Wedding planning blows *****'s *** ****.

[Sonikku]

Sounds like?

I couldn't find my thread I posted earlier.

He's a man baby. 34 years old, lives at home with mom, leases a lexus 'for mom' then drives it around himself, failed a business and owes my fiance 30K (you'll never see it), doesn't act brotherly at all (slept in his room while his little sister was moving out), etc.

Their dad passed away recently. He now says "I'm the man of the house & family" at his parents' home.

He thinks he's important and talks down to my fiancee like she's an idiot. "IT'S TOO FAR" "TOO EXPENSIVE". Yeah what a brother you are, why don't you pay her back that 30K, act like a real man, then you can talk.

Get. out. now.

 

[Phoenix86]

"Thanks for letting us know 90 minutes is too far, we'll adjust the count for catering"

 

[ZaneNBK]

My wife and I got married in CA several years back and planned the wedding about 6 months ahead of time, which is basically bare minimum in CA to have a real wedding. We went really cheap and managed to pull it off for around $2500 or so, most of that cost being for the venue and the officiant.

We let everyone know the date ~6 months ahead of time and everyone was fine. Three months before the wedding my best man tells me he can't make that date because his wife has to work, it's during tax time. My first response was of course, "What in the fuck are you talking about?" The audacity of someone in the wedding/attending the wedding asking you to reschedule after everything has been set is just beyond belief. On top of that he liked to gripe about how much money we were wasting because he got married in a side-room of a small church with like 10 people basically for free and had no reception.

Anyway, I told him that it wasn't even possible to reschedule at that point as deposits had been made, invitations ordered, etc... and he still didn't understand. He still gets mad when I bring it up and give him shit about it because I picked a new best man. What the hell else was I supposed to do jackass?

We're still really good friends I just know not to really rely on him for anything that would require him to leave his house.

 

[preslove]

OP, your mom has a point. You future bro-in-law is a douche.

'Church friends' only should be considered if you're an active member of the church, lol.

 

[gamefreakgcb]

Snip

Your avatar itself is a perfect response to your rant. I feel your pain because I just started planning my own wedding and the drama really sucks.

 

[dank69]

Not true. Wait until your first child is born.

Way overrated. My 9 month old daughter just sits on her ass all day doesn't even try to get a job.

 

[JimKiler]

My wife and I got married in CA several years back and planned the wedding about 6 months ahead of time, which is basically bare minimum in CA to have a real wedding. We went really cheap and managed to pull it off for around $2500 or so, most of that cost being for the venue and the officiant.

We let everyone know the date ~6 months ahead of time and everyone was fine. Three months before the wedding my best man tells me he can't make that date because his wife has to work, it's during tax time. My first response was of course, "What in the fuck are you talking about?" The audacity of someone in the wedding/attending the wedding asking you to reschedule after everything has been set is just beyond belief. On top of that he liked to gripe about how much money we were wasting because he got married in a side-room of a small church with like 10 people basically for free and had no reception.

Anyway, I told him that it wasn't even possible to reschedule at that point as deposits had been made, invitations ordered, etc... and he still didn't understand. He still gets mad when I bring it up and give him shit about it because I picked a new best man. What the hell else was I supposed to do jackass?

We're still really good friends I just know not to really rely on him for anything that would require him to leave his house.

He is a best man and he says he cannot go because his wife has to work? WTF? Does he have kids he has to watch while she is working? He is reasoning does not make sense.

 

[Staples]

Yes wedding planning sucks but it it were not for my wife who is all girly girly, I wouldn't have had a wedding, probably no marriage either. I think of the two as having no significance.

 

[mvbighead]

I did what some others have mentioned. Destination wedding. We hit up Puerto Vallarta at an all inclusive that was a grand total of less than $1500 for a 9 day vacation. Invited close family members, and had a group of about 20. Perfect day, and no one complained that it was too costly to go. There were someone who couldn't do it that wanted to, but they were more apologetic than rude.

To the OP, the availability of your parents and her parents matters. Everything else is an afterthought. 90 minutes is a short trip, and if there are several different people coming from that area, they can always arrange a carpool for convenience. If someone is unable to make it, a simple "Sorry to hear that" should suffice. There are FAR too many factors involved to try and consider EVERYONE's needs.

But by and large, this is you and your wife's time. Anyone who makes you feel bad about what options you picked is being a prick.

