<< If someone you love is involved with him, have the courage to speak up. Don't let him kill your friend, too. >>
First I want to say that I do feel sorry for the loss of your friend, WW. I hope I don't come across as insensitive, but the example of your friend proves that this "strategy" does not work.
Ask anyone who was "successful" in quitting smoking what it was that made them decide to quit. The overwhelming majority will say they (not exactly the "same" thing, but the same "principle") was they did it for "themselves".
I smoked for 10 years before I quit for good. I had "tried" to quit twice before the last time, but only at the pleas or demands of friends or family.
I finally quit for good, not because someone tried to pressure me into quitting, but because I was tired of it. Tired of coughing in the morning. Tired of giving my money away. Tired of "going outside" to smoke. Smoking became tiresome.
There is not a single person that is "too addicted" to quit. The fact is, those that try and fail do not really want to quit, and the length of time "they" have been smoking is of no significance:
My grandmother smoked unfiltered Lucky Strikes for 50 years and she quit cold turkey.
A co-worker of mine just returned yesterday after being off work for 4 months because of lung cancer surgery. She quit smoking after her first doctor basically signed her death warrant--she didn't quit because it would have helped prolong her life, she quit because she, like me, was tired of it, and angry--trying to prove that even though she was killing herself, she was strong enough to live out her last days seperated from her obsession. Long story short, but it was told to her by many surgeons that her cancer was inoperable and she would not survive--well she found someone that has more confident in his abilities and she's cancer free now, minus a few ribs, and is back at work.
<< Tried desperately to get Carol to stop hanging around with him, but she wouldn't listen. Obsession is like that, sometimes. >>
I'm sorry, but it's not the cancer sticks that killed your friend, it's exactly what you said it was, her obsession. If it wasn't the smokes, she probably would have found something else to kill her instead.
You people want to help your friends kick the habit? Here's how to help:
1. Do not nag, belittle, threaten, plead, or whatever. This won't work, and instead might cause someone to feel a little resentment at their so-called friends who keep saying things like "you reek" or "if you had some will-power".........
2. Let them know that you will be supportive and would try to change your own behavior to help them quit smoking. Most smokers have "triggers" that they need to overcome to successfully keep themselves seperated from their habbit. Most of these "triggers" were activities done with friends. Mine was coffee and beer. My friends gave up the coffee houses and bars for me while I was "quitting", do the same for your friends.
I don't blame the Marlboro man, he didn't cram a pack in my mouth. I did.....and kept doing for 10 years. One doesn't get hooked on a single pack, and the coughing you experience the first time is your body telling you something that you might, or might not, have already known, that breathing smoke really isn't good for you.