Toughest question to ask ever.

[4824guy]

I was looking at a older picture of my ex-girlfriend with her when she was alittle heavier, and told her, 'you look alot better now'. A few days later she had major issues with this, and took it as a major insult, that was the start of the end of that relationship. She told me I was supposed to say nothing, not that she looked better now, or then, that I was supposed to make no comparisons at all.

 

[sciencetoy]

There is NO way to do this.

You can be absolutely sure she knows about it. Has she said anything? Maybe she's afraid to talk about it because she thinks you're turned off - and she'd be right, as it happens.

It sounds like she's not too happy about your reaction and she's just kinda waiting for you to say something stupid, so that she can tell you where to go.

Look, if you like her, you like her. If you only like her because her body is a certain way, then tell her that so she can stop wasting her time with you and find a real relationship.

One thing to think about, why is she getting fatter? A new job where she can't work out as much? Change in diet? Is she depressed? Any medical problems? Heredity? Stupidity?

If you can get past the "you are too porky" part and figure out with her what is causing it (nicely), you may have a chance.

Otherwise, your only hope is to continually drag her to things that require extreme fitness - triathlons, mountain climbing, kayaking, and so on, and not let her get away with sitting out. She'll get fitter really fast, if she survives.

Good Luck.

 

[StageLeft]

<< I was looking at a older picture of my ex-girlfriend with her when she was alittle heavier, and told her, 'you look alot better now'. A few days later she had major issues with this, and took it as a major insult, that was the start of the end of that relationship. She told me I was supposed to say nothing, not that she looked better now, or then, that I was supposed to make no comparisons at all. >>



That's just f**king ridiculous, retarded, and ridiculous. You are commenting on her losing weight as being good. NEWS FLASH: Thin people look better than fat people. She knows that and that is why she lost weight. How can she take offense at what you said? Some people are so dumb! When Mrs. Skoorb comments on my little belly roll I don't take offense at it because I'm not so silly as to think that I should be equally attactive with 400 lbs on my abs than with none. Of course physical attraction plays a role in any relationship. You should be glad that you're done with her

 

[Justin218]

hehe get someone else to tell her

 

[nd]

Anonymous e-mail!

 

[damn]

watch a soft ball game and say babe why dont u like it try to make here play they will do rest

 

[DAWeinG]

<<

<< Then dump her.

Explain why you are dumping her. Be specific. "You look like a fu©king cow."

Motivate her to lose weight. "If you look vaguely human again, I may take you back."

Hope that helps! >>



Harsh, but extremely funny >>



Agreed

 

[Ender]

Luke1 makes a decent effort to stay in shape, how come his girlfriend can't?

 

[Antoneo]

Hmm... how about make up a couple of bogus email addresses and send lots of "spam" to her account. The title should be something on the lines of "Put that donut down! Lose weight in twenty days... Click here!" or "Can't see your knees anymore? Click here to get rid of that pot belly!".

 

[Oakenfold]

Okay here's my take, I just had my first anniversary, I'm 23 so pretty young to be married...the one thing that I have learned during this first year is that i picked the right woman...what you need to ask yourself is why do you enjoy your relationship? What things do you like or love about this person, obviously you care about her appearance but it sounds like you are having a problem with your attraction to her because she doesn't physically look the same way when you started dating her. If you are into physical/sexual relationship more so than having a real committment then sit down and explain to her how you FEEL about her and how it's affecting your relationship. If you care about the relationship more so then you probably wouldn't have posted this, because it's not all about sex/the way a woman looks all the time..what matters in the end when you get serious with someone, you have to ask yourself is this someone that I can hang around for 24 hours a day and not get sick of? Those are the things that matters, relationships are more about the interpersonal relationships, almost like hanging with your best friend 24/7...sex and everything else is just the icing on the cake.. I hope things work out for you...and to my Wife Leslie thank you for making me the happiest person that I never thought I would be.

 

[NewCompGeek]

get a membership to a gym and get her one too. easy as that!

 

[glenn1]

Since a lot of the weight she's gained is probably holiday-related, make a late New Years resolution with her that you'll both eat healthier again, now that the holidays are over. That's reasonable, not rude, and provides positive feedback for her, whereas "i'd like to see you lose some weight" is negative feedback.

And BTW, if your ideal is an eternally slender woman, you'll learn as you grow older and wiser

 

[Czar]

Talk to her about general activities, like cycling, hiking or somethinga like. Find the one she seems to like and then confront her and say that you are going to start for example hiking and ask her if she wants to join in. If she says no then no biggy, do this for 2-3 weeks, go hiking. Then tell her that hiking is great and all but its kinda boring doing it alone and.. ahemm.. make her feel guilty then she will join you because she .. ahemm.. cares for you

 

[eakers]

you know what? i bet shes self conscious about it and if you mention anything about it, even like, suggesting joining a gym, it will upset her, like a lot.

trust me.

*kat. <--

 

[Sachmho]

Tie a donut on a stick and attach that to her head so she'll run around trying to catch it

 

[Flaredair]

The only real way is to ask her MOTHER to do your dirty work for you.

 

[Forever42]

This thread makes me physically sick....don't even know why I'm posting.

Half you guys are disgusting. First, 133 and 5'2" isn't blatantly chunky. I'd like to see some before and after pics, just to see what you think fat is. And 20 lbs in 2 years is nothing. That's less than a pound a month. And it's SO much easier for a girl to gain weight than a guy.

And second, you NEVER NEVER tell a girl she needs to lose weight. If she figures it out, ok, if she doesn't, ok. It's her own life. Maybe she's happy the way she is, have you ever thought that? I don't know why anyone in their right mind would want to either look like a stick, or date a stick. Bleh.

 

[ravanux]

I agree with the all the "eat healthier" and "get her to work out" ideas. But remember ease her into the idea. Don't come home with an armful of Jenny Craig pamphlets, work out videos, and dumbells or you might find yourself sleeping in the doghouse. As much as I hate to admit it...girls aren't exactly stupid!

 

[Daniel]

<< And 20 lbs in 2 years is nothing. That's less than a pound a month. And it's SO much easier for a girl to gain weight than a guy.
>>



I don't buy the idea of weight being easier for a girl to gain than a guy, if there is some sort of research then gladly point me to it but otherwise I don't see the logic at all. I know loads of girls that eat whatever they want and are in perfect shape and laugh about it, I could eat a donut and could gain that exact weight of it within 2 days, I train hard and watch everything I eat to stay in shape, they sure as hell don't have to, it differs with every person.

And 20 pounds in 2 years, if there is a reason for it may not be that much but just casual gain for a person who is fully matured well that is a lot, how about if he said he's been with her for 6 years and she is 60 pounds heavier? 8 years and 80 pounds heavier? No, size isn't everything but even from a health aspect gaining almost 10% of your body weight a year is not a healthy thing.