trouble with 8 year old

[79Blazer]

The horses are high in this thread. And all the pimple-farmers giving advice when they don't have any children.... :thumbsdown::disgust:

 

[Psycho18]

Originally posted by: OulOat
Stop being a Pussy... Beat your kids

rofl

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: blodhi74
today my 8 year old got his ass beat up (spanked hard ) by me for calling his mom a bitch. After crying for an hour he appologized to her and me..... But I am still pissed. I took his acess to PS2 and TV for 2 weeks.... Talked to mom who as a kid I used to get my behind whooped for misbehaving told me to give him a break. Should I give in or stick with the punisment ????

Stick to your word. Do what you said you would. And then shut up about it. Don't keep adding punishment upon punishment.


(I personally don't believe in spanking, tho.)

Yeah, I would agree. I am not big on physical punishment (folks usually try to say how it's for the kid's benefit, but usually just seems to be a reaction from the parent in the heat of the moment), but that aside, you meted out the punishement and now you should stay with it as far as no PS2 & TV or whatever, it's really not the end of the world. A little break from games and TV can be very good actually. Be prepared to try some new stuff though that might leave you with less free time, reading, maybe some projects like building a model or whatever, it can be very positive for all.

Also, now that the punishment is established and being served, let it be over, don't keep rehashing him calling mom a b!tch. Hopefully your mom will not bring it up with him either.

Re: spanking, have you thought about if there is an age past when you will not want to use spanking as a punishment? Some people are pretty devout spankers but they don't want to do it when the child is too old, etc.

 

[SearchMaster]

Spanking is a very effective punishment when used appropriately, and yes, I do believe there is an appropriate time. If you're spanking your kids every day, it's a worthless exercise. I have three boys, 6yo, 4yo, and a baby. The middle one probably gets spanked twice a year or so, and you better damn believe disrespecting his mother like that would add to the totals. The older one rarely gets spanked, probably not at all in the last couple of years, because the threat of a spanking is generally enough to keep him in line. He'll sometimes act up enough to earn a timeout to his room, but soon straightens up and apologizes.

It's easy to say you don't believe in spanking when you don't have kids. Every kid is different, and every kid responds to different forms of punishment differently. We washed the 4yo's mouth out with soap once for inappropriate language (called his brother stupid I think), and came back 5 minutes later and he was eating the bar of soap on his own. Obviously, that punishment doesn't work with him.

But to answer the question - yes, stick with the punishment. Consistency is the key, even if you went overboard to begin with. He needs to know that disrespecting his parents is a cardinal sin that absolutely will not be tolerated.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: Amol

Originally posted by: SWScorch
stick with it. Never give in. Kids are like predators; if they see a weakness they will exploit it. Evil little bastards.

 

[aidanjm]

 

[mcveigh]

I have a 7 and 9 yr old....he needed the whooping and make damn sure you keep on him, disrespect like that towards his mom is a very bad thing. stop the little things before they grow into big things.

 

[speed01]

Originally posted by: 79Blazer
The horses are high in this thread. And all the pimple-farmers giving advice when they don't have any children.... :thumbsdown::disgust:

:thumbsup: Gotta love it..

Speed

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: OulOat
Stop being a Pussy... Beat your kids

that guy is a cock

 

[WyteWatt]

I am so thankful I have no kids. I feel more blessed everyday! Thanks. No I am not going to suggest how to raise kids because in my opinion I would never be a good parent. I wouldn't even know anyway. Its not worth it.

 

[StageLeft]

After 8 years you know to stick with it. My dad in the past sometimes went a bit overboard and would back down and kind of meet us halfway, but we had no discipline problems really.

----

The one unifying thing about parents who do back down and never carry out their "threats" is disrespectful kids who know they can walk all over their parents.

A child gets one warning. After that nothing - anything else and they know you're a pushover.

I almost think some kids are the results of such discipline negligence that to start them out right you probably would need to get with spankings, but if you do it properly from the beginning they are rarely/if ever needed. They worked well on my brothers and I but I know other people who never had problems with discipline and never got spanked, because their parents stayed on things right away. To my parents' credit so did they, although my mother had no interest in disciplining us, so it fell to my dad, and possible that inconguity was the reason we had to get an ass smack every now and then.

I saw a 6 year old kneeling at the entrance to sears the other day whining like a little baby. See, I'd never have done that because it just wouldn't have flown with my dad. When I saw that kid I wanted to a) smack him and b) deck his parent for being a dumbass and tolerating that sort of nonsense.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Psycho17

Originally posted by: OulOat
Stop being a Pussy... Beat your kids

rofl

This usually shuts them up because they see that the amount of crying is proportional to the amount of beatings.

lmfao

The one-handed chauffeur reach around

HA my dad used to do that all the time!!

 

[shilala]

I think you took the wrong approach completely.
Throw the old lady down the cellar steps a couple times, she quits being a bitch.
The child doesn't have to call her on it, and all is well.
You gotta cut the problem off at the root, man.
Sleep with one eye open tonight. If I'm junior, you get the machete treatment just as you drift off.