And as for your BIL, I can't even imagine how I'd react to someone like that. His opinion would be about the lowest on my list of considerations. Scratch that, his opinion wouldn't be on the list. I'd have a hard time not laughing in the face of a guy like that.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Marked for advice.

I just got engaged for new years. Looking to budget at $10k - slightly more, slightly less acceptable.

Also, this sucks balls because I only have 1 guy that I feel comfortable inviting as groomsmen/best man. Other than that, I don't have much to contribute =/. Any advice from people that don't have too many close friends on whom to get for bridesmaid/groomsmen?

 

[mvbighead]

Marked for advice.

I just got engaged for new years. Looking to budget at $10k - slightly more, slightly less acceptable.

Also, this sucks balls because I only have 1 guy that I feel comfortable inviting as groomsmen/best man. Other than that, I don't have much to contribute =/.

Seriously, if you don't do destination you should consider a smaller service. Moms and pops, closest friends. Keep it limited enough that people can't be upset about not being invited.

There are far better things to spend $10k on, IMO.

 

[Kelvrick]

Marked for advice.

I just got engaged for new years. Looking to budget at $10k - slightly more, slightly less acceptable.

Also, this sucks balls because I only have 1 guy that I feel comfortable inviting as groomsmen/best man. Other than that, I don't have much to contribute =/. Any advice from people that don't have too many close friends on whom to get for bridesmaid/groomsmen?

Start making friends. Male family members is usually an easy choice.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Seriously, if you don't do destination you should consider a smaller service. Moms and pops, closest friends. Keep it limited enough that people can't be upset about not being invited.

There are far better things to spend $10k on, IMO.

I'm marrying a Brazilian girl with a huge ass family..... soooo the whole "small intimate wedding" with close friends is kind of out the door with their culture D: I've already met her brothers, and for once I actually like the in-laws. I wouldn't mind if they were groomsmen, the only problem is most are married =/

I know, It sucks! I really wouldn't mind a shotgun wedding at the court house - or massively cutting it in general. Hell, the average wedding is something like $26k - so making of budget of $10k is already quite the cut.

We're also planning on doing it in a state that is on the east coast instead of the mid-west state we live in. That is because a lot of her (and part of my) family lives in that state, and practically none live in our state. The only reason she moved here is because of her job.


Anyone have any advice on the reception without a DJ? I really don't want to pay some fat fuck to sit there and play retarded dance songs for old people that everyone has known/heard. I just feel like it doesn't take much. Anyone else have good advice for saving money? Out of the context of a wedding - it's like that product/service costs X amount of dollars. But if you say that service and then add the word "Wedding" it then becomes 5x dollars.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Okay, so we really lucked out with a nice venue and catering. Surprisingly zero hassle. Great price, great staff, great venue, etc. We still have a lot to plan, but two big things are out of the way.

Surprisingly (or not, for those who got married), the sucky part comes from the drama. Because wedding is a milestone event, everyone gets sensitive & don't want to feel left out. I've always read about it, but I had no idea I wasn't special.

We found the venue and the date, and will be making the deposit tomorrow. The short-sighted me put the my date on my gmail chat status. Then my mom called me and got an earful from her because I didn't consult her at all or even ask if my own parents were free. D'oh. Stupid stupid me.

So I told my fiancee to call her mom quick. Her older brother picked up the phone. Holy Christ, out of nowhere he gets all dramatic because the venue is too far from his family & church friends (90 min drive). My fiancee said she's not picking a place to just please the distant church friends (her mom's friends really). Then he said you have to considerate and respectful.

Fuck that, it's her day of celebration. If the location is too far and it's 'inconveniencing' you, then don't come. That shows your level of your relationship.

I mean, we JUST started planning, and our first step is already a drama.

We have to tread carefully. No wonder there are reality shows about wedding drama on TV.

I wish we could just elope and go get hammered with close friends instead.

You have got to be kidding me. 90 minutes? So tell them not to come. Fuck heads. My family came from New York to California to be at my wedding.

