What do u do when ur girl farts on ur lap?

[Vonkhan]

my girl has a wierd problem, she farts crazy after funny food like brocolli, grapes, cheese, dry fruits, etc.

normally, i dont care since she runs to the other corner of the room with a big grin

however, there are times wen she's sitting on my lap ... and she lets loose i can actually feel the warm air hitting my thigh. she refuses to get up and claims that she didn't know that there was one coming ... and it smells like something died in hell

any solutions other than a butt plug with an air-freshner filter ... and no, i'm not dumping her - the sex is great

 

[dighn]

...

 

[Zim Hosein]

Breath deeply!

 

[MartyMcFly3]

wtf?!?!

 

[axelfox]

Whats so funny about those foods?

 

This thread rivals the one in my sig.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Pics first

 

[Kelvrick]

Figure the way is clear and plug it.

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: Kelvrick
Figure the way is clear and plug it.

:Q

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: Kelvrick
Figure the way is clear and plug it.

 

[waggy]

hahah laugh and let one rip yourself and ask her to beat that!

 

[bootymac]

/me remembers the thread with limericks about farting

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After lying in bed for a few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
"Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about ten minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown! I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Now starting to get into it, the wife quickly farts again and says "Touchdown, tie score."

He can't fart! So, not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has, trying for one more fart.
Straining real hard, the old man sh!ts in the bed.
The wife asks, "What in the hell was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time . . . switch sides."

http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.cfm?catid=38&threadid=1119713&FTVAR_MSGDBTABLE=arc
Thanks Brutuskend!

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: AgaBooga
An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After lying in bed for a few minutes the old man cuts a fart and says, "Seven points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
"Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about ten minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown! I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Now starting to get into it, the wife quickly farts again and says "Touchdown, tie score."

He can't fart! So, not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has, trying for one more fart.
Straining real hard, the old man sh!ts in the bed.
The wife asks, "What in the hell was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time . . . switch sides."

http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.cfm?catid=38&threadid=1119713&FTVAR_MSGDBTABLE=arc
Thanks Brutuskend!

heh eww!

 

[cheapgoose]

can you still get banned for saying dtb? i like the plugging idea.

 

[AFB]

Is this a parody thread ?

 

[bootymac]

Dutch oven

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: bootymac
Dutch oven

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein

Originally posted by: bootymac
Dutch oven

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[brxndxn]

Was she the fat kid in gym class who always farted when she ran? There was always one in my classes.


Dude, seriously, she's showing you up. You are the man and she's outfarting you. You gotsta eat some beans or something so that you can blow her away. She'll quit farting so proudly when you blow a hole in your pants right in front of her. Seriously dude.. letting a girl out fart you - there's gotta be something wrong with you.

 

[ElFenix]

so she likes the butt sex huh?

 

[Kadarin]

Worst YAGT evar!

(Outside of TGG, of course..)

 

Stick your penis in her butt.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

That's just wrong :disgust:

 

[Voip]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Stick your penis in her butt.

Quoted for truth?