Urban Legends from the Workplace

[XMan]

True: A guy used his company van to haul bales of pot. It was discovered when he was out on disability and another employee used his vehicle to get to a meeting, and wondered what the smell was.

Not sure: Supposedly another guy used his company van as a getaway car in a bank robbery.

100% true: A co-worker and I (both first shift guys) hit a strip club at about 6 on a Friday night. Who's sitting there but . . . one of the second-shift guys. second-shift at my company runs noon to 8.

100% true: A co-worker was having a relationship with a customer (both were single). Another customer found out about the relationship and complained to management, saying that the customer who was being slept with was getting better response times to trouble tickets than she was. Manager's response? "You can service your customers, just don't service your customers."

 

[GPett]

No matter how nice of a place you work.. there will always be some neanderthal that does not lift up the toilet seat and pisses all over the toilet.

 

[scott916]

When I was 17, I got my first job at CompUSA. There was always a rumor that one of the supervisors was low on cash a few years back and starred in two pornos. I always dismissed it as a story cooked up by one of the horny nerds there, but it actually turned out to be true. A coworker did some research and found the videos. PM me if you want to know the titles... :laugh:

 

[wahoyaho]

female supervisor? hottie?

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: scott916
When I was 17, I got my first job at CompUSA. There was always a rumor that one of the supervisors was low on cash a few years back and starred in two pornos. I always dismissed it as a story cooked up by one of the horny nerds there, but it actually turned out to be true. A coworker did some research and found the videos. PM me if you want to know the titles... :laugh:

Seriously, share the wealth.

 

[scott916]

She was cute, but she looked better when she did the films. PMs sent to wahoyaho and Sphexi.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: Bateluer
True: An Airman that worked at my workcenter a few years ago used to rest his genitals on the output port of a TACAN RT. That output port is capable of putting out lethal RF doses. His logic in doing this was to sterilize himself before going out to get laid on weekends. About a year ago, the same airman got in contact with an NCO at the workcenter. Seems he developed testicular cancer and was trying to sue the AF for compensation.

:Q If there was no "Danger, Will Robinson!" sign, he probably won.

Originally posted by: scott916
She was cute, but she looked better when she did the films. PMs sent to wahoyaho and Sphexi.

pics plz!

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Urban Legend: Probably somewhat common. Parking is hard to get at work. A new employee "stole" a parking spot from an older employee. The kid gets out and says, I'm young and fast. The older employee rams the young guys car and responds, "I'm old and have money". I think this is an urban legend.

TOWANDA!!!

 

[uallas5]

I work for a medical imaging center and the other day one of the other IT guys tells me "you gotta check out this image." Patient had come in complaining of stomach pain and the first thing I notice was about 1/2 dozen small nails in the intestinal area. Turns out this hadn't actually bothered her at all. It was the top half of a TOOTHBRUSH in her stomach that I hadn't noticed because the nails were so obvious.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: UberNeuman

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
Well...crazy stories...I have more than enough. I work in downtown Detroit in the emergency room as a nurse. Nuff said IMO.

Any weird "removal" stories?

"oh, i don't know how that got in there - i must have slipped and fallen on it!"

"Million to one shot doc... million to one"

 

[Parasitic]

Originally posted by: Sphexi

Originally posted by: scott916
When I was 17, I got my first job at CompUSA. There was always a rumor that one of the supervisors was low on cash a few years back and starred in two pornos. I always dismissed it as a story cooked up by one of the horny nerds there, but it actually turned out to be true. A coworker did some research and found the videos. PM me if you want to know the titles... :laugh:

Seriously, share the wealth.

This has educational values.
Share?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: UberNeuman

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
Well...crazy stories...I have more than enough. I work in downtown Detroit in the emergency room as a nurse. Nuff said IMO.

Any weird "removal" stories?

"oh, i don't know how that got in there - i must have slipped and fallen on it!"

"Million to one shot doc... million to one"

Fusilli (sp?) Jerry

hehe, that episode was on TV the other day.

 

[flexy]

i once worked at P****r Orings doing a VERY dumb job as a temp sorting, weighing and packaging orings.

We were told its very important to look at the labels and dont make mistakes(eg. mix up materials etc.) since this can lead to fatal consequences.

It was an oring which finally was the reason for Challenger to explode in the mid 80s.

I asked "WTF...and was P***** the company which manufactured the oring for the space shuttle ???"

I was told...yes...it was "P*****" who manufactured that oring...

From that day we were EXTRA careful

(well...not really a rumor....but related.....)

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: flexy
i once worked at P****r Orings doing a VERY dumb job as a temp sorting, weighing and packaging orings.

We were told its very important to look at the labels and dont make mistakes(eg. mix up materials etc.) since this can lead to fatal consequences.

It was an oring which finally was the reason for Challenger to explode in the mid 80s.

I asked "WTF...and was P***** the company which manufactured the oring for the space shuttle ???"

I was told...yes...it was "P*****" who manufactured that oring...

From that day we were EXTRA careful

(well...not really a rumor....but related.....)

really wondering what you typed that got censored out?

 

[flexy]

company's name

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: flexy
company's name

i figured that but i assumed the forum censored it automatically, like it does with swear words or other things.

so you censored it yourself?

 

[ViviTheMage]

I used to work at a cemetery and my boss told me many stories about working there, one stood out though...the one I saw the day after it happened.

