To quit my job or not...

[slackerinabox]

It's been a very stressful few months at my job and I'm pretty much at the end of my rope, but being a dad 2 times over's confusing my decision. I'm the IT and web manager for a small non-profit and there's an obvious pattern going on - our COO becomes a total dick to his target by belligerently yelling at them in the hallways, writing very unfair emails, and just being a dick until they either quit on their own or they're eventually laid off. He did this to my now departed boss, her equal in another department, and at least 3 other people in the past 6 months.

Now I report under him and he stacked on 4 pretty big projects in a 2 months period (migrate to exchange in the cloud, totally replace our still working file server, upgrade every workstation, and replacing our conference room projectors with HD monitors).. Now, I'm not complaining about the workload but it's highly suspicious, especially since 2 of these projects should be quarterly goals, not monthly.

Last week, he demanded that I be at work the day after Labor Day an hour early. When my concern was that it would be impossible, (especially under such short notice) because I had to drop my children off at daycare and I live over an hour away, his retort was "I don't care." When I then told him that my wife needed to be at work (as a teacher for autistic children) for her first day of her new school year that day he again replied, "I don't care, it's not my problem. " He then implied that my work life should hold a equal or higher importance to my family life, which is unacceptable to me.

Now, after less than a week after completing a goal my predecessor slept on for 6 years, he's hounding me non-stop about the remainder of my tasks... I bet I'll be fired right after completing those .. Today I have an ominous meeting where he demanded firm timelines on everything remaining.... I'm thinking of just walking. It'll be hard without unemployment but.. Hm.. My rent was recently slashed so I think this is an opportunity to spent a few weeks with my 5 month old then hussle until I find a job that doesn't necessarily pay more but makes me a happier person.

Convince me that I'm being rash.

UPDATE

Now this is fun. Walked in today to our file server being down. Turns out, even with norton up to date, we got hit with ransomware that encrytped all files on our server. I'm guessing 8+ hours to recovery, if at all...

I'm guessing now's the day to walk..

 

[surfsatwerk]

It's a lot easier to find a new job when you're working.

 

[Capt Caveman]

It's a lot easier to find a new job when you're working.

This. Find a new job and quit. Not sure why you needed to create this thread.

 

[Muse]

Maybe rash, but obviously you should get out of there as soon as reasonably possible. Prepare your resume ASAP and get it out there, get some job interviews. A serious immediate job search is definitely in order. Good luck!

It's a lot easier to find a new job when you're working.

Exactly, plus the pay checks keep coming. This is why you do it this way. It sounds like you are quite capable. I think you're likely to find a better job.

 

[slackerinabox]

This. Find a new job and quit. Not sure why you needed to create this thread.

Because I'm blowing off steam.

I always find interviewing during work very difficult, especially since the dress code is casual here. But valid point..

 

[slackerinabox]

Maybe rash, but obviously you should get out of there as soon as reasonably possible. Prepare your resume ASAP and get it out there, get some job interviews. A serious immediate job search is definitely in order. Good luck!Exactly, plus the pay checks keep coming. This is why you do it this way.

So would you complete the scheduled projects or stall while looking for work? What would you all say as an excuse for leaving work early for interviews or taking the day off? I'm not very good at being dishonest, I have a completely transparent face that can't really lie.

 

[wabbitslayer]

I was going to post "Be a man, have some balls, tell the SOB off and quit".



Then I saw where you have kids....and you would really consider quitting a job without having another lined up and not knowing when your next paycheck would be? Really?

 

[Uppsala9496]

All you have to tell the boss is that you are not feeling well and will be taking X hours as sick/PTO. Legally you don't have to disclose anything beyond that. They push for a response and you then lawyer up. Hell, at that point you can quit and then say you quit due to a hostile work environment (boss person kept hounding me what ailment lead to sick time, etc).

 

[fjmeat]

He then implied that my worklife should hold a equal or higher importance to my family life, which is unacceptable to me

Family always comes first. Even if your broke family in bankruptcy. Continue your job hunt while still employed. Venting always helps.

 

[slackerinabox]

I was going to post "Be a man, have some balls, tell the SOB off and quit".



Then I saw where you have kids....and you would really consider quitting a job without having another lined up and not knowing when your next paycheck would be? Really?

Health insurance is through my wife and she gets paid more anyways. Another factor is that childcare's costing us $1,400 a month - a baby sitter when I need to head out for an interview would be cheaper.

My wife suggested that I quit, I did the same for her for 6 months (we had one kid then) for required unpaid training @ her new gig, now she makes a good 30% more than her old gig, and there's a clear long-term career path (which I don't have, I've had 3 years with no raises plus a fancy new title with twice the workload and not a cent more).

 

[gorcorps]

So would you complete the scheduled projects or stall while looking for work? What would you all say as an excuse for leaving work early for interviews or taking the day off? I'm not very good at being dishonest, I have a completely transparent face that can't really lie.

Why be dishonest? "You've made working here absolutely miserable and I'm interviewing for another job. See you tomorrow."

If he cans you then you don't have to worry about leaving.

 

[Uppsala9496]

If you can get them to let you go at least you will get unemployment which will help with the finances. No shame in taking it.

