THINKING OF getting MARRIED !

[helo7050]

I think you guys are misunderstanding. How it works in our culture is we get engaged. The method is my parents go to her parents house along with me.. they talk and me and her go into her bedroom for sometime and talk. Than if we are interested in proceeding my parents ask for her hand for me and if they say yes we are then engaged. I see this more like permission to date your daughter since that?s what it really is.

Then we will be allowed to go out together as long as we wish. . Usually a year then we set the wedding date. I'm kind of going a different route. If things work out then I?ll tell my parents who i meet and we will go over her house and do the whole thing. So its not like I?m setting the wedding date after the 3rd visit. During the engagement process you can back out at anytime. It happens all the time.

 

[artikk]

You decide.

 

[JulesMaximus]

You're both too young and you clearly are clueless when it comes to dating and marriage.

2 dates and you're already talking about marriage? WTF!!! Are you insane?

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: Presence
wtf no

 

[JImmyK]

For gods sake what kind of Chutianess is this? Of course you shouldnt, the rest of your life you'll be thinking about whether she likes you or that hareemi cousin of yours.

furthermore you sound borderline FOB, go tell your ammi and abu to get you a nice kudi from back home, case closed.

And stop living with your cousin sounds like hes killing your self esteem not to mention your game.

Originally posted by: helo7050
OK GUYS... please read and respond. . i know its a little long but this is my life at stake here.

Ok, i need some advice if i should proceed with this girl that I might marry. BTW i'm 22yrs. and she is 19yrs

Last weekend my roommate's girlfriend(soon to be wife) bought her cousin out and they wanted to setup me and his GF's cousin together to meet and see if we want to proceed with a possible marriage.

I know what your thinking. . well we are Muslim and its culture to do things fast pase like that.

Well all four of us went out to dinner in the city. I would say I?m a good looking guy but my roommate (which is my cousin) is a much better looking and i guess he has this thing where he can seduce any girl he pleases. I guess being tall, dark and built really catches the girls. Well we went out and she was pretty but after sometime i noticed she wasn't paying to much attention on me to say. During dinner my CUz took her cherry from her plate than she made a wise remark saying (you popped my cherry!). .That kinda sent a brief hint but i let it slide and later in the night she made a remark to him saying (you have pretty eyes!). ." which he does--i guess thats what lurrs the girls to him. I dont' know but i wish i had it.." So than i'm now wondering WTF. . Your here to meet me not him...She didn't make any of those types of comments to me. We ended the night. later my cousin called his GF and she said she wants to go out again and meet me again . .

Today....I just got back from the date. . We went to the Museum. all four of us again..
This time We kinda split for about a half hour. me and her and my cousin and his GF. Me and her talked while walking around and got to know each other on a personal level...she is really nice and i think i could fall in love with her pretty easy... After we joined back i noticed she started talking with my Cuz but the conversation seemed as if she was more comfortable talking with him then me. . like she opened to him way more than she opened to me in the few moments. . Again she was making comments to him like "lets smell your colon you got on. . it smells good." Also in the car my cuz was getting ready to put a CD in the player and she told him .. "hurry up put it in, hurry stick it in there....". AT that point i was wondering if she is pretty much set to want him vs. me. So i'm home and posting this damn message...should i bother meeting her a few more times or just let her go since i dont' even think i can trust her already. I didn't feel that strong of a vibe but when i asked my Cuz he said he could feel a vibe from her when she talks to him. . .

Any suggestions, am i just being a little to paranoid. is she just mabe shy towards me because of the awkward situation of how we are meeting or is it she is already fantasizing about someone else besides me.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: helo7050
I think you guys are misunderstanding. How it works in our culture is we get engaged. The method is my parents go to her parents house along with me.. they talk and me and her go into her bedroom for sometime and talk. Than if we are interested in proceeding my parents ask for her hand for me and if they say yes we are then engaged. I see this more like permission to date your daughter since that?s what it really is.

Then we will be allowed to go out together as long as we wish. . Usually a year then we set the wedding date. I'm kind of going a different route. If things work out then I?ll tell my parents who i meet and we will go over her house and do the whole thing. So its not like I?m setting the wedding date after the 3rd visit. During the engagement process you can back out at anytime. It happens all the time.

If that's the case, I say go for it. Bust her cherry and then dump her.

 

[icejunkie]

you're a moron. stfu and diaf... and no!

 

[mwmorph]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: helo7050
I think you guys are misunderstanding. How it works in our culture is we get engaged. The method is my parents go to her parents house along with me.. they talk and me and her go into her bedroom for sometime and talk. Than if we are interested in proceeding my parents ask for her hand for me and if they say yes we are then engaged. I see this more like permission to date your daughter since that?s what it really is.

Then we will be allowed to go out together as long as we wish. . Usually a year then we set the wedding date. I'm kind of going a different route. If things work out then I?ll tell my parents who i meet and we will go over her house and do the whole thing. So its not like I?m setting the wedding date after the 3rd visit. During the engagement process you can back out at anytime. It happens all the time.

If that's the case, I say go for it. Bust her cherry and then dump her.

yuo cant. i think it's a horrible punisment(punishable by death or something) in certain muslium sects.

anyway, she cleary has shown minimal interest in you and is obviously attracted to your cousin. it just wont work man. give it up.

 

[IBuyUFO]

2 dates and you want to get married? I think the only reason you got a second date is because she probably wanted to be with your cousin.

 

[0roo0roo]

betting against u is better than investing in the stock market

DOOM!!!!

