Tech support nightmare tales

[Erik LaRuffa]

Greetings if U have any fascinating or funny tales about end users, tech support helpdesk tales etc, please post them at my blog

"Tales form the edge"

www.pctechnerds.net

 

[spanky]

i had a call once wherer the lady told me her external cdrom didn't work. to make a long story short, she had to plug in the parallel and power cables.

 

[I Saw OJ]

I had a call the other night of a lady who said she lost her excel file. I VNCed into her computer and she was on row 50,000 or something like that. Turns out she fell asleep on her keyboard pressing the enter key....

 

[akshatp]

Asked a user to turn off her PC because she couldnt log on due to not having a valid IP. Asked her to power it back on and to let me know when the "CTRL ALT DEL" screen comes up. Three seconds later she says "OK its there"

Me: Ma'am did you power off your PC?
Dumb Woman: Yes
Me: The big black thing on the floor?
Dumb Woman: No the big black thing sitting on my desk. My Computer!
Me: That isnt your computer, thats your monitor.
Dumb Woman: Well thats all I have I dont have anything else, this is my only computer! Should I try it again?
Me: Look under your desk see that big black box with the green light in the front?
Dumb Woman: Yes, what is that?
Me: Go Kill yourself.

OK i didnt say the last line, but you get the point...

 

[DefDC]

Originally posted by: akshatp
Asked a user to turn off her PC because she couldnt log on due to not having a valid IP. Asked her to power it back on and to let me know when the "CTRL ALT DEL" screen comes up. Three seconds later she says "OK its there"

Me: Ma'am did you power off your PC?
Dumb Woman: Yes
Me: The big black thing on the floor?
Dumb Woman: No the big black thing sitting on my desk. My Computer!
Me: That isnt your computer, thats your monitor.
Dumb Woman: Well thats all I have I dont have anything else, this is my only computer! Should I try it again?
Me: Look under your desk see that big black box with the green light in the front?
Dumb Woman: Yes, what is that?
Me: Go Kill yourself.

OK i didnt say the last line, but you get the point...

Hehehe... I used to get a bunch of people like that at my old job. My 'Holy-Crap-I-Can't-Believe-This-Just-Happened" moment occured while I was in college, working at a computer lab for beer money.

Just minutes before the lab was going to close an attractive early-30ish, woman in a business suit w/briefcase shows up and asks "Do you have anything that can make a calendar?" This was in 1997, so there wasn't anything that could quickly pump out a calendar on a moments notice, at least not in our lab....

So I say,"Hmmm, no, but you could use a paint program to make boxes and put numbers inside." I was already aggrivated, because even if she knew was she was doing, it was going to take a while...

She says, "Ok, let's try that..." So I walk her over to a mac, and say "Ok, click on PaintX" She says,"Huh?"
Me: Click on this icon
Her: Huh? (She hasn't touched the mouse at this point)
Me: Click on here. (I take the mouse and click on the paint prog)
Her: What did you just do?
Me: (with a raised eyebrow) Uh, click on "File".
Her: Click?
Me: *choke* Yeah, take the mouse and click on "File".
(I swear this is true She picks up the mouse and is waving it in the air. She has no idea how to use it.)
Me: Hmmm, I think they have a program over in the 24hr lab across campus that makes calendars.
Her: Oh, great! I'll go over there!

I can always forgive ignorance. But HOLY COW! Someone that young has to have at least SEEN a computer used!

 

[E equals MC2]

Originally posted by: DefDC

Originally posted by: akshatp
Asked a user to turn off her PC because she couldnt log on due to not having a valid IP. Asked her to power it back on and to let me know when the "CTRL ALT DEL" screen comes up. Three seconds later she says "OK its there"

Me: Ma'am did you power off your PC?
Dumb Woman: Yes
Me: The big black thing on the floor?
Dumb Woman: No the big black thing sitting on my desk. My Computer!
Me: That isnt your computer, thats your monitor.
Dumb Woman: Well thats all I have I dont have anything else, this is my only computer! Should I try it again?
Me: Look under your desk see that big black box with the green light in the front?
Dumb Woman: Yes, what is that?
Me: Go Kill yourself.

OK i didnt say the last line, but you get the point...

Hehehe... I used to get a bunch of people like that at my old job. My 'Holy-Crap-I-Can't-Believe-This-Just-Happened" moment occured while I was in college, working at a computer lab for beer money.

Just minutes before the lab was going to close an attractive early-30ish, woman in a business suit w/briefcase shows up and asks "Do you have anything that can make a calendar?" This was in 1997, so there wasn't anything that could quickly pump out a calendar on a moments notice, at least not in our lab....

