What I learned watching Columbo:

[shortylickens]

1 - Shut the fuck up.



No really, thats it. Thats all you have to do.
Cops are fucking stupid. The only way they can catch you is if you flat out tell them you are guilty.
Dont explain anything. Over explaining leaves holes. Dont volunteer. Dont act too nice or helpful. Dont offer food, coffee, matches, or beer. Dont answer any questions directly. Act stupid. Annoy the fuck out of him with retarded answers until HE decides to leave. If you push him out the door he knows he has to come back and ask more questions, or snoop around.

And even with a smoking gun in your hand dont admit it.
Stay quiet, get a lawyer, you will go free. They can never get their shit together fast enough for a proper conviction.

 

[disappoint]

What I learned watching TV. TV is for entertainment. Not education.

Glad TV entertained you for a while.

Next up: CSI

Zoom enhance and do the TV dance.

There's a joke about transvestites in there somewhere.

 

[dr150]

Columbo is a great show. :thumbsup:

Sadly they don't make shows like that any more.

As a kid, I also like watching Kolchak...

 

[disappoint]

Telly on the telly.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Alternatively, you can just make sure that you kill your blackmailing and/or unattractive wife in Tijuana instead of Los Angeles.

Note: Moroccan embassies are still risky business.

 

[acheron]

Also, if you need to figure out who committed the crime, it was probably the famous guest star.

 

[unokitty]

1 - Shut the fuck up...
And even with a smoking gun in your hand dont admit it.
Stay quiet, get a lawyer, you will go free. They can never get their shit together fast enough for a proper conviction.

Sounds like you and Robert Blake learned the same thing.

Of course, you can always ask then, what did you learn from Baretta?

Uno

 

[waggy]

1 - Shut the fuck up.



No really, thats it. Thats all you have to do.
Cops are fucking stupid. The only way they can catch you is if you flat out tell them you are guilty.
Dont explain anything. Over explaining leaves holes. Dont volunteer. Dont act too nice or helpful. Dont offer food, coffee, matches, or beer. Dont answer any questions directly. Act stupid. Annoy the fuck out of him with retarded answers until HE decides to leave. If you push him out the door he knows he has to come back and ask more questions, or snoop around.

And even with a smoking gun in your hand dont admit it.
Stay quiet, get a lawyer, you will go free. They can never get their shit together fast enough for a proper conviction.

well. actually that's good advice.

 

[shortylickens]

What I learned watching TV. TV is for entertainment. Not education.

 

[manimal]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

watch this. dont agree to speak. Dont offer any information. Dont explain yourself. Countless people have incriminated themselves by getting caught in a lie/half truth and that in some cases was a worse offense than what they were in for.


While the cops may sometimes be inept the district attorney is not.

 

[Jeeebus]

Cops are fucking stupid. The only way they can catch you is if you flat out tell them you are guilty.

What you said is true to some extent, but I think the more reasonable and likely explanation (from what I have witnessed in my practice) is that cops are lazy and uninterested in anything that requires initiative.

If they roll up and see you with the stolen goods in hand or a face full of cocaine, you're getting arrested.

If you go down to the station with a pile of paperwork showing how an employee has been stealing thousands from you - their eyes will roll over in their head and nothing will ever happen.

Which is why the "don't talk to police" is so important. Absent admitting your crime, it is very unlikely you're ever being arrested for it.

 

[DigDog]

or, alternatively, cops know that you are - like anyone else - potentially guilty; you could be guilty of one of thousands of possible crimes, and thousand more ways to commit it, but unless you provide them with some clue, they won't have 1) the desire or 2) the urgency to find out which one of these;

so yeah, stfu.

 

[shortylickens]

The other thing is talking to him without a lawyer. Just tell him to go away and come back with a warrant, call your attorney before he gets back.

 

[pmv]

Its taught me that class conflict is an issue in America too - but it works a bit differently than elsewhere.

The reason the guilty in Columbo blab too much is because our 'ordinary Joe' scruffy blue-collar cop is always disastrously underestimated by the highly-educated, patronising elitist perp.

The same undertone is in Die Hard as well.

 

[IronWing]

I learned that you don't have to be naked under a trench coat.

 

[grohl]

Loved those shows

 

[highland145]

Local school teacher was stabbed (many times) to death in 2007. The son, who has had some serious disciplinary issues, is the prime suspect. He lawyered up immediately. No charges have been filed

 

[rudeguy]

"I fully intend to cooperate with your investigation. However I wish to remain silent until my lawyer is present. Would you like some coffee for the road?"

 

[JTsyo]

1 - Shut the fuck up.



No really, thats it. Thats all you have to do.
Cops are fucking stupid. The only way they can catch you is if you flat out tell them you are guilty.
Dont explain anything. Over explaining leaves holes. Dont volunteer. Dont act too nice or helpful. Dont offer food, coffee, matches, or beer. Dont answer any questions directly. Act stupid. Annoy the fuck out of him with retarded answers until HE decides to leave. If you push him out the door he knows he has to come back and ask more questions, or snoop around.

And even with a smoking gun in your hand dont admit it.
Stay quiet, get a lawyer, you will go free. They can never get their shit together fast enough for a proper conviction.

I disagree. If you kill someone, just admit it. You did the crime and now it's time to pay the time. Don't waste everyone's time and money trying to prove you're guilty or let let some innocent guy take the fall.

 

[IronWing]

I disagree. If you kill someone, just admit it. You did the crime and now it's time to pay the time. Don't waste everyone's time and money trying to prove you're guilty or let let some innocent guy take the fall.

If suspect did that, the show would be over before the first commercial break.

 

[JTsyo]

If suspect did that, the show would be over before the first commercial break.

Then I could have got the TV back from my dad. Worse was baseball, he used to put on the game and then fall asleep in the 2nd or 3rd inning.

 

[shortylickens]

Then I could have got the TV back from my dad. Worse was baseball, he used to put on the game and then fall asleep in the 2nd or 3rd inning.

thats why I gave my mom the Netflix login, and Amazon too. She can watch on her computer, or the TV, or even at work if she's really bored.
I can watch on my phone, my desktop, or my laptop. We dont have to fight for the TV.

Modern technology is awesome.

 

[lxskllr]

I learned that you don't have to be naked under a trench coat.

But it's more fun being naked. Especially with a sausage tied to your wiener.

 

[marvdmartian]

#1 rule, that most honest cops will tell you, is shut up and lawyer up. Or say whatever you want, BEFORE they Miranda you, then shut up and lawyer up!

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

well. actually that's good advice.

Also KISS.