Me thinks people underestimate just how personally invested people are in their games. I don't think her situation is unique because of the "games are misogynistic" angle, I think just about anyone who is a game critic is liable to receive much of the same - she might get more because of how visible she is however. Putting your name and face in a video makes it much easier to be painted as a target.
And while I would agree somewhat - I think it's also a matter of art imitating life.
"The use of sexual or domestic violence as a form of scaffolding to prop up dark and edgy environments has become a pervasive pattern in modern gaming."
I would say the presence of sexual or domestic violence in dark, trying environments is a pattern that exists in real life. Areas ravaged by poverty, war, decay and more have a
much higher incidence rate (scroll down for sexual violence as it relates to household income) for sexual violence. Could most games set in such scenarios function without such acts being portrayed? Yes. Is it out of place? Not really.
I also think there's some level of cherry picking going on. It's certainly not something specific to women (although you could probably make a case it is more prevalent with them and that male "objects" are rarely sexualized in the same manner*) though. In God of War you push a slave in a cage into a pillar of fire or something to activate a switch. The slave is a male. And prior to that when you defeat the hydra to save the captain and take his key, you kick him down the throat of the beast after he gives it to you. (retroactive lol at the criticism of God of War 3 when such things existed, happening to men, in God of War) In Bioshock, which she references a lot, females and males are both subject to scripted scene horrors (again females often involve a sexual angle that males do not) but they are both 'equally' objectified and disposable. That's the life of a background NPC - not specifically the life of a background female NPC.
And that Watch Dogs bit... I think at some point she just has to accept that games are products of technical boundaries, budgets, time constraints and the diminishing returns of work put into features that don't sell a game. The beaten woman that you can't assist is no different than a man with a gunshot wound that you can't assist. And you can't assist them because ultimately it's a feature that isn't really going to move the needle. Would it be nice? Sure. Is it good business? Probably not.
Why are there not female aggressors?
Well, there are hardly any female gang members and
most gangs don't have female members. These 'tropes' might be distasteful and maybe too common, but I can't really say that they're wrong either.
I also disagree with her on how it's used in characterization. I would say that more often than not, a background NPC is presented as nothing more than a neutral character. Had the NPC who killed the women in Red Dead Redemption simply walked out of the building, nothing about him would alert me to him being "evil". If I'd seen one of the men beating a women in Watch Dogs simply walking on the sidewalk, there's nothing inherently evil about him. It is the fact that they are committing these acts which makes them evil, not that only evil people commit them. In fact I think the dialogue that frames the events ("I'm not done with you yet" etc) reinforces the fact that a large portion of these acts originate with someone the victim knows, not simply an evil stranger.
I disagree with how she composites what's logical and what's realistic into one idea as well. They are two distinct thoughts. What's real is a representation of something in real life. But what's logical and unreal can still feel real (a dragon) it if behaves in a way that is cohesive. If you build an alternate universe where no sexual violence is depicted that's fine. But if people are still at war, people are still poor, people are still at odds with each other and fighting and conflicting like so many games rely on - I think sexual violence exists even if you don't see it. If you say "this universe has all this happening... except theres no violence against women" I don't think that's cohesive because those problems are too complex and interwoven to be able to simply eradicate one and just one fullstop.
I do understand that she wants to see the inclusion of such events treated with more gravity, but ultimately these games aren't about sexual violence or humanizing disposable NPCs or social critique. It's about telling a story and selling a game and doing so with finite resources. Not every character can have a story and a satisfying resolution and a happy ending and developers often have to rely on tried and true, albeit possibly insensitive and heavy handed, methods to get a point across which often result in collateral damage to anonymous NPCs, both male and female.
*Curiously, one of the most vivid, and possibly even disturbing acts of sexual violence in my recollection is actually male on male by way of Buck in Farcry 3. That guy was twisted.