So I say,"Hmmm, no, but you could use a paint program to make boxes and put numbers inside." I was already aggrivated, because even if she knew was she was doing, it was going to take a while...

She says, "Ok, let's try that..." So I walk her over to a mac, and say "Ok, click on PaintX" She says,"Huh?"
Me: Click on this icon
Her: Huh? (She hasn't touched the mouse at this point)
Me: Click on here. (I take the mouse and click on the paint prog)
Her: What did you just do?
Me: (with a raised eyebrow) Uh, click on "File".
Her: Click?
Me: *choke* Yeah, take the mouse and click on "File".
(I swear this is true She picks up the mouse and is waving it in the air. She has no idea how to use it.)
Me: Hmmm, I think they have a program over in the 24hr lab across campus that makes calendars.
Her: Oh, great! I'll go over there!

I can always forgive ignorance. But HOLY COW! Someone that young has to have at least SEEN a computer used!

This one beats all the past/present/future stories. omg.

 

[DefDC]

anyone else?

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: DefDC

Originally posted by: akshatp
Asked a user to turn off her PC because she couldnt log on due to not having a valid IP. Asked her to power it back on and to let me know when the "CTRL ALT DEL" screen comes up. Three seconds later she says "OK its there"

Me: Ma'am did you power off your PC?
Dumb Woman: Yes
Me: The big black thing on the floor?
Dumb Woman: No the big black thing sitting on my desk. My Computer!
Me: That isnt your computer, thats your monitor.
Dumb Woman: Well thats all I have I dont have anything else, this is my only computer! Should I try it again?
Me: Look under your desk see that big black box with the green light in the front?
Dumb Woman: Yes, what is that?
Me: Go Kill yourself.

OK i didnt say the last line, but you get the point...

Hehehe... I used to get a bunch of people like that at my old job. My 'Holy-Crap-I-Can't-Believe-This-Just-Happened" moment occured while I was in college, working at a computer lab for beer money.

Just minutes before the lab was going to close an attractive early-30ish, woman in a business suit w/briefcase shows up and asks "Do you have anything that can make a calendar?" This was in 1997, so there wasn't anything that could quickly pump out a calendar on a moments notice, at least not in our lab....

So I say,"Hmmm, no, but you could use a paint program to make boxes and put numbers inside." I was already aggrivated, because even if she knew was she was doing, it was going to take a while...

She says, "Ok, let's try that..." So I walk her over to a mac, and say "Ok, click on PaintX" She says,"Huh?"
Me: Click on this icon
Her: Huh? (She hasn't touched the mouse at this point)
Me: Click on here. (I take the mouse and click on the paint prog)
Her: What did you just do?
Me: (with a raised eyebrow) Uh, click on "File".
Her: Click?
Me: *choke* Yeah, take the mouse and click on "File".
(I swear this is true She picks up the mouse and is waving it in the air. She has no idea how to use it.)
Me: Hmmm, I think they have a program over in the 24hr lab across campus that makes calendars.
Her: Oh, great! I'll go over there!

I can always forgive ignorance. But HOLY COW! Someone that young has to have at least SEEN a computer used!

You could have done it for her for....uh.....compensation....

 

[Spydermag68]

Me: Hello.
Woman: Yes I am having a problem with my coffee cup holder.
Me: What?
Woman: My coffee cup holder.
Me: Your...coffee cup...holder?
Woman: Yes.
Me: This is computer support line.
Woman: Yes I know. And my coffee cup holder with not come out of the computer.
Me: Computers do not come with a coffee cup holders.
Woman: This one did.
Me: No...That was your CD-Rom drive.


(CD-Rom drives were $300+ back then)

 

[Eltano1]

What about instructing user to click on a icon in her desktop with the mouse, then the user grabs the mouse from the mouse pad and it moves accros the surface of the monitor trying to click on the icon?

Eltano

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

I got asked where the power button is last week.

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf
I got asked where the power button is last week.

Hey, at least they asked instead of trying to figure it out on their own. They can always find ways to fvck things up. :laugh:

 

[Busie23]

I had someone who kept trying to get some data off a cd for a few hours. They must have gone to 15 different pcs with no luck, and couldn't figure out why it worked for another employee earlier in the day. The cd was a DVD, and only a few computers have dvd roms.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged

Originally posted by: SarcasticDwarf
I got asked where the power button is last week.

Hey, at least they asked instead of trying to figure it out on their own. They can always find ways to fvck things up. :laugh:

True, but still.......