 

[wabbitslayer]

If you can get them to let you go at least you will get unemployment which will help with the finances. No shame in taking it.

to go out in a blaze of incompetence, have people saying, "Now that guy got canned!!!"

 

[disappoint]

Because I'm blowing off steam.

I always find interviewing during work very difficult, especially since the dress code is casual here. But valid point..

So? Show up in a suit. If he asks why you're wearing a suit, ask him "What do you care?" If he asks again "No really why you wearing a suit?" Just keep replying exactly the same way: "What do you care?"

 

[fjmeat]

If you quit, then it's going to be hard to get hired again. No one wants to hire a quitter.

 

[slackerinabox]

If you quit, then it's going to be hard to get hired again. No one wants to hire a quitter.

Well, my old boss loves me and offered to be a reference on her way out of here, and we both have a mutual grudge

 

[slackerinabox]

If you can get them to let you go at least you will get unemployment which will help with the finances. No shame in taking it.

I thought about that as well, the balance between incompetent enough to get laid off and incompetent enough to get fired is slim

OK, a part of me just wants to walk scorched earth style because it would really screw them, at least temporarily (vs. me putting the time and stress into complete months worth of work in weeks, which is exactly what he's trying to do). He wants me to quit so he doesn't have to worry about severance, etc. but I can tell he's putting the screws in slowly - soon he'll ask me to write down all the passwords, finish even more work, then off I go.

 

[Imp]

Not a lawyer...

Sounds like you should start documenting everything and wait for them to lay you off while looking for a new job. The documenting is in case a lawyer is needed.

 

[slackerinabox]

So? Show up in a suit. If he asks why you're wearing a suit, ask him "What do you care?" If he asks again "No really why you wearing a suit?" Just keep replying exactly the same way: "What do you care?"

That could be fun. I think this is the most sane approach, plus burning through days could be fun (not that I have a lot, I took off a few weeks for my baby's birth).

 

[vi edit]

Agree with the others that it's *MUCH* easier to get another job when you are currently employed.

As for other comments in your post, raises and appropriate recognition of work are a fantasy for a lot of IT people any more. Your reward for completing work on time? More work! And do it in less time this time.

So many employers are shifting over to flat raise schedule. Nothing is based on merit anymore. Everyone gets the 2%-3% bump. Only exceptions is if a employer has serious retention issues and they can't keep positions filled. Then they'll do a "fair market analysis" and figure out just how lowball of a salary they are paying for a position and will adjust it to the bare minimum to keep them competitive.

The daycare tab makes things harder though. Since your wife has the benefits there is no pressure on you. At $1400 a month, you need to gross something in the proximity of $45,000 a year to make that even worth going back to work. Plus you need to factor in any loss in retirement benefits and vacation accruals if you remain a stay at home Dad for any extended duration.

It's a tough decision and one that I've faced myself recently.

 

[Imp]

OK, a part of me just wants to walk scorched earth style because it would really screw them, at least temporarily (vs. me putting the time and stress into complete months worth of work in weeks, which is exactly what he's trying to do). He wants me to quit so he doesn't have to worry about severance, etc. but I can tell he's putting the screws in slowly - soon he'll ask me to write down all the passwords, finish even more work, then off I go.

I wouldn't count on that... If he's like you say he is, he'll just go to a temp agency and hire someone to show up within the week for triple your pay. With the way he's blowing through the server and floor computers, doesn't seem like he cares about the company's finances -- unless he's an executive or gets a bonus, why would he.

 

[slackerinabox]

Agree with the others that it's *MUCH* easier to get another job when you are currently employed.

As for other comments in your post, raises and appropriate recognition of work are a fantasy for a lot of IT people any more. Your reward for completing work on time? More work! And do it in less time this time.

So many employers are shifting over to flat raise schedule. Nothing is based on merit anymore. Everyone gets the 2%-3% bump. Only exceptions is if a employer has serious retention issues and they can't keep positions filled. Then they'll do a "fair market analysis" and figure out just how lowball of a salary they are paying for a position and will adjust it to the bare minimum to keep them competitive.

The daycare tab makes things harder though. Since your wife has the benefits there is no pressure on you. At $1400 a month, you need to gross something in the proximity of $45,000 a year to make that even worth going back to work. Plus you need to factor in any loss in retirement benefits and vacation accruals if you remain a stay at home Dad for any extended duration.

It's a tough decision and one that I've faced myself recently.

What did you decide? The daycare's the big sticking point and, ok, I partly wouldn't mind just taking care of the kiddos for a month or two, bonding and all that gushy stuff

 

[Tweak155]

As long as you don't have a lot of employment gaps in your history, I don't think one would hurt you. Take your sanity (and dignity it sounds like) and just move on.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

This. Find a new job and quit. Not sure why you needed to create this thread.

Yep. Finding a job when you have one is so much easier because you can afford to be picky.

 

[slackerinabox]

As long as you don't have a lot of employment gaps in your history, I don't think one would hurt you. Take your sanity (and dignity it sounds like) and just move on.

Sanity/dignity's a big part of this... Sigh.