Don Vito Corleone
Elite
- Feb 10, 2000
- 30,029
- 66
- 91
There are some pretty good reviews for the dress at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Roman-Women...dp/B00SJEUCWU?tag=jusjar05-20#customerReviews -
Robbed a bank in this dress. Nobody could agree on a proper description of me. Sketch artist's head exploded. Got away. Fantastic.
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The good: Works equally well as formal or business casual attire.
The bad: Carves a crooked path through perceptual reality and leaves behind it a wake of confusion and existential crises. Also unforgiving on the hips.
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As an eye doctor, I placed this dress on display outside my office, and business went through the roof!
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This dress made me realize that reality is a meaningless fiction and all of life is merely a grand cosmic suggestion. I returned it and got something cuter.
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A dress you can be both married (white+gold) and buried (black+blue) in. Highly recommended.
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This dress has seen the rise and fall of empires. Father and son pitted against one another in fierce battle, driven mad by the mystery surrounding it. Much more so than the mighty empire that inspired its namesake, this dress is truly an unbeatable force, against whom no man-made civilisation may ever be adequately fortified.
Not too long ago I myself thought, in the height of foolishness, that I might seek out such a power and attempt to capture it for my own. I will not attempt to communicate to you the indescribable terror of the events that ensued from such naïvety, as their just descriptors lie immeasurably far outside the grasp of man's language and comprehension alike, suffice it to say that the ancient poets have penned epic upon epic detailing the consequences of such hubris, but I have failed to learn from them. I was once a noble knight, oft preceded by tales of my might and valour. Now I am but a mere peasant, unfit to wield even a dagger.
Some say this dress is of The Almighty Himself - a gift meant to reward one with unquantifiable strength and wealth. Others say it is an omen - a sign that our days of prosperity and gaiety are approaching a swift and bitter end. Others still, contend it is nothing more than the creation of a mad god who, in search of morbid amusement, cruelly passed it onto man simply to delight in the chaos and bloodshed that would ensue as nation upon nation crumbled in its wake.
I am not a philosopher, nor a theologian - in the days preceding my encounter with this weapon of such awesome power and unknowable origin, perhaps I could have aspired to such a title but alas, now I am barely fit to call myself a man - but a vessel, now fit only to pass on the tale of this... thing. This wonderful, mighty, horrible thing that has mysteriously and spontaneously echoed out from the Æther and found its way into our humble, trembling existence. Yet, reduced and flawed as I am, the one thing keeping me going - the one remaining "calling" holding my spirit and body together as one - is to deliver this warning: Tempt yourself not with its allure, brave young man, for you could one day end up just as the broken soul before you.
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I bought my wife this white and gold dress, only to have her tell me she sees it as blue and black. Beginning to wonder if I paid too much for her wedding ring.