Ultrasound Vent/Rant

[ThunderGirl]

Ok so I had my 20week ultrasound today, right ok so they tell me there could be a problem w/ the baby as it looks way undermatured but they can't tell me anything for a month until they can do another ultrasound as baby is to small to measure anything correctly. What the heck , now I have to wait a month to find out if my baby is ok like any mom needs that kind of worry/stress. Seems they could do something to see if due dates were just off or if there was a problem w/ the baby's health. GRRR

Oh and to top it off my husband (seperated) well he said he doesn't want to know anything about the baby ieroblems, when I go into labor, when it is born, gender, ect. Anyhow so I call his mom as his parents want to be informed to see if she thinks he really means it, she was hesitant and said no I don't think so why what is up. So I tell her what I know and she says let me talk to him. Right so that was earlier this evening do you think he called, emailed anything? NO guess he did mean it. I just don't flipping understand. Oh I am ticked, hurt, upset.

Oh well thanks for the vent. :disgust::|:frown:

 

[ThunderGirl]

Wow not even one post or flame. I am impressed. Guess I am just a useless poster here LOL no one reads my thread. LOL I needed a good laugh.

 

[rgwalt]

I read your thread and I'm sorry that you are having to go through this without the support of your ex. Just remember how he is treating you down the road. I'll keep you in my prayers, and let us know what happens with the "bun" in the "oven".

Ryan

 

[The Stigenator]

see if you can take the 4D ultrasound.... ???

I was born Premature, and while its not really good to be born premature (like I was really premature) the fact is that I turned out alright despite a few tiny problems that dont bother me.. one is that i had a cataract (prematures have this problem) and I might be diabetic someday (thanks to my premature and my family history).

4D ultrasound is a new technology by GE that shows the baby in 3D perspective in real time...

 

[narzy]

your husband sounds like a real asshole, if there is anything support wise that I can do to help or refer, I would be more then happy to be an ear. it really sucks what is happening from what you have posted. I am sure your baby is fine and healthy, tell yourself that, and all will be good. sometimes babies are just small. some grow faster then others. doctors some times don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, I would get a second opinion. I would let as many people as possible know what is happening aswell as your atterny so if in the future you do not stay together, you have plenty to get full custody and keep the jerk away from your child. DNA doesn't make a father.

 

[Nemesis77]

Am I the only one who thought that this thread was about the old Gravis Ultrasound sound-card ? I read the post and thought "What is she talking about? The soundcard is undermatured???"

Your ex doesn't want to hear about any problems with the baby? Hmmmmm.... Whether he likes it or not, the child is also his responsibility! What can I say.... Men are idiots.

 

[ThunderGirl]

with my girls (3,2,1) I started preterm labor between 20-24 weeks. They all are healthy now and one was considered preemie when she was born. But I never had this your baby is undermature crap from an ultrasound before. Let alone well we can't tell you anything as we can't really measure the brain and other things right now as it is to small. BS there should be something to ease me. Not oh we will run tests to make sure you don't have an infection we have missed to see if that is it.

I asked could it be from stress and not being able to eat or throwing up constantly the baby is just not getting the nutrients it needs. Oh no that would not be likely it takes what it needs first. FINE then get to work now to tell me what is wrong Not a flipping month from now!

 

[OS]

Originally posted by: ThunderGirl
Wow not even one post or flame. I am impressed. Guess I am just a useless poster here LOL no one reads my thread. LOL I needed a good laugh.

I read your post a while ago, but there really isn't anything of use I can offer.

Sorry to hear that life is hard for you. Where is your extended family at this time? (parents, sisters, brothers, etc.)

I wish I could help you out.

 

[ThunderGirl]

Originally posted by: Nemesis77
Am I the only one who thought that this thread was about the old Gravis Ultrasound sound-card ? I read the post and thought "What is she talking about? The soundcard is undermatured???"

ROFL

 

[ThunderGirl]

Originally posted by: OuterSquare

Originally posted by: ThunderGirl
Wow not even one post or flame. I am impressed. Guess I am just a useless poster here LOL no one reads my thread. LOL I needed a good laugh.

I read your post a while ago, but there really isn't anything of use I can offer.

Sorry to hear that life is hard for you. Where is your extended family at this time? (parents, sisters, brothers, etc.)

I wish I could help you out.

I am not close to my half brothers and sisters. My grandparents are all dead. However my mom has been here for like 6 weeks and is going back to WI to pack up her things and move out here to help me some. We shall see how this goes we don't get along that great. Have very different ideas on what woman should do and how to raise kids. Oh well as long as she has her OWN place I think it will be ok.