 

[nakedfrog]

Stick to it, can't back down.
And ignore all these "Wah wah wah" bleeding heart types.

 

[stnicralisk]

Originally posted by: blodhi74
today my 8 year old got his ass beat up (spanked hard ) by me for calling his mom a bitch. After crying for an hour he appologized to her and me..... But I am still pissed. I took his acess to PS2 and TV for 2 weeks.... Talked to mom who as a kid I used to get my behind whooped for misbehaving told me to give him a break. Should I give in or stick with the punisment ????

You should purchase a book on behaviorism.

You need to ask yourself what works with the child. Does spanking stop the child from further misbehavior? If not then there really is no reason to do so. The same goes with taking away privelages. You can give in on your punishment but if you establish a routine of doing so the child will learn that routine as well and will associate it with future punishments as well.

I would suggest talking to the child about why he called his mother a name. Talk to the child about how that method of dealing with the situation was inappropriate and offer some suggestions on appropriate behaviors for stress relief.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: NOLOVE
Yeah, beat your children. Afterall... somebody has to be America's future.

I got my ass spanked when I was a child, and it made me the person I am today.
I commend my parents for doing it, and would not choose to have had it any other way.

heh... if you read that, it kinda sounds like a poem...

 

[stnicralisk]

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: NOLOVE

Originally posted by: BigJ

Originally posted by: NOLOVE

Originally posted by: BigJ

Originally posted by: NOLOVE
What separates spanking from beating? Open vs. closed fist?

This is your child. You're beating him because he learned how to use the word 'bitch'. I'm sure the little 8 year old went online and looked up the definition and context so that he could use it when he needed to. He probably heard it from you... or learned it through the net of your great parenting skills.

Beating a child would include any and all objects, a closed fist, and actually hurting the child.

So the kid is only bawling for hours because his butt was showing in front of his dad, right? Please.

Younger children cry. It happens. Especially after being spanked. And especially if they know they did something wrong. I guess you never cried as an 8 year old eh?

Nowhere did I ever state that beating a child was ok.

I don't know if the OP beat or spanked his child, but I'd guess his child would've probably been crying for a lot longer than an hour if he got beat.

The point is... SPANKING "ACTUALLY HURTS THE CHILD". It gets hurt being slapped in the palm of your hand, you don't think it might hurt a kid's bare ass?

yeah keep talking to ur kid and think they would pay an ounce of attention

You keep thinking that they dont pay any attention to you. As an educator I can get other people's children to listen to me. Think about it. I cannot spank them at all. I cannot physically force them to do anything. Some of them have parents that refuse to punish them. I have been able to get the majority of the students on task however. You know how I did it? I talked to them.

 

[TravisT]

I can tell you that when I was younger and got a spanking when i got out of line, i would have given up a spanking by my dad any day of the week for 5 or 8 minutes in a corner. Rest assured that you did the right thing, blodhi74.

This is whati s wrong with children today. Parents aren't willing to take a strong stance to correct their children when they need it. You will only find that later on down the road your children will have more respect for you and still love you just as much as anyone else here saying that "spanking is bad".

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

 

[FoBoT]

stay with the punishment, you got to nip that garbage in the bud hard

he probably got it from the scumbags at school

stick to your guns on this

 

[Cardio]

Please give in , unless you want your word to mean something.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: troytime
what do kids learn from physical punishment other than "dad doesn't like me doing that"

That is the point. There are very few times you ever have to spank your child at all, and disrespect is one of them. When they respect you, talking to them is a lot more receptive.

Although I don't think I will be spanking past the age of 5, they had to have learned respect by then or spanking won't really help...

 

[Lorn]

Originally posted by: TravisT

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

The words of overzealous men.

 

[Legendary]

***I AM NOT A PARENT***
As a recipient of spanking (not recently, but when I was a kid), I would agree with the idea of using it as a last resort. Believe me, when I was little, if something merited a spanking, it was never ever ever ever done again. But once again, only as a last resort. A spanking for a meaningless offense completely undermines any system of punishment.
***I AM NOT A PARENT***

 

[DeMeo]

this is why tigers eat their young

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: SearchMaster
I have three boys, 6yo, 4yo, and a baby. The middle one probably gets spanked twice a year or so, and you better damn believe disrespecting his mother like that would add to the totals. The older one rarely gets spanked, probably not at all in the last couple of years, because the threat of a spanking is generally enough to keep him in line. He'll sometimes act up enough to earn a timeout to his room, but soon straightens up and apologizes.

It's easy to say you don't believe in spanking when you don't have kids.

I don't believe in hitting a child to teach him a lesson, and like I said, I have two boys (10 and 7).

You don't think you can teach your kids to respect their parents without resorting to hitting them? Do you honestly think they aren't intelligent enough to learn why it's important other than their dad will bend them over and cause physical pain???