TV or Movie one liners thread

[Spydermag68]

Red Dwarf - Kryton - "No silicon heaven. Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go?"

Moved from ATCG
ATCG Mod
Queasy

 

[Tristicus]

Wut

 

[Fanatical Meat]

Shirley you must be joking putting this thread in console gaming

 

[Sadaiyappan]

All your bases are belong to us

 

[Kabob]

Can't we just let the fail thread die?

 

[A Casual Fitz]

Come on!

 

[Linflas]

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

 

[shiner]

In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos."

 

[CAW!]

The first law of fight club is that you're not supposed to talk about it to other people.

 

[Bl0cks]

Anything can happen when two people share a cell cuz.

 

[Josh123]

Pump your brakes, kid. That man is a national treasure.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

Give your greetings to my undersized companion.

 

[zzuupp]

He was serious, and stop calling him shirley

 

[Wyndru]

I'm Rick James, bitch!

 

[palswim]

Let's rehabilitate Phil... in the face!

 

[CAW!]

My names is James Bond. James Bond.

 

[ConwayJim]

"...there is a fine line between clever and stupid..."

 

[xanis]

This here is the .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it'll blow your head clean off. So, you gotta ask yourself just one question: "Do I feel Lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

 

[Pardus]

spaceballs

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!

 

[Anubis]

I got a full-on robot chubby

 

[trmiv]

Arnie has like a million of them. Some of my favs.

From Commando where he promises to kill Sully last, but it now holding him over a cliff.
Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That’s right Matrix, you did
Matrix: I lied

Then after dropping Sully off the side of the cliff:

Cindy: What happened to Sully?
Matrix: I let him go.

Later in the movie he throws a pipe through Bennett hitting a steam pipe in back and utters this masterpiece:

Matrix: Let off some steam, Bennett.

Great ones from Total Recall too.

"Consider that a divorce" after he caps Sharon Stone

"See you at the party, Richter!" after the guy gets his arms chopped off and falls to his death.

 

[BoomerD]

Full Metal Jacket is full of some great "One-liners."

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o' shit, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

Private Joker: I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

Private Joker: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

Private Eightball: What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamned beaucoup.

Animal Mother: Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the wrong g**ks.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed beautiful being down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!

 

[Ninjahedge]

You get to drink, FROM THE FIRE HOSE!!!!!

 

[mesthead21]

I thought you were going to say the sun was in your eyes.... That is to say, your eye

 

[A Casual Fitz]

There can be only one