The Matrix: Rejected

[ndee]

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS!

 

[SilverThief]

I'd like to kick him in the ribs.

 

[Looney]

Lame... i stopped reading after #5.

 

[Trezza]

45 PVC problems

If you're going into physical combat, do not wear skin-tight black plastic clothes. The chafing will literally draw blood, as we saw when such uniforms were tried by the French Army.

if you haven't figured it out its a joke.

And if you don't think that article is funny you should read the reaction in the forum that its linked to.

 

[Krk3561]

A split-second later your head is severed by a shattered helicopter rotor blade, the skull bouncing off a nearby wall, leaving a spray of arterial blood on a motivational poster. Your eyes bulge wide, your brain inside remaining alive just long enough to recognize the horror of your fate. Aviation fuel splashes in through the shattered windows and ignites, incinerating mothers, husbands, fathers, best friends.

LOL! This is hillarious!

I had attended a showing of The Matrix in May of 1999 with a lady friend, because we are both big Morgan Freeman fans. An hour into the film, as I observed what dreck we were wading in, I walked up and stood before the screen and tried to explain to the audience that this vomitus was below their dignity.

I was greeted by some of the most vulgar insults imaginable, until some began throwing objects and one man even knocked my pipe from my hand. Do you wish to be associated with a group of such character?

Hollywood's homophobia never fails to astound me. First, I applauded the romance between the two male characters, Neo and Trinity. Then I found later that, because of demands by Keanu Reeves, Trinity was actually played by a woman in shorthair.

(If you look closely in certain scenes of the film, you can make out breasts.) Where were the protests?

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic
Lame... i stopped reading after #5.

 

[Krk3561]

He also blams Columbine on the Matrix which didnt come out till way after the incident.

 

[LordThing]

Originally posted by: ndee
THERE ARE NO SPOILERS!

What the frick are you talking about, No Spoilers. Unless what he is says is untrue, he gives away the ending, reveals a character twist, and explains the new bad guys (even though you can figure them out from the trailer).

 

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: Byte
Hey, don't diss Dr. Albert Oxford, PhD

Or any PHDs for that matter. They tend to be REAL bright people.

 

[Turkey22]

everyone one who poasted here and didnt realize that was a joke I am just amazed.... truly speechless

 

[Kenazo]

"What's that, honey?"
"Oh, nothing. It just looks like a simple Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Helldemon. I'm sure there's no need to question our fragile, sheltered grasp of 'reality' as we know it."

that's hilarious!

 

[BennyD]

omg, i can counter eery one of those


and yeah dud, better give a spoiler warning!!!

 

[Codewiz]

Originally posted by: Krk3561
He also blams Columbine on the Matrix which didnt come out till way after the incident.

Actually you are wrong.

The Matrix was released in March '99
Columbine happened in April '99

It is a stupid argument but the timeline of the events doesn't break his argument.

This has to be a joke because he makes a reference to the first Rocky movie and talks about how Rocky won the fight. Everyone knows Rocky lost the decision in the first fight.

 

[zCypher]

lmao!

 

[Danman]

WHOEVER WROTE THAT IS A FVCKING IDIOT! :|


I got so mad I just decided to close it, what kind of blasphemy is that?! :Q :disgust:

 

[Codewiz]

The forum is where the idiots prove themselves. These people are just trying to get a rise out of people. So many matrix fans prove they are morons on the forums. They are so dumb they can't see it is a joke so they make themselves out to look like fools.

 

[hdeck]

ok so those aren't real spoilers in there?

*edit* very funny...

 

[CPA]

...over one thousand American children will have died of starvation.

That's the most assinine thing anyone has written in a long time.

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: LordThing

Originally posted by: ndee
THERE ARE NO SPOILERS!

What the frick are you talking about, No Spoilers. Unless what he is says is untrue, he gives away the ending, reveals a character twist, and explains the new bad guys (even though you can figure them out from the trailer).

you really believe everything that is posted on the internet, don't ya? Go to http://www.ndee.ch/yo_suck.php then.

 

[yoda291]

you'd think people would know sarcasm when they see it.

Fine, here's a spoiler to the matrix. It turns out Neo isn't THE ONE. Rather...Jet Li makes a cameo appearance and kicks him in the "arse" so to speak. Then we discover that Agent Smith is really Adam West of batman fame. Jet Li and Batman face off in a duel which is the premise of an entirely new trilogy based on the matrix which will never get made. Rather, a very crappy prequel trilogy will be made describing Neo's childhood as he uses his "powers" to master riding a tricycle. One movie per wheel.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

It's a joke....

 

[RobDowneyJr]

Originally posted by: Angrymarshmello

Originally posted by: Moralpanic
Lame... i stopped reading after #5.

 

[RobDowneyJr]

Oops Double post

 

[Growltiger]

Originally posted by: atom

Originally posted by: Xionide GODAMIT that better not be the real endig that is posted in that thing. IT TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. godamit godami godamit

Good thing you posted, I'm not gonna read it now.

I should have read his post before clicking that stupid link :|

 

[blakeatwork]

The Matrix: Reconsidered, 4

You've worked as a policeman your whole life, protecting the innocent, enforcing the law. You retire with honors, then take a job as a security guard, working the metal detector on the ground floor of a skyscraper in order to help pay for your wife's arthritis medication. You're sitting there, on a slow day, reading your newspaper, when a girl walks in wearing a trenchcoat. She issues no demands, no warnings, no "freeze" or "drop your gun." She just tears you in half with a spray of machine-gun fire, then does cartwheels along the walls while killing all your friends.

Somewhere, faintly, you can hear a theater audience cheering

Oh!... The Humanity!!!


LOL