What is the most delicate way of telling someone you will help them out financially?

[RbSX]

Hi Guys,

I almost think this belongs in L&R but I'm going to take a stab at it here. I'm planning a trip to Napa Valley for my girlfriend's birthday, and I know it would mean the world to have her mother there.

I sent her mother an email to invite her, and she's invited her husband as well (great).

Anyways they aren't that well off financially and at the end of her email she sent this:

It is such a nice thought and sounds like a blast! Who else are you inviting besides me and [insert name here]? Getting away is tough for us, and I am planning on coming to [insert city here] sometime in the spring, so I don't know if I could pull off both trips....

While it doesn't explicitly say that they can't afford it, I know that they are going through some fairly dire times. What's the nicest way of saying I can help them out?

One of the things that has really hurt my relationship with her and her parents is the simple fact that I can pretty much do whatever I want because of my job, and the fact that I come from a family with some money. I don't want this to look like I'm pitying them or anything, I just sincerely want to help.

 

[2Xtreme21]

Buy them the tickets and email them the confirmation?

 

[amdhunter]

Just tell the the trips on you?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Just tell the the trips on you?

yes. "my treat"

 

[RbSX]

Just tell the the trips on you?

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

My girlfriend and my combined airfare taxes in is 360.. to fly both her parents down is 675.

 

[Kntx]

Wait a minute. What you are saying is: You want your girlfriend's mother to come with you on vacation?

 

[skyking]

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

My girlfriend and my combined airfare taxes in is 360.. to fly both her parents down is 675.

Then MYOB. IF you can't easily spring for both you are just looking for a world of hurt.

 

[Aharami]

Then MYOB. IF you can't easily spring for both you are just looking for a world of hurt.

not necessarily. He's offering to help, not pay for their whole trip. Mention that what if you pick up the tab for one airfare, would that make it easier for both of them to come?

 

[krylon]

pics of your gf?

 

[Hacp]

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

My girlfriend and my combined airfare taxes in is 360.. to fly both her parents down is 675.

Wait, I thought you said that your financial situation allowed you to do whatever you wanted. I guess not?

 

[darkxshade]

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

My girlfriend and my combined airfare taxes in is 360.. to fly both her parents down is 675.

I've never heard of someone who was financially better off unable to afford $315. Not knocking you for your generosity at all or anything but I was just under the impression that while any help is better than no help at all, this a big vacation and taking say $20 burden off their shoulders isn't exactly much help at all considering the entire cost of the trip, they could pretty much save that by just skipping a meal.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Why would she bother inviting her husband if she has no intention of coming?

 

[joesmoke]

"Your presence and delightful company would be the only expenditures required on your part if you decide to join us. Hope you can make it!"

though in this case it sounds like they may be politefully declining

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Just say that if airfare is a problem, consider it your treat. Don't make it sound like you're paying for the whole vacation - make it sound like the pleasure of their company is worth your paying for it.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

Hi Guys,

I almost think this belongs in L&R but I'm going to take a stab at it here. I'm planning a trip to Napa Valley for my girlfriend's birthday, and I know it would mean the world to have her mother there.

I sent her mother an email to invite her, and she's invited her husband as well (great).

Anyways they aren't that well off financially and at the end of her email she sent this:



While it doesn't explicitly say that they can't afford it, I know that they are going through some fairly dire times. What's the nicest way of saying I can help them out?

One of the things that has really hurt my relationship with her and her parents is the simple fact that I can pretty much do whatever I want because of my job, and the fact that I come from a family with some money. I don't want this to look like I'm pitying them or anything, I just sincerely want to help.

I would probably say that i can get their tickets for free (you're born with an imagination i'm sure, make something up if they ask why) and just go buy them.

Also, good on ya for being a nice guy who cares about family.

 

[SnipeMasterJ13]

"No worries, I'll make it rain!" Then start shelling bills into the air.

Note - This will work best if in person.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

My girlfriend and my combined airfare taxes in is 360.. to fly both her parents down is 675.

Oh, so you have a job paying you good money and you can do whatever you want, high roller and all that bullsheit?

But you can't spend 675.

Are you working at McDonalds?

675 DOLLARS is pocket change. I've probably lost more than that on one night out and twice that paying for the night out, three times that paying for the aftermath.

 

[BoberFett]

I can pretty much do whatever I want because of my job, and the fact that I come from a family with some money.

I would if it was just her mother, I can't afford both of them.

Does not compute

 

[HardcoreRobot]

you are the only poster i know that could try and make drama out of this

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

not necessarily. He's offering to help, not pay for their whole trip. Mention that what if you pick up the tab for one airfare, would that make it easier for both of them to come?

"I've got enough for one ticket only" yeah, being cheap AND pushy for the win?

 

[gabemcg]

"No worries, I'll make it rain!" Then start shelling bills into the air.

Note - This will work best if in person.

I 2nd this approach. If you can, make sure to be playing "I'm a ca$h money millionare" in the background

 

[BoberFett]

Oh, so you have a job paying you good money and you can do whatever you want, high roller and all that bullsheit?

But you can't spend 675.

Are you working at McDonalds?

675 DOLLARS is pocket change. I've probably lost more than that on one night out and twice that paying for the night out, three times that paying for the aftermath.

Oh yeah, Mr. SAS. I'm sure you're a real baller.

 

[JohnOfSheffield]

Does not compute

He can do whatever he wants because he's got money, well anything that won't cost him more than 300 dollars.

 

[RbSX]

I've never heard of someone who was financially better off unable to afford $315. Not knocking you for your generosity at all or anything but I was just under the impression that while any help is better than no help at all, this a big vacation and taking say $20 burden off their shoulders isn't exactly much help at all considering the entire cost of the trip, they could pretty much save that by just skipping a meal.

Okay, I budgeted for her mother to come. I didn't budget for a 4th body, which means a bigger car, another hotel room, etc etc etc.

 

[dmw16]

Wait a minute. What you are saying is: You want your girlfriend's mother to come with you on vacation?

I am stuck at this point and can't even begin to answer the OP's question due to the confusion.