Well, the thing I feared the most has finally happened - UPDATE

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Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
yeah, no, I'm confident she has not.

And oh, she just reminded me she's 14, not 15. Oh crap, maybe I don't know my daughter as well as I thought.

Yep. Odds are that she's probably already had a sexual experience of some type. Remember, it's not just boys that want it.
 

Farang

Lifer
Jul 7, 2003
10,914
3
0
The ewwww is real, but it's not about kissing the boy. The ewwww is because Dad is talking about kissing.

My daughter is 12. We've agreed she'll wait until she graduates college before she starts to date.

That is horrible.. college is the best time to find a spouse. After college it's all the leftovers becoming fuck buddies (I'm one of them) and calling it 'dating.'

OP 14-15 year olds who go on dates have sex. The 14-15 year olds you're thinking of that don't have sex are the ones without boyfriends or girlfriends. Might as well get thick skin now because assuming you're in America she'll be banging a lot of dudes over the next 10 years then if you're lucky find a husband
 

OBLAMA2009

Diamond Member
Apr 17, 2008
6,574
3
0
That is horrible.. college is the best time to find a spouse. After college it's all the leftovers becoming fuck buddies (I'm one of them) and calling it 'dating.'

OP 14-15 year olds who go on dates have sex. The 14-15 year olds you're thinking of that don't have sex are the ones without boyfriends or girlfriends. Might as well get thick skin now because assuming you're in America she'll be banging a lot of dudes over the next 10 years then if you're lucky find a husband

plus, if he doesnt let he experiment now it will lead to lifelong resentment, "daddy" issues with men, and likely acting out later in life. i say get that chick on birth control and let her spread her.....wings...
 
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Spungo

Diamond Member
Jul 22, 2012
3,217
2
81
I don't mean to attack anyone in this thread but men are idiots. I'm sorry but you really are. A man could say all of these things and not understand how all of them are connected:

"I'm going to murder my daughter and her boyfriend if they have sex before marriage. I've been telling her since age 5 that sex is evil and it makes her a bad girl and she will burn in hell for it."

"Why are women such stuck up bitches? They won't have sex until they've dated for 3 months and they expect me to buy all these gifts to show how much I care about them. Why can't they just enjoy sex for the sake of having sex? It should be casual fun like going bowling or playing video games. It's not a marriage proposal."

"I could never date a slut like Amanda. I heard she sleeps with pretty much every guy on the first or second date. I like it when women don't enjoy sex at all because then it feels like a gift or a reward and they are doing it just to show how much they like me."

"My wife has no sex drive and it's killing our marriage. I keep thinking about other women but I don't want to cheat on her. What do I do?"


You could start by being consistent for once in your damn life
 

wirednuts

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2007
7,121
4
0
You could start by being consistent for once in your damn life

i agree. the more you try to interfere with your kids personal dating life (at 15, yes, its personal to them), the more you risk losing their respect.

i was raised by the "dont ever have sex, dont talk to girls. dont get married. just do your school work and get good grades"

i of course listened, as many kids try to do. then, suddenly, its "why arent you married? why dont you date this girl?" and all i want to do is everything except talk to them about it.

very frustrating as a teen, and it made me lose a lot of credibility in my parents. they should have just said "whatever you do, dont make a baby". it would have been a lot better....
 

BUTCH1

Lifer
Jul 15, 2000
20,433
1,769
126
The ewwww is real, but it's not about kissing the boy. The ewwww is because Dad is talking about kissing.

My daughter is 12. We've agreed she'll wait until she graduates college before she starts to date.

What?, do you actually think your daughter is going to wait to 22-23yrs old before showing interest in the opposite sex?, you just can't shut off hormones, it doesn't work like that..
 

GTaudiophile

Lifer
Oct 24, 2000
29,776
31
81
She's going to get fingered. At least.

Probably not...yet.

But yeah, she has hormones too. At some level at some point, she's going to want to explore sexually. CPA probably doesn't want her to go to college completely unprepared for the pressures she will face there.

Intimidation and threats does not prepare a young adult for these pressures that she will face. CPA, his wife, and their daughter should ideally (IMO) have an open, loving atmosphere at home where no subject is off the table. Ideally, she sees her parents in a loving, stable relationship and sees them maintaining a romantic atmosphere X years into marriage.

Ideally, she can come to them with any question about any concern or topic, be it religion, death, politics, finance, sex, drugs, alcohol, friendships, relationships, life goals, aspirations, dreams, etc.

