1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A) Lovemaking
B) Screwing
C) Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B) Your blood-test results
C) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A) Your partner climaxes first
B) You both climax simultaneously
C) You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A) Healthy, creative love-play
B) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex with is:
A) The best part of the experience
B) The second best part of the experience
C) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A) No concern of yours
B) Not a problem, she can join your gym
C) A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A) A myth
B) An oxymoron
C) A moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A) Appetizer is to entree
B) Primer is to paint
C) A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A) "I hope we can still be friends."
B) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C) "Welcome to Dumpsville - population: YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of thing.
B) Is uptight and a waste of time
C) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN"
A) Lovemaking
B) Screwing
C) Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B) Your blood-test results
C) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A) Your partner climaxes first
B) You both climax simultaneously
C) You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A) Healthy, creative love-play
B) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex with is:
A) The best part of the experience
B) The second best part of the experience
C) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A) No concern of yours
B) Not a problem, she can join your gym
C) A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A) A myth
B) An oxymoron
C) A moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A) Appetizer is to entree
B) Primer is to paint
C) A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A) "I hope we can still be friends."
B) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C) "Welcome to Dumpsville - population: YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of thing.
B) Is uptight and a waste of time
C) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN"