it's mean...oh well =P

 

[gar3555]

bump for more stories...I've never worked retail, but after killing a week of lunches reading this, some more stories wouldn't hurt.

 

[Sumguy]

Not mine, but a friend who works in Toys R Us.



- "Do I need a Wii to play this?" *hold up Wii game*

- "Is this game any good?" (just released that same day)

- "If my son wants to play with friends do I need more than one controller?"

- Several customers cutting open and stuffing big teddy bears with games/electronics. One asked for a discount because it had a huge gash in the back.

- Guy pays with monopoly money. Complains when my friend says "no, get the fuck out...haha, seriously?" Manager comes over. Says the same thing.

- Woman booking it past the cashiers, out the door, and to her car with a cart full of toys. Cop saw the whole thing, casually walks over. She gets owned.

- Fights breaking out around Christmas. Not minor fights, like a crowd of people.

 

[xanis]

Another one, since the thread was bumped earlier this morning:

As I've mentioned before, I work at an amusement park as a supervisor. The other day we had 10,000 people come to the park (capacity is 15K, so it was fairly busy), so we sold out of strollers. One of my employees comes up to me and says, "This lady outside is yelling at me because we don't have any more strollers. She wants to talk to to." I go outside to talk to the lady, and the conversation goes a little like this:

Me: "Can I help you ma'am?"

Lady: "Yes, you guys ran out of strollers?"

Me: "That's correct."

Lady: "This is ridiculous! It's 1pm and you guys are out of strollers ALREADY?!"

Me: "Unfortunately, yes. I'm sorry."

Lady: "Well since you're out of strollers I want one of those electric carts, but I'm not paying $45 for it. I want it for the stroller price ($20).

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm not allowed to do that."

Lady: "Ugh, this is ridiculous, I want to speak to your manager! Go get someone else!"

I go and get the department mangager. She comes out and tells the lady the exact same thing that I told her. The lady stormed off... but still came back later to buy a stroller when we had some. :laugh:

 

[keird]

Xanis,

Can't you bring your own stroller? I'm assuming that these strollers are for kids. Aren't they?