Just pray if you believe in prayer for my baby please.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Nemesis77
Am I the only one who thought that this thread was about the old Gravis Ultrasound sound-card ? I read the post and thought "What is she talking about? The soundcard is undermatured???"

Probably, I was thinking more about the sound bats, some rodents and some insects make when I saw the title

Anyway, just nef the hell out of us in the next weeks, will keep your mind off your problems a bit, even if it's for a few seconds once in a while

 

[MichaelD]

Just out of curiousity, what is your opinion of your husband's rationale for leaving you?

Also, I noticed that you already have children aged 3, 2 & 1...they seem to be VERY close together...now you're preganant again a year later. Where all these pregnancies a mutually agreed upon thing b/t you and your husband? I'm not taking sides; just gathering some info...I have a bit of experience w/this type of thing.

 

[Jzero]

I know that you're probably just venting and ranting (duh--see the title of this thread), but even with all our technological magic, there are still limitations. You'll pull through. Good luck.

 

[rudder]

I take it those are your children in your tupperware link? You have some very cute children. You sound like my wife so much. She gets stressed out very easily and the only thing it accomplishes is that is makes her feel bad physically. I never get flustered easily (then again I never carried around an unborn child).

I know it may be difficult but the baby needs you to just get some good rest and find a way to relax. I don't know your whole situation of why your husband seperated, but his mom seems is interested in the child. Don't worry about him right now. Go take you childen out to see Lilo and Stitch. On second thought, since I have 2 little ones myself, I know how stressful that could become!

Like I said, I have never been pregnant so I will never understand the bond you have with your child. But you have to put that last ultrasound out of your mind for right now. I am not an ultrasound tech or a doctor, but do you think if the baby had some serious problems they would have ordered you to bed rest or made you stay for observation? They sent you home which is a positive sign. Take it real easy for a few days. There are some good people on here that will pray for you.

 

[Mister T]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Just out of curiousity, what is your opinion of your husband's rationale for leaving you?

Also, I noticed that you already have children aged 3, 2 & 1...they seem to be VERY close together...now you're preganant again a year later. Where all these pregnancies a mutually agreed upon thing b/t you and your husband? I'm not taking sides; just gathering some info...I have a bit of experience w/this type of thing.

My sentiments exactly.... I hope everything turns out alright for your baby. Unless you want to tell AT your whole relationship with your ex, there is really no way for anyone to have an informed view of whether he is a heartless POS father...

 

[GSOYF]

well that sad story certainly does make me feel better about my life....sorry though

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

TG, I know it's difficult to "not worry", but since there's really nothing you can do to change the information regarding your baby, or your sperm doner's indifference, then try to concentrate on things that lend a calming influence (a good friend, your mom and perhaps his mother?), to get you through the rough spots.

BTW how sure are you of your dates (conception)? Did they do a early ultrasound ~6-10 weeks for dating?

Good luck to you, it's not easy waiting for test results esp. if you have to wait for another test first!

 

[Draknor]

wow....

I'm sorry to hear about the sh!t going on right now, Thundergirl! Take some time to relax if you can - see if you can get some time away just to be by yourself.

But you said you needed an LOL, huh? Well, I don't know what kind of humor you enjoy, but here's a couple of links that have made me ROTFL

Think you have problems? At least you're not a manic-depressive webserver!
The infamous IRC quote database - now on a new host!
The Onion - America's Finest News Source!
Dilbert! (30-day archive)

Ok, that's all that I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure others have great LOL sites to post

 

[ThunderGirl]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Just out of curiousity, what is your opinion of your husband's rationale for leaving you?

Also, I noticed that you already have children aged 3, 2 & 1...they seem to be VERY close together...now you're preganant again a year later. Where all these pregnancies a mutually agreed upon thing b/t you and your husband? I'm not taking sides; just gathering some info...I have a bit of experience w/this type of thing.

first one not planned got pg on wedding night, 2nd one nope was dumb and breastfeeding doesn't work as birthcontrol LOL they are 11 mos and 3 days apart, 3rd one no planned but we were going to start trying a few months down the line so it was not a big deal 2nd and 3rd are 15 mos 3 days apart, This baby No we didn't want another one for at least a couple years. But you know it takes 2 to make a baby so it is not my fault don't even go there.

He has many reasons to validate leaving all of which I think w/ time, patience, counseling could be worked through. He was a great father and a pretty good husband. I just think it is to much for him he wants to be single and free again and not seeing that no matter what that will never happen as he has $$ obligations he can not just avoid. Oh well I am dealing and we are starting to get a routine w/ out daddy around he has been gone since beg of June.

