The Bitch x64: Formerly The Bitch II. Main computer. I have a habit of bringing out the fickleness of computers, ergo "The Bitch". "WORK, YOU BITCH!!!" Erm... yeah, I'll stop giving examples now. And yes, I really do talk to my computers.
PoSLappy: A Compaq Presario 700. Yes, you may shudder now. No, my laptop's name isn't "Po Slappy", it's "P.O.S. Lappy". The laptop is the focus of one of my longest running jokes: I "liberated" it from work, and by "liberated" I mean "stole". The statement has a grain of truth in it; it does technically belong to my Dad's company, was Dad's lappy for a while. However, due to the fact that it's a Compaq -- and was a floor model at that -- it's not the most reliable of things. Dad spent about 25% of the time he had the thing getting me to fix it. Finally he decided that since I was the only one who could seem to keep the thing running for any length of time I should be the one who used it, gave it to me and bought himself a nice Dell lappy. This was particularly welcome, since not having a computer to use at school was a little frustrating.
Optidoom: A complete Dell Optiplex I purchased for $50 from a link in Hot Deals. I had no clue what to do with it, I just knew that I could do something. At one point I decided to make a legacy gaming machine to run games like Doom. Optiplex + Doom = Optidoom. I changed my mind though, and turned it into a gameserver. It's what runs my Tribes 1 server at the moment.
Ivan-333: I used to have a Ukranian roomie named Ivan; Ivan was without a computer, and I had an old K6-II I was turning into a legacy gaming machine. I let Ivan keep it in his room, even got him hooked on Blood 2 and Carmageddon.
Compy95: A "new" addition to the network, I got this from a friend at UNR who is spending this summer in New York and had no place to store the computer. Once his girlfriend -- the owner of the computer who is the reason why he's going to New York -- realized she had no real reason to keep the damn thing she gave it and all of the peripherals it came with to me. (I have way too many scanners at my place now) I needed to give it a network name to log it onto the Token Ring network I was trying to set up (I like fiddling with old stuff sometimes) and since I'd been watching Strong Bad Email a little while ago the name popped into my head. (It's running Win95, floppy edition) I'll probably rename it.