And ideally, CPA and his wife have empowered their daughter with knowledge about all aspects of sex: the basic mechanics, puberty, hormones, chemical imbalance, birth control methods and accessibility, mood swings, abortion, the economics of pregnancy, relationships, love, sex for procreation, sex for fun, sex as a tool of manipulation by men, sex as a means of getting love and attention for women when the man has no intention of providing either...and even, dare I say, orgasms, masturbation, pleasure, and the fact that it's HER body of which she is in full control and that anything sexual is something that happens only when she wants it to.
 

TeeJay1952

Golden Member
May 28, 2004
1,540
191
106
I once had a co worker scream at me because I asked him "Do you want your daughters to marry the first person they blow?" It seems like an infuriating question but it is real. When your kids get older you have to be prepared for them to have a sex life. I was trying to show him the difference in the way he thought about his girls versus his boys.
 

BladeVenom

Lifer
Jun 2, 2005
13,540
16
0
OP 14-15 year olds who go on dates have sex. The 14-15 year olds you're thinking of that don't have sex are the ones without boyfriends or girlfriends. Might as well get thick skin now because assuming you're in America she'll be banging a lot of dudes over the next 10 years then if you're lucky find a husband

16 is the average age people start having sex. Soon after they get their driver's license.
 

brainhulk

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2007
9,418
454
126
I remember when I used to sneak into my old girlfriends bedroom when she was 15 in high school. I hid in the hamper many times.

check the hamper!
 

Jaskalas

Lifer
Jun 23, 2004
33,595
7,654
136
Quiet you, she's a good girl.

Why is it "good" to deny biological needs? As you have a child, you're clearly not ignorant of what those needs are, or of fulfilling them. Do not deny her the same privilege of living and being human.
 

CPA

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
30,322
4
0
Why is it "good" to deny biological needs? As you have a child, you're clearly not ignorant of what those needs are, or of fulfilling them. Do not deny her the same privilege of living and being human.

Yes.
 

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,647
27
91
I once had a co worker scream at me because I asked him "Do you want your daughters to marry the first person they blow?" It seems like an infuriating question but it is real. When your kids get older you have to be prepared for them to have a sex life. I was trying to show him the difference in the way he thought about his girls versus his boys.

Who the hell asks a co-worker this kind of question? WTF?
 

madoka

Diamond Member
Jun 22, 2004
4,344
712
121
I'm willing to bet 90%+ of those saying that she should be allowed to fool around never had a daughter. :whiste:
 

Ruptga

Lifer
Aug 3, 2006
10,247
207
106
Who the hell asks a co-worker this kind of question? WTF?

The kind of person with ignorant talkative coworkers? They probably came in "rackum frackum I caught my daughter kissing" and he either couldn't or didn't dodge the conversation.

There comes a point in most heavy conversations where the best thing is to piss them off. It is a last resort that generally either makes them realize the absurdity of their position or makes them walk away. Sometimes they scream before walking away, but they normally leave you alone after.

I'm willing to bet 90%+ of those saying that she should be allowed to fool around never had a daughter. :whiste:

It is probably more like 80%

And who gives a shit? Experience is valuable, but so are objective opinions. Further, most of that 80% were young a lot more recently than the 20% with daughters, particularly those with mature daughters. We learn plenty through our own lives, particularly through our and our parents' mistakes.

Implying your opinions on parenting aren't valid until you've screwed at least one kid up through ignorance is just... ignorant.
 
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BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
63,440
11,763
136
No one's a natural. That takes work. HARD work.

Maybe...just maybe...and I'm merely speculating here...but maybe she needs a...mature, experienced fellow to show her the ropes, instead of merely wrestling around with a boy who doesn't know his way around a va-jay-jay...:whiste:
 

Ruptga

Lifer
Aug 3, 2006
10,247
207
106
Maybe...just maybe...and I'm merely speculating here...but maybe she needs a...mature, experienced fellow to show her the ropes, instead of merely wrestling around with a boy who doesn't know his way around a va-jay-jay...:whiste:

It wouldn't do her any good if she blocks the entire event out of her memory.
 

AmdEmAll

Diamond Member
Aug 27, 2000
6,688
2
81
Maybe...just maybe...and I'm merely speculating here...but maybe she needs a...mature, experienced fellow to show her the ropes, instead of merely wrestling around with a boy who doesn't know his way around a va-jay-jay...:whiste:

 
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