Useful tips when dealing with telemarketers!

[Rightwinger]

Say you live in Indiana or Wisconsin, as those states have very restrictive DNC legislation

Tell the caller that the person they are soliciting is under 18. By law they are required to terminate the conversation.

Those have worked marvelously for me. Anyone else have good suggestions?

 

[Deeko]

Say 'fvck off you assfvckbitch'. Hang up.

 

[daclayman]

I actually load up: "Uncle Fvcker" from the South Park movie and leave the phone next to my speakers for the duration. Seems to work <shrug>

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: daclayman
I actually load up: "Uncle Fvcker" from the South Park movie and leave the phone next to my speakers for the duration. Seems to work <shrug>

That. Is. Awesome!

 

[amol]

"Hold on"

*leave the phone for 5 minutes and waste their time*

You're serving humanity

 

[Frosty3799]

you could always ask if they are on commission, and if yes and you are rather bored, let them talk your ear off/set the phone down and then not buy?

 

[Conky]

I just say "I'm hanging up now" and then hang up. Remarkably effective. :thumbsup:

 

[notfred]

Just hang up on anyone who asks for "Mr." followed by something that sounds nothing like my last name is supposed to sound.

 

[nageov3t]

why would you guys go through that kind of trouble? the only one you're griefing is some poor college kid trying to pay the beer bills. it's not like they have thw power to change anything that's pissing you off.

I just hang up the phone and move on with my life.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Just tell them Mr. <however they mispronounce it> does not live there anymore, and that they can now reach him on <phonenumber of the MPAA or RIAA>

 

[ELopes580]

Originally posted by: daclayman
I actually load up: "Uncle Fvcker" from the South Park movie and leave the phone next to my speakers for the duration. Seems to work <shrug>

LOL, I've done that.

 

[chrisms]

I usually ask them what they are wearing

 

[SketchMaster]

If I'm playing Counter-Strike I'll set the phone next to my speaker and keep playing.

But now I'm going try that south park idea.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Originally posted by: loki8481
why would you guys go through that kind of trouble? the only one you're griefing is some poor college kid trying to pay the beer bills. it's not like they have thw power to change anything that's pissing you off.

I just hang up the phone and move on with my life.

BAD ANALOGY

So, the Nazi soldiers behavior during WWII was OK as they were just "following orders", trying to get by? It's not like they had the power to change anything that pisses me off.

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: BurnItDwn

Originally posted by: loki8481
why would you guys go through that kind of trouble? the only one you're griefing is some poor college kid trying to pay the beer bills. it's not like they have thw power to change anything that's pissing you off.

I just hang up the phone and move on with my life.

BAD ANALOGY

So, the Nazi soldiers behavior during WWII was OK as they were just "following orders", trying to get by? It's not like they had the power to change anything that pisses me off.

you're right. that was a bad analogy

 

[imported_Phil]

It used to go something like this:

Coldcaller: "Good afternoon Phil, I'm calling on behalf of XYZ Bank"
Phil: "Is this in direct relation to my account?"
Coldcaller: "Well, we're calling about <fantastic deal>"
Phi: "No thanks"
Coldcaller: "Bye <etc>"

Now, it goes something like this:

Coldcaller: "Good afternoon Phil, I'm calling on behalf of XYZ Bank"
Phil: "Is this in direct relation to my account?"
Coldcaller: "Yes, <insert crappy offer thing here>"
Phil: :| "How does this affect the running of my account?"
Coldcaller: "blah blah £12 a month blah blah valued customer travel insurance donkey insurance credit card auto-signer tool I get paid to irritate people man love"
<slam phone down>

Gits :|

 

[Calin]

"Can I speak to Mr. laskdjfalsdf?"
"He's dead"

 

[GasX]

Debbie? I'm sorry but Debbie can't come to the phone right now because my dick's in her mouth...

 

[DivideBYZero]

CC: Do you need double glazing?
ME: Got it last week
CC: Sofits and Facias?
ME: Done
CC: Doors?
ME: Done.
CC: Gutters?
ME: Gold plated
CC: I can't sell you anything, can I?
ME: No.
*Click*

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Debbie? I'm sorry but Debbie can't come to the phone right now because my dick's in her mouth...

LOL

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: DivideBYZero
CC: Do you need double glazing?
ME: I live in a listed building.
CC: <click>

... is how you get rid of double-glazing companies.
Conservatory companies are much the same:

CC: Conservatory, bitch?
ME: Third-floor flat.
CC: Ah. <click>

Oh, and :laugh: at the original post :beer:

 

[metallibloke]

Originally posted by: Phil
... is how you get rid of double-glazing companies.
Conservatory companies are much the same:

CC: Conservatory, bitch?
ME: Third-floor flat.
CC: Ah. <click>

Yeah, I get this alot. Had real trouble trying to convice the daft cow on the phone that I couldnt have a conservatory even if I wanted one:

Me: Sorry, I live in a first floor flat.
Her: Well, thats ok, it would be fitted downstairs in your garden.
Me: I dont think the people who live downstairs would like me having a conservatory fitted to their flat, besides I dont even have a garden
...and so on.

Edit: I suck at the quoting!

 

[irwincur]

Tell them that it is a cell phone. Legally they cannot call cell phone numbers unless express permission is given. I do this all of the time - they are like, "really', "yes, f*cker", "bye".