trouble with 8 year old

[djheater]

People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

I have to wonder #1 where he heard that and #2 why he thought it wouold be acceptable to call someone that name.

I just know way too friggin many hypocrit fathers who use profanity and then are appalled when their kids use these words around them.

If this was the first time and you don't use these words around him, then I'd have merely asked if he knew what that word meant. His answer would have dictated my course. He may not have known what he was saying.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: djheater
People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

mom, is that you?

 

[Brutuskend]

Eddy Murphy on SNL's Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood: "The word of the day is "Bitch". Go to you mom right now and say "bitch". If she slaps you, you're saying it right."


Seriously though. This kinda thing is not acceptable for a 8 year old. Or ANY kid IMO.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: djheater
People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

mom, is that you?

Yes, and touching yourself makes baby jesus cry.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: djheater
People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

mom, is that you?

Yes, and touching yourself makes baby jesus cry.

then i suspect hes dried out like beef jerky.

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: Wingznut

Originally posted by: Darilus
If you don't want to spank your child, fine, no one is trying to make you do it. Referring to it as "hitting" just conjurs up images of child abuse, which no one here has seriously condoned. There's nothing inherently evil about spanking as a form of discipline. After all, think of all the emotional trauma you're causing your child by putting him in time out. :disgust:

Spanking is the act of hitting a child on the ass in the name of discipline.

But I still haven't heard a good reason to do it. Kids are NOT stupid. They are NOT animals. They have the ability to reason and learn.

There is absolutely no need to inflict physical pain to teach them how to behave. There's just no point to it.

Originally posted by: vood0g
when telling them doesnt work, then its time to spank and that has ALWAYS worked.

Ask yourself this... Why doesn't telling them work? Are they absolutely stupid? Are you not explaining "why" correctly? Do they not have enough respect for you (motivation) to want to impress their parent?

sometimes kids are kids and they just do not listen. most of the time, my kids will listen and they remember not to do something that they were told not to. other times they are just being hard headed and choose not to listen, and thats when i spank them.

if you are able to teach your kids without telling them to do something more than once, then i congratulate you on having well behaved kids. i am the type of parent that will only tell my kids once that something is wrong, and i will spank my child if it happens again. rarely these day have my daughters disobeyed me becuase they know that they will get spanked should i tell them more than once. they will obey what i say out of respect or they will obey me out of fear of getting a spanking. either way they will obey.

on the part of explaining "why" correctly, i tell them that it is bad. to me, all they they need to know what "bad" is, and they know that "bad" means no no. they dont need to know why its bad, other than the fact that i say that it is bad. i can tell them that action X is bad, and they know that action X=bad. if they still do action X, then i will spank them.

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Eddy Murphy on SNL's Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood: "The word of the day is "Bitch". Go to you mom right now and say "bitch". If she slaps you, you're saying it right."


Seriously though. This kinda thing is not acceptable for a 8 year old. Or ANY kid IMO.

exactly, i cant think of any good reason for any 8 year old to call their mother a bitch. even if she was a bitch, it's still no place for the child to say it.

edit: well, i take that back, maybe in extreme circumstance, but that will be the exception to the rule and will be judged on separately.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I wouldn't give in at this point. Stick it out with the punishment.

 

[ericb]

LOL...all of these PC comments from NON parents are great. Spanking is a form of punishment and shouldn't be used except as a last resort but it is a last resort. My children aren't going to grow up thinking they own me, can order me around as their slaves and they will not be one of those kids you see in stores calling their mom a stupid bitch because they can get away with it. This was a stupid question to ask in ATOT though given the high noise to signal ratio and high percentage of bored spoiled teenagers here.

 

[artikk]

Originally posted by: PhasmatisNox
Stick with it.

yes, the best option is to stick with punishment. In the long run you'll be better off.

 

[MisfitsFiend]

A spanking (not a beating) is perfectly fine

when I was a kid, my mom would "spank" me with a belt, or her hand if there was no belt around...I don't see any problems with spanking (not beating, spanking).

Edit: to respong to the loving parents after spanking...I love my mom very much, and I didn't turn out any differently because she spanked me.

 

[MisfitsFiend]

People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

I think guilt and shame are MUCH WORSE than a spanking!!

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: vood0g
they will obey what i say out of respect or they will obey me out of fear of getting a spanking. either way they will obey.

on the part of explaining "why" correctly, i tell them that it is bad. to me, all they they need to know what "bad" is, and they know that "bad" means no no. they dont need to know why its bad, other than the fact that i say that it is bad. i can tell them that action X is bad, and they know that action X=bad. if they still do action X, then i will spank them.

Are you joking???

This is really all about power and obediance to you, isn't it? To hell with teaching the children to reason for themselves? To hell with giving them the knowledge to make the right decisions for themselves and the people around them?

