The Meaning of Life, and Other Trivia

[WombatWoman]

~A FEW WORDS OF WISDOM SEPARATED BY SOME PUNCTUATION MARKS~

• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a busted fan belt and a leaky tire.
  
• It is always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to swipe your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  
• Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  
• Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  
• No one is listening until you fart.
  
• Do not try to teach a pig to sing. She will just hire an agent and win a Grammy and you'll need to get a new pig.
  
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  
• Even when you are feeling completely without value, remember that you can always be useful as a bad example.
  
• If others cannot discover your good qualities without your help, perhaps you need to work on your good qualities.
  
• If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  
• If at first you don't succeed, it's a good thing you aren't a fugu chef.
  
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink Budweiser until he passes out.
  
• If you lend someone 50 bucks, and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  
• Don't squat with your spurs on.
  
• If you tell the truth, you don't have to keep your stories straight.
  
• The number of horses' asses in the world greatly exceeds the number of horses.
  
• Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
  
• There is only one surefire way to handle women. But I won't tell you what it is, I'll just pout until you guess it and take me out to dinner.
  
• Good judgment comes from bad experience, most of which comes from bad judgment.
  
• The only foolproof way to double your money is to fold it in half and stick it back in your wallet.
  
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  
• Never miss a good opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
  
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
  
• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
  
• Smile. It makes your enemies nervous.

~\/\/Ø/\/\ßÅT\/\/Ø/\/\ÅÑ~

 

[azazyel]

Thanks WW I really needed a chuckel.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< There is only one surefire way to handle women. But I won't tell you what it is, I'll just pout until you guess it and take me out to dinner >>




LOL,most of these are real gems but this one made me laugh

 

[docmanhattan]

interesting

 

[TheVrolok]

<<

<< There is only one surefire way to handle women. But I won't tell you what it is, I'll just pout until you guess it and take me out to dinner >>




LOL,most of these are real gems but this one made me laugh >>



Ditto.

 

[fatalbert]

great stuff

 

[Platypus]

<< interesting >>



haha.

 

[sheselectric]

that's the stuff sigs are made of

 

[kranky]

• Good judgment comes from bad experience, most of which comes from bad judgment.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Oh, so true.

 

[signalman]

And here I always thought the meaning of life was '42'.

A note to the clueless: WW has said in the past that she has been writing little humor pieces for over 20 years, publishing in news letters and on bulletin boards. Finding something similar on the web does not prove that she didn't write it originally, duh.

Anyone who doubts that WW is capable of writing humor posts should read her thread "Elementary AnandTech Exposed."

 

[tweakmm]

<< And here I always thought the meaning of life was '42' >>


but what's the question?

 

[signalman]

<<

<< And here I always thought the meaning of life was '42' >>


but what's the question? >>


The question, of course, is "What is six times nine?"

 

[thelanx]

Lol, thanks for yet another quality post.

 

[XZeroII]

excellent. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together

 

[tweakmm]

<< The question, of course, is "What is six times nine?" >>


I always thought it was "How many roads much a man walk down"

 

[signalman]

<<

<< The question, of course, is "What is six times nine?" >>


I always thought it was "How many roads much a man walk down" >>


Or maybe the question is "How do we sleep while our beds are burning?"

And the answer is "Asbestos we can."