What kind of activities do 12 year old girls like?

[Jaepheth]

Axiom 1: children love to climb on stuff

Therefore: Take her rock climbing. (Indoor fiberglass wall with knowledgeable staff)

QED

 

[T9D]

You sound like a nice guy.

I predict the mother abusing your love and kindness and ultimately gravitating to more abuse and douchebags while cheating on you. Enjoy

 

[HumblePie]

Um, giving alchol to a minor is illegal...(plus I don't drink)


+1 for M*A*S*H*. Great show. :biggrin:

In response to the bolded...

No it's not if you are the parent or guardian.

 

[Chapbass]

I hear they like old vans with 'free candy' sprayed on the side.

Sorry. I couldn't resist.

Give her a choice! Have 2 or 3 things lined up. If you're going to a mall, tell her she can get her hair done, go on rides, or pick out a nice new outfit. Then offer her a choice between a couple sit-down restaurants.

If you have a couple things and she chooses one, it'll generally end up making her much happier.

This, absolutely. Giving her some say in it will go a long way, and subconsciously might make her feel that you actually care about her giving input instead of just doing whatever you come up with...could be important in a situation like this.

I do also agree, however, that if she has any plans with her friends you might want to let them have their day and then take her out on another day where she has nothing going on. You definitely want to make sure that you don't force yourself on her (figuratively, AT resident pedos...) when she's thinking in the back of her mind that shes missing out on hanging out with her friends (even if shes having fun with you).

 

[Ruptga]

I don't really interact with 12 year old girls that much (despite my elaborate traps), but I suspect she probably doesn't really want to hang out with you on her birthday. No offense, but taking her to the mall and going on roller coaster rides with her sounds creepy as hell. If she was like 7 or 8, maybe, 12 is too old for that.

I know your heart is in the right place. Just get her a nice card with $20 or something. She'll appreciate that.

+1

If you really want to help the kid, help her mom. Help her figure out or work through whatever problems she is facing, and if she is doing alright then just have her over as a friend. You aren't a part of that family, and you actually have one of your own. You can't be that kid's father figure and to try is to be presumptuous, if not downright arrogant. This is real life, not some Hallmark special.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

In response to the bolded...

No it's not if you are the parent or guardian.

depends on the state. its OK in texas, but not all the rest

 

[SSSnail]

Camping in Idaho, I heard it's nice there this time of year. Just make sure you stay away from meddling horseback riders.

 

[shortylickens]

fudge, hair, SMORES, talking about boys, makeup, justin beiber, nails, popcorn, screaming like idiots, etc.

 

[Chapbass]

fudge, hair, SMORES, talking about boys, makeup, justin beiber, nails, popcorn, screaming like idiots, etc.

I want to see a video of the OP doing exactly this.

 

[TheVrolok]

fudge, hair, SMORES, talking about boys, makeup, justin beiber, nails, popcorn, screaming like idiots, etc.

Don't forget facebook, twitter, and twerking

 

[mmntech]

I came in here to make a joke but then I read the OPs entire post. Buzzkill.

You could do stuff with her sure, but what she really needs is emotional support right now. It's an awkward age as it is and her dad being an absolute douche nozzle isn't helping. Your home has to be a safe port in the storm. Make her know she's loved md she can share absolutely anything with you and your wife.

Girls that age pretty much like what Shorty covered, which is scary that the wee pirate knows that. I'd start by finding out what her hobbies and talents are, and nurture those. If she likes to paint, take her to the art museum for example. Though a trip to six flags never hurts.

 

[Lazarus52980]

You sound like a nice guy.

I predict the mother abusing your love and kindness and ultimately gravitating to more abuse and douchebags while cheating on you. Enjoy

There is no "cheating" going on at all. I am not involved with her mother (I'm happily married already, AND I prefer my women a little less "high maintenance"), other than to try to help her through a tough time in their lives, and make sure they at least have the basics.

 

[Lazarus52980]

+1

If you really want to help the kid, help her mom. Help her figure out or work through whatever problems she is facing, and if she is doing alright then just have her over as a friend. You aren't a part of that family, and you actually have one of your own. You can't be that kid's father figure and to try is to be presumptuous, if not downright arrogant. This is real life, not some Hallmark special.

I agree that I will never be part of her family...but I have been in that apartment building, seen her friends and her friends moms, and there are no men ANYWHERE. There are a few guys that hang out trying to get into the pants of any women they can, but no actual "adult" males at all. I feel like if I can just give her some idea of what men are supposed to act like, maybe she will chose not to involve herself with someone like her father.

Yes, it sounds like a Hallmark special, but I have to do SOMETHING...

 

[blackdogdeek]

IMHO, if you really want to provide a good fatherly example you should invite her to hang out with you and your family while you go out and do fun things, NOT hang out with her alone. After all, you want to show her what a good example of a father is, shouldn't that be done with your own family as active participants? You want her to see how a good husband treats his wife and how a good father treats his children. Spending time with her alone sounds like a recipe for confusing feelings and misleading her.

