What is wrong with me? I need a psychologist explanation.

[Kroze]

If anyone in here is a psychologist or at least study human behavior can help me? I don't know what is wrong with me.

Okay, here's the problem:

For some reason, i never care much about anyone at all. I mean normal things that would shock and fear people, it doesn't have any affect on me. Am i depressed? Like when i was over in Iraq for 6 months during the war, i see a lot of crazy crap. Like this iraqi guy got ran over by one of our heavy equipment vehicle and over 90% of his body is literally flat as a pancake on the ground, only one of his leg is normal size, guts and brains everywhere. My reaction to all that was, "that was nasty". And that's it, no thought about it at all. it didn't bother me, didn't give me any nightmares, i didn't even care.

My view on life is that you work all your life to survive day to day. Hopefully work enough to buy a house *which i did* and work till the rest of your life to stay in that house. You try hard to get a better education, but to do what? all in all, you're just trying to work harder to support your way of living. Wake up, work, pay bills. Do that for the rest of your life.

back to the subject of not caring. My girlfriend which I have been with since sophmore year of high school, i think that she's the greatest woman i've ever met. there's no one else could possibly replace her. She stood by me every waken moment and i can tell that she love me very much. Through all that time that we've been apart (over a year and a half) from me being in the military. She stood by me and wrote literally 1 letter a day. She never cares if i take her anywhere or do anything special for her, just as long as i tried she'll be so happy.
Well what if i tell you that if she just pick up and leave me tomorrow, i know my reaction to her leaving me would be "okay, she left me, so what". And then i would go on the rest of the day. It's like, things like that should shock me and i should be really sad. WTF is wrong with me? If that ever happen, I would know exactly how i would feel too, and that is, well "they comes and goes" even though i know there's no way in heck that i'll ever find anyone like her.

 

[Kroze]

Like, say, if I was in a bank right. And there's like 10 robber who's robbing the bank and killing people left and right, i wouldn't be nervous one bit. my view right there would be, if my number's up then my number's up ya know. I would of just be calm and cool like nothing is wrong. WTF

 

[Savij]

You've been emotionally seperated your whole life. You're afriad to care about people. You have trained yourself to not care about others. The cure: open up and trust someone (and make sure they don't betray your trust).

PS I don't have any idea what i'm talking about that's just the first thing that came to mind as i was reading your post

 

[KK]

I don't see anything wrong with that, of course I'm not a shrink quack either.

KK

 

[Spoooon]

Some people just have a lack of affect. Basically that they don't experience emotions ot the same degree as "normal" people. I wouldn't worry about it too much, though it could be a barrier between you and any significant other you try to get close to.

 

Nothing is wrong with you.
There are billions of others just like you.

 

[Kroze]

oh and, I never get angry on big things. Just little ones, little things will make me so angry that i will explodes in rage. It's like if something that is so simple, why are you screwing it up/not able to do it/not doing it right/ etc...like why can't I depend on you to do something so little and you screw it up. you fkin m9ctha fka idiot.

Like erm... there's a 2 lane road mergin into one. A lady on the left and i was on the right, the b!tc wouldn't let me pass and almost made me hit the curb because when the lane merges into 1, i tried to accel and pass her but she kept accel with me so forcing me to stop so i can go behind her. Knowing quite well that i almost hit the curb. the b1tch even dare to look at me after that. I was so pissed that i was actually going to open my door at the next light and smash the f8ck out of her. but the ho got lucky with the green light and got away as i opened my car door.

 

[Savij]

BTW, how would you desribe your relationship with your parents when you were growing up?

 

[rival]

how in the hell can you say you'll act a certain way in a hypothetical situation?

 

[Coquito]

you've been desensitized by society & the world around you. you see death & destruction every day, so it's nothing new to be worried about.

i agree with Savij. if you really opened yourself up to someone or something, you could possibly see that relationship as a responsibility, & give it more thought & devotion, which would connect you & open up yourself to vulnerability. once you are vulnerable to other people, you start to respect emotion.

 

[Ronstang]

Consider yourself lucky. I do understand your reaction to gorie/violent situations though.....I react the same way.

 

[Kroze]

Originally posted by: Savij
BTW, how would you desribe your relationship with your parents when you were growing up?

Well i live with my grandma, not really, i go to school near my grandma, didn't get to see my parent much cause they have grandma taken care of me. Right after school, i wouldn't be home at all, i would be out with my friend. The only time i get to see my parent and grandma is when they come to pick me up to go home and sleep. Didn't spend more than 30 minutes at my grandma's house, i'm always out.

 

[Savij]

Originally posted by: Kroze

Originally posted by: Savij
BTW, how would you desribe your relationship with your parents when you were growing up?

Well i live with my grandma, not really, i go to school near my grandma, didn't get to see my parent much cause they have grandma taken care of me. Right after school, i wouldn't be home at all, i would be out with my friend. The only time i get to see my parent and grandma is when they come to pick me up to go home and sleep. Didn't spend more than 30 minutes at my grandma's house, i'm always out.

How's that relationship now?

 

[Kroze]

Originally posted by: rival
how in the hell can you say you'll act a certain way in a hypothetical situation?