 

[hookinitup]

Originally posted by: JImmyK
For gods sake what kind of Chutianess is this? Of course you shouldnt, the rest of your life you'll be thinking about whether she likes you or that hareemi cousin of yours.

furthermore you sound borderline FOB, go tell your ammi and abu to get you a nice kudi from back home, case closed.

And stop living with your cousin sounds like hes killing your self esteem not to mention your game.

HAHAHAHAHA...LOOOOOOOOOL...:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[hg321]

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
Marry her. Everybody needs a first ex-wife.

agreed, everyone needs a ex to be bitter about

 

[akodi]

Originally posted by: helo7050
I would say I?m a good looking guy but my roommate (which is my cousin) is a much better looking and i guess he has this thing where he can seduce any girl he pleases. I guess being tall, dark and built really catches the girls.

. .That kinda sent a brief hint but i let it slide and later in the night she made a remark to him saying (you have pretty eyes!). ." which he does--i guess thats what lurrs the girls to him. I dont' know but i wish i had it.." So than i'm now wondering WTF. . Your here to meet me not him...She didn't make any of those types of comments to me. We ended the night. later my cousin called his GF and she said she wants to go out again and meet me again . .

stop envying your cousin

 

[Snapster]

Given that you have to ask and you're unsure about it pretty much answers itself. No.

 

[asianboi2k]

Here is what I gotta say:
if you still want to persue this, I say tell your parents as quick as you can because if the girls parents find out its gonna look bad at cultural gatherings. Other advice I would give you is if you can't support the girl by a stable job and a place to live, doesn't have to be a house as long as its a stable place to live.

In eastern cultures love comes after marrige and its tough to get a divorce for men or women when they are married. If you guys think this situation is bad you should look at indians bangladeshi and beloved patriot guys who go back to the coutry after they get their green cars. They get married in like at most 1 month of meeting the girl. Afterwards they bring them to the US.

 

[tami]

helo7050: i am jewish. i know somewhat where you're coming from with regard to religious marriages, and i've had folks in my family who are religious enough that they got engaged after a few dates (a little more than 2, though).

but do such marriages last? barely. a lot of people, sadly, get divorced not long afterwards or endure a ridiculous amount of therapy to make things work.

i've had a cousin who got married in such a way. their parents were thrilled -- when they got married, at least. the wedding must have cost $70,000 or more and was a tremendous affair -- but then, 10 months later, the two divorced. obviously, he didn't know her that well and thought she was just as wonderful as you're making this woman out to be -- but it didn't work out as planned.

to be truthful, i did not understand your incoherent ramblings in your first post, but i will tell you that you're not making a wise decision just going out with her twice -- get to know her a little longer and be smart about it. go out with her ALONE, TALK about it with her after a decent amount of time has passed, and don't think off the bat from two dates that it's EASY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. she could have really awful habits that you may have to live with for the rest of your life if you marry her and don't get to know her better.

once you are comfortable, then proceed with telling your parents. but not enough time has passed, and you don't sound ready at all.

 

[LtPage1]

1. shes not into you
2. "i could fall in love with her pretty easily" - FVCK no. you dont get married because you might eventually love the person because you had to. youll be dooming yourself to 60-80 years of hell.
3. stop seeing her. you can do better.

 

Originally posted by: helo7050
I think you guys are misunderstanding. How it works in our culture is we get engaged. The method is my parents go to her parents house along with me.. they talk and me and her go into her bedroom for sometime and talk. Than if we are interested in proceeding my parents ask for her hand for me and if they say yes we are then engaged. I see this more like permission to date your daughter since that?s what it really is.

Then we will be allowed to go out together as long as we wish. . Usually a year then we set the wedding date. I'm kind of going a different route. If things work out then I?ll tell my parents who i meet and we will go over her house and do the whole thing. So its not like I?m setting the wedding date after the 3rd visit. During the engagement process you can back out at anytime. It happens all the time.

I see why the middle east is doing so well.

 

[tyim]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
What's your other account?

Oh, and she's gettin the hot beef injection from your cousin. He's a pimp, you're not. Try dating men.

- M4H

 

[PHiuR]

thinking as a teen american, no and hell no and hell mofo no.
shes not even interested in you, just find another girl to marry.

 

[BadNewsBears]

Words can not express how stupid of an idea marrying ger would be. Pull your head out of your ass.

 

Originally posted by: helo7050
"lets smell your colon you got on. . it smells good."

Nominated for quote of the year.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

Originally posted by: AgaBoogaBoo
Young, but don't look for advice regarding this matter on AT. Look at the demographics, you should speak with people you know personally that know your situation and heritage.

Yes, I'll probably be flamed for this...

Man, if I did an arragned marriage, she';d have to make 6 figures and I'd spend my tiem golfing. That's the only way!

And I have alot of friend that are into arranged mamriiages and I thknk you should mention how it's not love ... maririage. You have to work on love or sum'n like that.

Anyways,
Good luck. I'm not qualliffied to coomennte

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: helo7050
Well she is a VIRGIN!..This i know for a fact. . also she has never been with any other man. . so she is fresh meat!

Not for long....

Hope your cuz is clean.

 

[alm4rr]

Originally posted by: helo7050
OK GUYS... please read and respond. . i know its a little long but this is my life at stake here.

Ok, i need some advice if i should proceed with this girl that I might marry. BTW i'm 22yrs. and she is 19yrs

I stopped reading here.
The answer is no