This guy was very upset that is mother died, he grieved for days/months and on one of his mothers birthdays he up and decides to go to her location at the cemetery and try to take her plaque/headstone as you guys call them. I worked at a memorial cemetery, so the markers were in the ground, nothing was 'above' ground like you normally see in the movies...so we call them memorial markers.

back to the story, so the guy up and decides to CARRY this 500lbs+ granite marker , but with no luck, he starts dragging it to his car...apparently he must have fallen with it (we saw some blood in the snow and a large 'muffled' area in the snow...keeps walking with the thing and gets in his car, (nearly 150 feet from where it was originally installed (oddly, I was the one who installed it) and must have been bleeding bad, as there were lots of large blood splots everywhere up to the location of where is car was.

so, he must have gotten into his car with the marker on his LAP and drove off. The cops found the marker a few miles from our location and there was chunks of flesh in it (he must have pushed it off his lap on the side of the road and not realised that there was bolts on the bottom).

They found the guy eventually and he was charged with a felony (it is VERY illegal to steal a marker, not even we are allowed to remove a marker unless the county/state tells us to do so). He did indeed have large gashes on his thighs where he stupidly pushed the marker off his lap.


seond story!

That last story was mine and my bosses point of view, as I was there with him, but this one is just my bosses :

a drunk lady came into the cemetery one late night and drove all over the graves and hit and destroyed thousands of dollars worth of markers/wreaths (it was nearing Christmas)....long story short, she was drowned to death in the 'lake' nearby after driving into it.

I got ooodles more stories like this too and I only worked there for a little over a year

 

[thraashman]

Originally posted by: DeathBUA
Well...crazy stories...I have more than enough. I work in downtown Detroit in the emergency room as a nurse. Nuff said IMO.

I wonder if you know my Aunt.

 

[mugs]

There was an urban legend at my college that they had to change the pipes in the girls dorms every X years because of all of the bulimic girls. I didn't believe it. But there were very few fat girls at my college. I love spring.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: scott916
She was cute, but she looked better when she did the films. PMs sent to wahoyaho and Sphexi.

I'm pretty disappointed with the PM ...I was expecting links to actual vids, not just names of movies that I don't want people to see me renting from the back of the video store. I couldn't even find a picture of her with the name you gave me ...so sad I am.


Anyways, some good stories here, I got one from today at work, so not an urban legend but still funny:

I'm still in training, so I get to listen in to calls with customers that actual reps do. We had someone come into our classroom and take calls to show us how it worked, and the class listened in on speakerphone (muted so the customers couldn't hear us). One call was a woman (younger sounding, 20s to 30s) who had apparantly abused her phone in the past week or two, and racked up like 1800 some odd minutes, on a 900 minute plan. She was freaking out, and BEGGING this guy to help her out, I'm talking pleading and crying and saying stuff like "I'll do anything you say, I'll cook you dinner, I'll take you to the movies, hell I'll even suck your..." and so on, to avoid getting a $500+ bill this month. The guy was bright red in the face, because we were all sitting there just staring at him, waiting for his response. He ended up handling it well, even though she kept bubbling over like that more, and laying on the flirting pretty heavy, and he ended up fixing her problem so she wouldn't be paying hundreds of dollars on her next bill. Funniest stuff I've heard in quite a while.

 

[PottedMeat]

Originally posted by: flexy
i once worked at P****r Orings doing a VERY dumb job as a temp sorting, weighing and packaging orings.

We were told its very important to look at the labels and dont make mistakes(eg. mix up materials etc.) since this can lead to fatal consequences.

It was an oring which finally was the reason for Challenger to explode in the mid 80s.

I asked "WTF...and was P***** the company which manufactured the oring for the space shuttle ???"

I was told...yes...it was "P*****" who manufactured that oring...

From that day we were EXTRA careful

(well...not really a rumor....but related.....)

Sounds like they were just fcukin' with you - wasn't Morton Thiokol the company that made the O-Rings?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O-ring

 

[kranky]

We had union reps tell us it was stupid to work overtime because the taxes got so high you'd end up with less money than if you hadn't worked it at all. Some people actually believed it.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: PottedMeat

Originally posted by: flexy
i once worked at P****r Orings doing a VERY dumb job as a temp sorting, weighing and packaging orings.

We were told its very important to look at the labels and dont make mistakes(eg. mix up materials etc.) since this can lead to fatal consequences.

It was an oring which finally was the reason for Challenger to explode in the mid 80s.

I asked "WTF...and was P***** the company which manufactured the oring for the space shuttle ???"

I was told...yes...it was "P*****" who manufactured that oring...

From that day we were EXTRA careful

(well...not really a rumor....but related.....)

Sounds like they were just fcukin' with you - wasn't Morton Thiokol the company that made the O-Rings?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O-ring

Thiokol is quite a large company, perhaps it was a contractor that they used?

 

[funkymatt]

LOL

you'll make money as a "Technology Advisor"

so glad today's my last day. been rearranging the deck furniture on the Titanic.

 

[Linflas]

Originally posted by: Bateluer
True: An Airman that worked at my workcenter a few years ago used to rest his genitals on the output port of a TACAN RT. That output port is capable of putting out lethal RF doses. His logic in doing this was to sterilize himself before going out to get laid on weekends. About a year ago, the same airman got in contact with an NCO at the workcenter. Seems he developed testicular cancer and was trying to sue the AF for compensation.

Would like to see him have tried that trick on the HF radio antenna on the plane I worked on in the Navy. 1000 watts of toasty RF goodness.