Well because i know. Here's another example.

I was in Iraq and there's like so many gas calls *we have to put on our NBC (nuclear biological chemical) gear so many times. And everytime, i just keep thinking that okay, your ass is gased. Knowing that i'm going to be killed by gas, yet, i'm calm and cool. Just as casual as can be. The sky was blowing up from all of the artillery and i never thought that the sky can be so many different color, one minute it was red as blood in the middle of the night, next it's bright as day and the constant bombing.

 

[OulOat]

Originally posted by: Kroze

Originally posted by: rival
how in the hell can you say you'll act a certain way in a hypothetical situation?

Well because i know. Here's another example.

I was in Iraq and there's like so many gas calls *we have to put on our NBC (nuclear biological chemical) gear so many times. And everytime, i just keep thinking that okay, your ass is gased. Knowing that i'm going to be killed by gas, yet, i'm calm and cool. Just as casual as can be. The sky was blowing up from all of the artillery and i never thought that the sky can be so many different color, one minute it was red as blood in the middle of the night, next it's bright as day and the constant bombing.

And how does that make you feel?

 

[JustAnAverageGuy]

Diagnosis: Apathy

/not a shrink

 

[Savij]

Originally posted by: Kroze

Originally posted by: rival
how in the hell can you say you'll act a certain way in a hypothetical situation?

Well because i know. Here's another example.

I was in Iraq and there's like so many gas calls *we have to put on our NBC (nuclear biological chemical) gear so many times. And everytime, i just keep thinking that okay, your ass is gased. Knowing that i'm going to be killed by gas, yet, i'm calm and cool. Just as casual as can be. The sky was blowing up from all of the artillery and i never thought that the sky can be so many different color, one minute it was red as blood in the middle of the night, next it's bright as day and the constant bombing.

That could be from your training as much as anything else...I'm have no idea what the training is like, but the point of it is so that you know what to do and don't panic when you are in the real situation right?

edit: i am even more making this stuff up now cause i don't even have a clue what training or real combat situations are like so i could be WAAAAAY off

 

[Kroze]

Sometimes i heard bombs going off left and right and it seems to get closer and closer. Everyone have the gas mask on and i'm just as cool and casual. Everytime a scud from the iraqi was fired, we were to put our NBC gear on. and sometimes that you can hear the explosion and we would a scramble to get our crap together thinking that the wind is going to pick up to our direction adn we're all going to gassed.

 

[djplayx714]

in regards to your self description you fit the profile of a sociopath. if you ask a bio psychologist theyll tell you that you need pills. im a cognitive psychologist and i think something from your past has left you with a memory/ies that give you this sociopathic personality.

k enough free stuff...

 

[Kroze]

I was in Iraq and there's like so many gas calls *we have to put on our NBC (nuclear biological chemical) gear so many times. And everytime, i just keep thinking that okay, your ass is gased. Knowing that i'm going to be killed by gas, yet, i'm calm and cool. Just as casual as can be. The sky was blowing up from all of the artillery and i never thought that the sky can be so many different color, one minute it was red as blood in the middle of the night, next it's bright as day and the constant bombing.

And how does that make you feel? [/quote]

i don't really care about it much. that's the thing. all that's in my mind the entire was is that if my number's up then that's it.

 

[Kev]

all your experiences in iraq not having an effect on you is probably because you were desensitized to it all - it became routine, so to cope with it, you ignored it and didn't let it bother you. i don't see anything wrong with that.

and when you say you wouldn't care if your girl left you - you don't know that for sure... or maybe you just haven't found the right girl. i don't think there is anything wrong with you, but then again i never went to any of my psyc classes

 

[Kroze]

well i don't live with my grandma anymore, my dad is an abusive alcaholic, he beats on my mom. She devorced him and now i bought a house with the money that i got from the war. My mom and I live there and we split the bills. that's pretty much it. I now back to square one. work to get money, money to pay bills and food to survive. and start all over again the next day. WTF

 

[Kroze]

Originally posted by: djplayx714
in regards to your self description you fit the profile of a sociopath. if you ask a bio psychologist theyll tell you that you need pills. im a cognitive psychologist and i think something from your past has left you with a memory/ies that give you this sociopathic personality.

k enough free stuff...

you're going to charge me? lol

 

[Kev]

yeah life sucks then you die. deal with it.

 

[Rogodin2]

My view on life is that you work all your life to survive day to day. Hopefully work enough to buy a house *which i did* and work till the rest of your life to stay in that house. You try hard to get a better education, but to do what? all in all, you're just trying to work harder to support your way of living. Wake up, work, pay bills. Do that for the rest of your life.

Your world view is very base-you're not even using the gift of human intelligence-your basically operating on only one function-epirical sensations.

I really sorry for you-there is a whole other word in the mind-try reading some intro to philosophy and some existentialism (kierkegaard, Kafka, Sartre 'the wall', and Doestoevsky)-hell even some mysticism might spark something.

Also read some good non-fiction-start on learing the fundamentals of logic and listen carefully (not casual listening) to some classical music (listen for the bubbles and circles-only way to change the phase).

good luck

rogo