I am just so frusterated that now this thing with the ultrasound has developed and he doesn't even seem to care and now I am alone in it as well.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and ideas.

GSOYF: glad I could make you feel better. It is nice sometimes to hear someone worse off than you makes you more content with what you have. I am very greatful I have 3 heathly beautiful girls.

Rudder: Yep those are my girls on the site it is from last Oct. Need to get a new pic on there. Thanks for the compliment. If a mom didn't get stressed don't know how she would live LOL

Yo-Ma-Ma: his mom and I don't really get along very well and they live almost 2 hrs from me. They maybe come up once a month and have only seen the girls since we moved here in March twice. I am sure on dates. my due date is Dec 24 but they were indicating by the ultrasound that it was showing more like Feb. And the pg test beg of May showed positive, plus I feel some baby movement, they heard the heartbeat when I was supposed to be 11 weeks. So I am not sure what to think. Oh well I am just going to try and focus on the kids and keep my mind busy .

Draknor: thanks for the sites they were a hoot.

 

[Azraele]

Waiting can be the hardest most demanding thing asked of a person. Hopefully, all will be well, and try not to worry too much. As for your husband, from reading your posts before, he is not reliable, nor is capable of helping provide a stable home for your family. Get some counseling on the subject to help you deal with all that's been happening. If you need to talk, just shoot me a pm or an e-mail, sometimes a stranger's ear can soothe.

Best of luck to you and yours.

 

[MichaelD]

ThunderGirl,

Well, I gotta give you credit for explaining in such detail; it takes guts to do that.

IMO, you and your husband got off to an "early start" and really didn't do things wisely. I.E. didn't use any birth control! I am guessing you're both around 25 years old or so.

You had one, two, three kids, then got pregnant with the fourth and he lost his mind. He suddenly said "damn, this is not what I envisioned myself doing for the rest of my life!" and he bailed on you, possibly to save his own sanity. Fatherhood and family life is not for everyone.

You do not marry someone you can't live with either. That's why I didn't marry my son's mother. I have a six year old son that I see every other weekend...when she's not disappearing with him with one day's notice, that is. :|

I hated my son's mom (then my GF) about three months before I found out she was pregnant. I hadn't even SEEN the woman in two months when I got "The Phone Call That Will Forever Live In Infamy." Seven months later, *BAM* I'm a father, his mom hates me, I hate her, and she's already in Child Support Court.

To say "I got screwed b/c I couldn't afford a lawyer" is putting it mildly. My @sshole has still not returned to it's normal size from the reaming I got...and now it's almost seven years later.

I still hate my son's mom, but I love my son intensely. I butt heads w/his mom all the time because I feel that my son is a PART of my life. He is not my ENTIRE life though, which is how she feels that I should feel. I have other obligations that I must meet and just b/c he has a school play or something that I find out about that day, does not mean I should cancel dates, business dinners or just sitting on my ass to drive 40 miles across town to spend 34 seconds with him and have his mom hit me up for money. Again.

This is what you may be facing. I can tell you this, though. He will lose. Men always lose. You can be smug about that to YOURSELF, but keep it quiet, else it's the children that will suffer for the animosity b/t you and your ex. My son had a LOT of behavioral probs in kindergarten, and I feel it's b/c of the trauma he's been thru seeing the tension and hatred b/t his mom and I. He's older now, and I think is better-equipped, mentally, do deal with it.

I love my son. Nothing will ever change that. What will be b/t you and your husband will be. Do not spite the children though b/c you want to see his head on a pole. Let them see their daddy. Do not make it impossible for him to spend quality time with them, like my son's mom did to me. When he was much younger and I wasn't allowed to physically take him for the weekend, and had to go over to her house to spend time with him, she'd schedule garage sales, family get togethers, you name it on the days I'd go see him. I wanted her dead. I still do. But I keep that to myself. When my son is around, I smile at her and say "please and thank you." You need to do the same.

good luck, no matter what happens.

 

[ThunderGirl]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
ThunderGirl,

Well, I gotta give you credit for explaining in such detail; it takes guts to do that.

IMO, you and your husband got off to an "early start" and really didn't do things wisely. I.E. didn't use any birth control! I am guessing you're both around 25 years old or so.

You had one, two, three kids, then got pregnant with the fourth and he lost his mind. He suddenly said "damn, this is not what I envisioned myself doing for the rest of my life!" and he bailed on you, possibly to save his own sanity. Fatherhood and family life is not for everyone.