"Obey me, or I will hit you!" is exactly what you are saying. Spectacular.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: MisfitsFiend

People who need to physically discipline their children have an incomplete understanding of how to use guilt and shame as weapons.

I think guilt and shame are MUCH WORSE than a spanking!!

You're obviously not Catholic.

 

[KoolAidKid]

Causing physical pain to others is despicable. Doing it to someone with no rights is even worse.

 

[jai6638]

Originally posted by: Aharami
wow. just wow! i'd never even think of calling my mom that....no matter what age!

and if i did that when i was 8, I probably wouldnt be alive to post this today. Then again, I grew up in India.

lol same here... On second thoughts, i would never even want to call my mom that in the first place but thats just me...

I say u should punish him..

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: Wingznut

Originally posted by: vood0g
they will obey what i say out of respect or they will obey me out of fear of getting a spanking. either way they will obey.

on the part of explaining "why" correctly, i tell them that it is bad. to me, all they they need to know what "bad" is, and they know that "bad" means no no. they dont need to know why its bad, other than the fact that i say that it is bad. i can tell them that action X is bad, and they know that action X=bad. if they still do action X, then i will spank them.

Are you joking???

This is really all about power and obediance to you, isn't it? To hell with teaching the children to reason for themselves? To hell with giving them the knowledge to make the right decisions for themselves and the people around them?

"Obey me, or I will hit you!" is exactly what you are saying. Spectacular.

i trust that my values on what is right and wrong are correct. when my children grow up then they can decide for themselves what is right and wrong. but as of now, my 4 and 2 year old will just have to learn that what i say goes.

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: vood0g
i trust that my values on what is right and wrong are correct. when my children grow up then they can decide for themselves what is right and wrong. but as of now, my 4 and 2 year old will just have to learn that what i say goes.

What's the downside to teaching them WHY? Don't you think they can make better decisions in the future if they know the reasoning behind it. (Aside from their daddy smacking them on their ass, that is.) I have no doubt your kids are pretty smart, and have the ability to understand what you teach them.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
What bothers me about how you punished your child is that you acted out of angry[sic] and you are still angry.

Originally posted by: Wingznut
There are plenty of kids who were raised within domestic violence, drug addiction, etc. and still turned out well. This doesn't mean anything.

I just checked on my boys, and made sure they were covered up. I look at them and can't imagine what would bring me to hit them. There's just no point.

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease
That said, I have very little respect for an adult who hits a child. Members of the Quaker faith have a history of raising children without resorting to corporal punishment and having met dozens of adults who grew up that way, they do a pretty damn good job.

:beer: :beer: :beer: to you three, and all the others. specifically including Rainsford, who have been the voice of wisdom, reason and love in this thread.

 

[shimsham]

been the voice of wisdom, reason and love in this thread.

are you implying that those of us who have found it necessary to spank lack those traits? it would be foolish and ignorant to do so.

spanking is a method, just like timeouts and lectures, that can be effective or not, depending on the child, parent, and situation.

 

[biostud]

Beating a child = t3h loose.

If you can't convince a child what it has done is wrong, otherwise than beating it your skills of child raising is low. Specially for something as little as this. If you fight the spoken word with violence (specially if spoken from a child), I believe you're overreacting.

Convince your child how much these words hurts his mother and he will regret it.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: biostud
Beating a child = t3h loose.

If you can't convince a child what it has done is wrong, otherwise than beating it your skills of child raising is low. Specially for something as little as this. If you fight the spoken word with violence (specially if spoken from a child), I believe you're overreacting.

Convince your child how much these words hurts his mother and he will regret it.

again, spanking and beating are 2 different things. spanking does not automatically equal a lack of parenting skills.

 

[Lorn]

Originally posted by: randal

Originally posted by: NOLOVE
You ARE a heartless prick that DID beat a child. If you slap your wife she's going to let it go because "it was just a spanking" right? Or is it the humility of a nude child over your lap that satisfies you? You're stuck either way... you physically harmed him and humiliated him.

You are perhaps the most ignorant person I have ever seen online. Please do not procreate.

I'm ignorant because (from what he's been saying) spanking is a *justified* version of hitting? I'm ignorant because (from what he's been saying) its right to do to a child's ass and not a grown person's face? Speak on it.

 

[Lorn]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: biostud
Beating a child = t3h loose.

If you can't convince a child what it has done is wrong, otherwise than beating it your skills of child raising is low. Specially for something as little as this. If you fight the spoken word with violence (specially if spoken from a child), I believe you're overreacting.

Convince your child how much these words hurts his mother and he will regret it.

again, spanking and beating are 2 different things. spanking does not automatically equal a lack of parenting skills.

OP dad here says himself his kid was "spanked hard". Now if a grown man is able to know that he is spanking his kid with enough force to call it "beat up (spanked hard)... imagine that from an 8 year old boy's bare bottom. Dad thought it and even called it "hard", I doubt it felt like patty-cake for the kid.