 

[AntisociaL]

Not really a "Tech support nightmare tale" but it was amusing.
I built a pc for a friend a few years ago, it was his first pc. The next day he left me a message saying that it was not powering up so I head over to his house. I walk over to the pc open the front door on the Antec case and power it on.

He did not know there was a door on the front and thought the power switch to turn it on was the one on the power supply. Maybe I should of told him before but come on now, I bet I could set a two year old in front of that case and the door would be open in minutes.

 

[Fritzo]

Probably my most uncomfortable call...

I've got all the standard ones too:

Me: Click on the Start button
Her: Uh...the computer just clicked off
Me: Really? OK, let's restart it then.
Her: OK, it's up.
Me: Now click on the Start button
Her: It shut off again.
(After doing this three or 4 times, I figured out she thought the power button was the Start button)

Caller: Uh, yes. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm having a problem with my double click and my get down bar.

This person thought they were in the support queue, then must have hit the voice mail button while dancing

We have a gigantic "Best of Voicemails" folder on our file server, but it's down for maintenance right now I'll post some later if I'm able to.

 

[DaiShan]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Probably my most uncomfortable call...

I've got all the standard ones too:

Me: Click on the Start button
Her: Uh...the computer just clicked off
Me: Really? OK, let's restart it then.
Her: OK, it's up.
Me: Now click on the Start button
Her: It shut off again.
(After doing this three or 4 times, I figured out she thought the power button was the Start button)

Caller: Uh, yes. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm having a problem with my double click and my get down bar.

This person thought they were in the support queue, then must have hit the voice mail button while dancing

We have a gigantic "Best of Voicemails" folder on our file server, but it's down for maintenance right now I'll post some later if I'm able to.

Hahah, that's awesome that they let you keep the crazy recordings. When I worked phone/email support I printed up a pretty ridiculous email that I received from the customer and tacked it to my bulletin board and was called in for a meeting with my supervisor, HR, the marketing manager, and the head of the IT department to discuss my "obvious disdain for our customers" Keep in mind that this was just an email sent from the customer that I printed and posted in my cubicle. Glad to be out of that job heh.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: DaiShan

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Probably my most uncomfortable call...

I've got all the standard ones too:

Me: Click on the Start button
Her: Uh...the computer just clicked off
Me: Really? OK, let's restart it then.
Her: OK, it's up.
Me: Now click on the Start button
Her: It shut off again.
(After doing this three or 4 times, I figured out she thought the power button was the Start button)

Caller: Uh, yes. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm having a problem with my double click and my get down bar.

This person thought they were in the support queue, then must have hit the voice mail button while dancing

We have a gigantic "Best of Voicemails" folder on our file server, but it's down for maintenance right now I'll post some later if I'm able to.

Hahah, that's awesome that they let you keep the crazy recordings. When I worked phone/email support I printed up a pretty ridiculous email that I received from the customer and tacked it to my bulletin board and was called in for a meeting with my supervisor, HR, the marketing manager, and the head of the IT department to discuss my "obvious disdain for our customers" Keep in mind that this was just an email sent from the customer that I printed and posted in my cubicle. Glad to be out of that job heh.

I'm in charge, so I can do whatever I want Actually, our phone system lets you hit a record button on our screen at any time. It then makes a wav file. We make mixes of customers all the time.

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: DaiShan

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Probably my most uncomfortable call...

I've got all the standard ones too:

Me: Click on the Start button
Her: Uh...the computer just clicked off
Me: Really? OK, let's restart it then.
Her: OK, it's up.
Me: Now click on the Start button
Her: It shut off again.
(After doing this three or 4 times, I figured out she thought the power button was the Start button)

Caller: Uh, yes. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm having a problem with my double click and my get down bar.

This person thought they were in the support queue, then must have hit the voice mail button while dancing

We have a gigantic "Best of Voicemails" folder on our file server, but it's down for maintenance right now I'll post some later if I'm able to.

Hahah, that's awesome that they let you keep the crazy recordings. When I worked phone/email support I printed up a pretty ridiculous email that I received from the customer and tacked it to my bulletin board and was called in for a meeting with my supervisor, HR, the marketing manager, and the head of the IT department to discuss my "obvious disdain for our customers" Keep in mind that this was just an email sent from the customer that I printed and posted in my cubicle. Glad to be out of that job heh.

I'm in charge, so I can do whatever I want Actually, our phone system lets you hit a record button on our screen at any time. It then makes a wav file. We make mixes of customers all the time.

Nice...I wish I had that option for all of my calls at work....

 

[Erik LaRuffa]

Excellent, any other tales??

Any chance you can also post them obn my blog
pctechnerds.net


Thanks