Well I just got fired

benzylic

Golden Member
Jun 12, 2006
1,547
1
0
A couple months ago I was on my shift in the ER at the hospital where I work. This women came in vomiting and complaining of stomach pains. Now I'm generally not the kind of person to jump the gun, but from the first few seconds of walking into exam room 3 I just knew that this lady had stomach cancer.

So we ran a few tests and I turned out to be correct. We decided to skip running other tests (this turned out to be a bad idea later on). We started her out on chemo pretty soon after the diagnosis. She had surgery and everything was going just dandy. She was then scanned to see if there were any remaining cancer cells, and during the scan they find out shes been pregnant the whole time. I'm like what the fuck, run that scan again. So they scanned her three more times, and shes was pregnant each time, and I'm freaking out, because this baby is going to be messed up.

So the lady and the asian guy she had a one night stand with decide to have the baby, and miraculously this baby comes out with the appropriate number of limbs and appendages. The baby looks fine now but what about 5 years down the road. The baby was exposed to a metric shit ton of radiation, like Chernobyl levels of radiation.

For some reason they aren't suing us (does this make sense to anyone? Realistically they could get millions in malpractice lawsuits). The hospital has decided to terminate my employment to distance themselves from me. So I'm the fall guy. Needless to say I'm a bit pissed right now.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,014
137
106
How did you know she had a one-night stand with an Asian guy? Was that on her chart?
 

gorcorps

aka Brandon
Jul 18, 2004
30,740
452
126
do you think they'll take away my 'report post' button if I use it to report such a shitty parody?
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
12
56
A couple months ago I was on my shift in the ER at the hospital where I work. This women came in vomiting and complaining of stomach pains. Now I'm generally not the kind of person to jump the gun, but from the first few seconds of walking into exam room 3 I just knew that this lady had stomach cancer.

So we ran a few tests and I turned out to be correct. We decided to skip running other tests (this turned out to be a bad idea later on). We started her out on chemo pretty soon after the diagnosis. She had surgery and everything was going just dandy. She was then scanned to see if there were any remaining cancer cells, and during the scan they find out shes been pregnant the whole time. I'm like what the fuck, run that scan again. So they scanned her three more times, and shes was pregnant each time, and I'm freaking out, because this baby is going to be messed up.

So the lady and the asian guy she had a one night stand with decide to have the baby, and miraculously this baby comes out with the appropriate number of limbs and appendages. The baby looks fine now but what about 5 years down the road. The baby was exposed to a metric shit ton of radiation, like Chernobyl levels of radiation.

For some reason they aren't suing us (does this make sense to anyone? Realistically they could get millions in malpractice lawsuits). The hospital has decided to terminate my employment to distance themselves from me. So I'm the fall guy. Needless to say I'm a bit pissed right now.
I give you an "E" for effort. :thumbsup:
And actually, putting it in this perspective just further makes the original thread look suspect.
 
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