 

[Elbryn]

as long as the future wife and you agree, you're good to go. that said we did a hybrid of sorts. we did a mini destination wedding in maine for close family who came on their own dime but wasn't overtly expensive like leaving the country for a resort.

then we gave the parent's options to setup their own local receptions if they wanted to for the "show off" purposes with them handling all those details. we show up for a few hours, smile like crazy, pretend to recognize the "This uncle tang, you remember him from 15 years ago that one time? his son george went to harvard and is a doctor!"

i loved what we did, we did what we wanted on our dime and let the parents have the chance to do whatever they wanted on theirs. we paid back costs with whatever gifts we were given at those receptions and went on our merry way.

of course, none of this stuff works if your fiance doesn't agree.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

My fiance's parents are broke So much for the whole "father of the bride" shit with our wedding

 

[mvbighead]

Anyone have any advice on the reception without a DJ? I really don't want to pay some fat fuck to sit there and play retarded dance songs for old people that everyone has known/heard. I just feel like it doesn't take much. Anyone else have good advice for saving money? Out of the context of a wedding - it's like that product/service costs X amount of dollars. But if you say that service and then add the word "Wedding" it then becomes 5x dollars.

This is indeed a problem.

For this side of things, the wife and I did a upscale brewery (where we met actually so it was a good story line) that had several rooms for big events. Rented out the whole basement, had about 100-120 guests, and I think I payed 2500ish for the whole deal. And when places are quoting you $50 a head, $20/person is a nice price to go with. Thing is, you just have to look around. Don't just think "Wedding reception." Honestly, the place we went to provided excellent service, a nice, modern, cozy atmosphere, plenty of tables and seating for everyone. It was much more family oriented than some DJ driven dance fest.

I am not much for the loud party scene, so that may change your outlook entirely.

 

[D1gger]

I'm marrying a Brazilian girl with a huge ass family.....

Lucky you, Brazilian girls with huge asses can be teh sexy!

 

[crashtestdummy]

Some advice my dad gave when we started to plan our wedding: "You're going to offend someone. There's no way around it, so don't bother trying to avoid it."

We got lucky. We had a pretty big wedding (around 200 people). Except for a list of friends they wanted invited, our families for the most part just let us be. (We did let them know the range of weekends we were looking at just in case they had a reason for a preference, though.) It also helped that my wife is super low drama and didn't really freak out at all.

Unless there was a huge event that your family had on that day that's on the scale of someone's wedding (like an expected birth), as long as you've given folks months of notice, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

If you think this is bad, though, just you wait until you send out the invitations, and distant relatives you've met twice in your life come out of the woodwork to complain they weren't invited. I would recommend finding one responsible older member of each of your families to look over the guest list, just in case you missed something big.

 

[Staples]

Marked for advice.

I just got engaged for new years. Looking to budget at $10k - slightly more, slightly less acceptable.

Also, this sucks balls because I only have 1 guy that I feel comfortable inviting as groomsmen/best man. Other than that, I don't have much to contribute =/. Any advice from people that don't have too many close friends on whom to get for bridesmaid/groomsmen?

Have any brothers? You just need an able body of the right sex. It is what I did.

 

[crownjules]

Anyone have any advice on the reception without a DJ? I really don't want to pay some fat fuck to sit there and play retarded dance songs for old people that everyone has known/heard. I just feel like it doesn't take much. Anyone else have good advice for saving money? Out of the context of a wedding - it's like that product/service costs X amount of dollars. But if you say that service and then add the word "Wedding" it then becomes 5x dollars.

Rent a speaker system. Hook up your iPod.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Lucky you, Brazilian girls with huge asses can be teh sexy!

Ohhhh believe me I know No matter what happens - even when dieting, the 2 important area's always remain :sneaky:

 

[RagingBITCH]

We had some of this with our wedding. Just do what you want. People will get over it and realize it's about you and your fiancée. If they don't, they're probably not the type of people you really care to know anymore.

This. Planning ours now - having it in Mexico instead of local. We didn't invite a ton of people, and there's already family that can't make it for various reasons. It's our day - if you can make it, great. Otherwise, see ya.

 

[laxie16]

Sounds like?

I couldn't find my thread I posted earlier.

He's a man baby. 34 years old, lives at home with mom, leases a lexus 'for mom' then drives it around himself, failed a business and owes my fiance 30K (you'll never see it), doesn't act brotherly at all (slept in his room while his little sister was moving out), etc.

Their dad passed away recently. He now says "I'm the man of the house & family" at his parents' home.

He thinks he's important and talks down to my fiancee like she's an idiot. "IT'S TOO FAR" "TOO EXPENSIVE". Yeah what a brother you are, why don't you pay her back that 30K, act like a real man, then you can talk.

You tell 'em, Ed Tom Bell.

 

[FelixDeCat]

I havent laughed this hard in a long time. Thanks OP! Oh, and have a great wedding.*



*=not being sarcastic.