weird request

[ric1287]

so to some up a long story, one of my friends is being an idiot, and decided to spit on the ground to show his hate for another friend of ours.

anyone have any other type of meaningless, old-school insults like that? I want to make fun of him relentlessly, but cant think of anything, any help appreciated.

 

[apac]

You can't come to my birthday party.

 

[ric1287]

hahah, yes. cant believe i forgot that one.

 

[Shawn]

<insult> This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
<comeback>And I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?

<insult> Soon you´ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
<comeback>First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.

<insult> My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
<comeback>So you got that job as janitor, after all.

<insult> People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
<comeback>Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

<insult> I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
<comeback>He must have taught you everything you know.

<insult> You make me want to puke.
<comeback>You make me think somebody already did.

<insult> Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will.
<comeback>You run THAT fast?

<insult> You fight like a dairy farmer.
<comeback>How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

<insult> I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
<comeback>I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose.

<insult> Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
<comeback>Why, did you want to borrow one?

<insult> I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
<comeback>Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all.

<insult> You´re no match for my brains, you poor fool.
<comeback>I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them.

<insult> You have the manners of a begger.
<comeback>I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me.

<insult> I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
<comeback>Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

<insult> There are no words for how disgusting you are.
<comeback>Yes there are. You just never learned them.

<insult> I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
<comeback>I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

 

[chuckywang]

I know you are, but what am I?

 

[andylawcc]

you fruitcake!

[after reading Shawn's post]

nvm. kthxba

 

[TecHNooB]

Your momma wears army boots!

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: TecHNooB
Your momma wears combat boots!

fixed

 

[rsd]

Originally posted by: Shawn
<insult> This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
<comeback>And I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?

<insult> Soon you´ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
<comeback>First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.

<insult> My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
<comeback>So you got that job as janitor, after all.

<insult> People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
<comeback>Even BEFORE they smell your breath?

<insult> I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
<comeback>He must have taught you everything you know.

<insult> You make me want to puke.
<comeback>You make me think somebody already did.

<insult> Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will.
<comeback>You run THAT fast?

<insult> You fight like a dairy farmer.
<comeback>How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

<insult> I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
<comeback>I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose.

<insult> Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
<comeback>Why, did you want to borrow one?

<insult> I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
<comeback>Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all.

<insult> You´re no match for my brains, you poor fool.
<comeback>I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them.

<insult> You have the manners of a begger.
<comeback>I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me.

<insult> I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
<comeback>Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?

<insult> There are no words for how disgusting you are.
<comeback>Yes there are. You just never learned them.

<insult> I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
<comeback>I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.

Wheee! Monkey Island

 

[ric1287]

the bday one is the only thing i can really use thus far. What did they do to humiliate people way back in the day. Thats what i need.

 

[Shawn]

I just gave you pirate insults. How much farther back to you want?

 

[Greenman]

Wouldn't it be easier to just hit him?

 

[Shawn]

Every enemy I have met, I?ve annihilated.
With your breath, I?m sure they all suffocated.

You?re as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
I look that much like your fiancee?

Killing you would be justifiable homicide.
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide.

You?re the ugliest monster ever created.
If you don?t count all the ones you?ve dated.

I?ll skewer you like a sow at a buffet.
When I?m done with you, you?ll be a boneless filet.

Would you like to be buried or cremated?
With you around, I?d rather be fumigated.

Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside.

When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
At least mine can be identified.

You can?t match my witty repartee.
I could, if you would use some breath spray.

I have never seen such clumsy swordplay.
You would have, but you were always running away.

En Garde! Touche!
Oh, that is so cliche.

Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated.
Too bad they?re all fabricated.

I can?t rest ?til you?ve been exterminated.
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.

I?ll leave you devastated, mutilated, and peforated.
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated and infuriated.

Heaven preseve me! You look like something that?s died!
The only way you?ll be preserved is in formaldehyde.

I?ll hound you night and day.
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!

 

[ric1287]

Originally posted by: Shawn
I just gave you pirate insults. How much farther back to you want?

haha, i mean like, say in pilgrim times when they would put you in front of the entire town and throw crap at you. Stuff like that, i guess more of actions than actual insults.

 

[Shawn]

Originally posted by: ric1287

Originally posted by: Shawn
I just gave you pirate insults. How much farther back to you want?

haha, i mean like, say in pilgrim times when they would put you in front of the entire town and throw crap at you. Stuff like that, i guess more of actions than actual insults.

You mean getting stoned to death? That's a bit different than insulting somebody.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: TecHNooB
Your momma wears combat boots!

fixed

I recall learning in 7th grade social studies that in some culture (I forget which), it is equally offensive to say your mother wears mirrors in her hair.

Yeah.

 

[mugs]

http://www.answers.com/thumb%20one's%20nose

 

[AreaCode707]

Thumbing your nose and sticking out your tongue were childish insults in colonial times, things bad enough to get you in trouble if you were caught, or start fights with other kids.

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: rsd
Wheee! Monkey Island

Best game ever.

 

[Quasmo]

Bite you thumb at him

 

[ric1287]

Originally posted by: Shawn

Originally posted by: ric1287

Originally posted by: Shawn
I just gave you pirate insults. How much farther back to you want?

haha, i mean like, say in pilgrim times when they would put you in front of the entire town and throw crap at you. Stuff like that, i guess more of actions than actual insults.

You mean getting stoned to death? That's a bit different than insulting somebody.

haha, not quite that bad. Like tomatoes and stuff. They would sit in that thing (forgot what its called) with their arms and head through the holes, and people would mock them for days.

 

[nakedfrog]

I bite my thumb, sir.

 

[skyking]

I fart in your general direction.

 

[everman]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

[Aluvus]

Originally posted by: ric1287
haha, not quite that bad. Like tomatoes and stuff. They would sit in that thing (forgot what its called) with their arms and head through the holes, and people would mock them for days.

The stocks.