You do not marry someone you can't live with either. That's why I didn't marry my son's mother. I have a six year old son that I see every other weekend...when she's not disappearing with him with one day's notice, that is. :|

I hated my son's mom (then my GF) about three months before I found out she was pregnant. I hadn't even SEEN the woman in two months when I got "The Phone Call That Will Forever Live In Infamy." Seven months later, *BAM* I'm a father, his mom hates me, I hate her, and she's already in Child Support Court.

To say "I got screwed b/c I couldn't afford a lawyer" is putting it mildly. My @sshole has still not returned to it's normal size from the reaming I got...and now it's almost seven years later.

I still hate my son's mom, but I love my son intensely. I butt heads w/his mom all the time because I feel that my son is a PART of my life. He is not my ENTIRE life though, which is how she feels that I should feel. I have other obligations that I must meet and just b/c he has a school play or something that I find out about that day, does not mean I should cancel dates, business dinners or just sitting on my ass to drive 40 miles across town to spend 34 seconds with him and have his mom hit me up for money. Again.

This is what you may be facing. I can tell you this, though. He will lose. Men always lose. You can be smug about that to YOURSELF, but keep it quiet, else it's the children that will suffer for the animosity b/t you and your ex. My son had a LOT of behavioral probs in kindergarten, and I feel it's b/c of the trauma he's been thru seeing the tension and hatred b/t his mom and I. He's older now, and I think is better-equipped, mentally, do deal with it.

I love my son. Nothing will ever change that. What will be b/t you and your husband will be. Do not spite the children though b/c you want to see his head on a pole. Let them see their daddy. Do not make it impossible for him to spend quality time with them, like my son's mom did to me. When he was much younger and I wasn't allowed to physically take him for the weekend, and had to go over to her house to spend time with him, she'd schedule garage sales, family get togethers, you name it on the days I'd go see him. I wanted her dead. I still do. But I keep that to myself. When my son is around, I smile at her and say "please and thank you." You need to do the same.

good luck, no matter what happens.

Oh my husband is being a jerk but I still love him and think we could work things out if HE wanted. I already am in counseling have been since a few weeks before he left. We went to 1 session then he bailed I kept going.

Oh he knows he can see the girls I have rearranged my day for him several times and then he doesn't show or calls and says I will be late blah blah blah. Only person stopping him from spending time with them is him.

I also don't feel it is up to just one person to make sure birth control is used. There are various reasons certain methods might not work , health, religion, allergies, ect. Anyhow that is a whole different topic I could rant about LOL

For now No he can't take the girls anywhere. I am trying to get information on a place that you can drop your kids off and they monitor the visits. He is on probation for abusing our oldest daughter. I don't feel this new stress makes it less likey it will happen again if he is alone w/ all 3 girls to deal with. Heck even with 2 parents there are times it is hard to handle 3 small kids. Until I see evidence of the therapy/anger management group ect he has gone to I will keep it no alone visits. Right now I don't think any court would disagree with me either.

Men don't have to get screwed. I have a friend who she has the boy but the father got the good deal as her lawyer was profathers.

And sorry but his girls are his responsibility as much as mine wheather he likes it or not. A woman doesn't make the baby on her own (unless it was invetro or something and she was single). Society may accept that Mom just has to be with the kids but that is wrong. Dad should be there just as much. Same as if it is a mom who bails and leaves Dad w/ the kids. Both parents need to grow up and think of their kids and be there for them.

Letting you know the day of a activity is BS. Parents know things like that weeks/months in advance and she should be telling you.

All I know is I have been very nice but that will not keep going on. I have given him food, cooked for him, offered to help him find a job and a new place to stay and all I get in return is emails telling me how horrible I am and beating me up.

Divorce doesn't have to be beat the other person to a pulp. Is not it bad enough he already left me w/ 3 , 4 kids? No need to make my emotional state worse as well it hurts the kids and the baby. That is just selfishness as the only person that can gain anything from making another person upset is the one inflicting the pain.

Ok enough venting. I do appriciate (sp?) your thoughts though Micheal.

 

[ethicalsangel]

Wow, I so know what you are going through. I went through a pregnancy during a seperation. Shortly after the pregnancy, there was a divorce. I don't want to sound disappointing, but my ex didn't want another child, and you can't change a person if they don't want to change themselves. If he isn't going to the counseling with you, he is pretty much telling you that he doesn't want it to last. By telling you that he doesn't want to know about the baby, he is finding the thing that means the most to you right now and pulling you down. Question is, how long will you let him do it. If you want him involved, just stop telling him things, if he is like most people his curiosity will get the better of him.

 

[Geekbabe]

I cannot imagine your level of emotional pain and stress right now

Here's hoping your hubby works out the fears that are freaking him out right now and that he's able to be of some support to you soon.