Regarding what 12 year olds might like, my niece recently celebrated her 13th birthday by going shopping in the morning and then seeing Fuerza Bruta in NYC with my wife and my niece's friend. She also went to go see One Direction on the Today show last week. At the beginning of the summer we all went to the State Fair at the Meadowloands. During all of those events she brought her best friend so keep that in mind.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Hmm, I've got younger cousins, 17 year old, 16 year old, 13 year old, 12 year old, and 7 year old (as well as "grown" younger cousins going all the way up to about 30.)

Horses (find a corral and go for an hour ride or so?)
Wall climbing (This isn't such a bad idea)
Go biking or hiking together (any interesting state parks near bye?)
Canoeing or Kayaking for a few hours?
Take her fishing?
Go mini golfing and/or Take her to driving range. (my uncle takes his 2 daughters golfing and even though they are not very good, they enjoy it.)
Go bowling
Otherwise your mall of America idea is probably a good one.


If you both have fun she can then have her male role model, just don't pretend to take over "father" duty, because that will be creepy.

 

[Ruptga]

I agree that I will never be part of her family...but I have been in that apartment building, seen her friends and her friends moms, and there are no men ANYWHERE. There are a few guys that hang out trying to get into the pants of any women they can, but no actual "adult" males at all. I feel like if I can just give her some idea of what men are supposed to act like, maybe she will chose not to involve herself with someone like her father.

Yes, it sounds like a Hallmark special, but I have to do SOMETHING...

Sure, and I suggested something helpful, it just wasn't the something you had in mind. At this point I'll just refer you to Blackdog's post for more specific ideas, since that's the general direction I was going anyway.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

IMHO, if you really want to provide a good fatherly example you should invite her to hang out with you and your family while you go out and do fun things, NOT hang out with her alone. After all, you want to show her what a good example of a father is, shouldn't that be done with your own family as active participants? You want her to see how a good husband treats his wife and how a good father treats his children. Spending time with her alone sounds like a recipe for confusing feelings and misleading her.

Regarding what 12 year olds might like, my niece recently celebrated her 13th birthday by going shopping in the morning and then seeing Fuerza Bruta in NYC with my wife and my niece's friend. She also went to go see One Direction on the Today show last week. At the beginning of the summer we all went to the State Fair at the Meadowloands. During all of those events she brought her best friend so keep that in mind.

This is probably the best advice out of all the other ones. Invite her to family outings but not alone cause that's :hmm:

 

[7window]

The best thing to handle that is to find a 12yo girl and have her play or hang out with her. Just to be safe. You don't want to be alone with a 12yo girl. I am never alone with any girls that is 17 and below. I refused to do it.

 

[OCGuy]

The best thing to handle that is to find a 12yo girl and have her play or hang out with her. Just to be safe. You don't want to be alone with a 12yo girl. I am never alone with any girls that is 17 and below. .

That seems a little like over-compensation, I wouldn't really think about it in that way.


But don't worry, the bolded part tells the story of 90% of ATOTer's high school experience.

 

[Lazarus52980]

The best thing to handle that is to find a 12yo girl and have her play or hang out with her. Just to be safe. You don't want to be alone with a 12yo girl. I am never alone with any girls that is 17 and below. I refused to do it.

Depending on what we end up doing, the only time we would be "alone" would be driving, so hopefully we should be ok.

 

[Lazarus52980]

IMHO, if you really want to provide a good fatherly example you should invite her to hang out with you and your family while you go out and do fun things, NOT hang out with her alone. After all, you want to show her what a good example of a father is, shouldn't that be done with your own family as active participants? You want her to see how a good husband treats his wife and how a good father treats his children. Spending time with her alone sounds like a recipe for confusing feelings and misleading her.

Regarding what 12 year olds might like, my niece recently celebrated her 13th birthday by going shopping in the morning and then seeing Fuerza Bruta in NYC with my wife and my niece's friend. She also went to go see One Direction on the Today show last week. At the beginning of the summer we all went to the State Fair at the Meadowloands. During all of those events she brought her best friend so keep that in mind.

In reference to your first paragraph, I have actually done this a 2 or 3 times already. My wife and I have invited both her and her mom to do stuff with us on more than a few occasions, and she has come with and helped with my small children and had a chance to spend time with my family. I agree with your sentiment that she needs to have more time seeing "normal" family interactions.

 

[shortylickens]

As someone who grew up near Mall of America, I can say without any doubt that place is HIGHLY FUCKING OVERRATED.

Thank you and good night.

 

[waggy]

Hmm, I've got younger cousins, 17 year old, 16 year old, 13 year old, 12 year old, and 7 year old (as well as "grown" younger cousins going all the way up to about 30.)

Horses (find a corral and go for an hour ride or so?)
Wall climbing (This isn't such a bad idea)
Go biking or hiking together (any interesting state parks near bye?)
Canoeing or Kayaking for a few hours?
Take her fishing?
Go mini golfing and/or Take her to driving range. (my uncle takes his 2 daughters golfing and even though they are not very good, they enjoy it.)
Go bowling
Otherwise your mall of America idea is probably a good one.

If you both have fun she can then have her male role model, just don't pretend to take over "father" duty, because that will be creepy.

/this

do stuff with her. ask her what she enjoys i'm betting she would be up one of these listed.

AND TALK. even sitting down for dinner or ice cream and just talking about her life/friends/hobbies/etc.

 

[SSSnail]

As someone who grew up near Mall of America, I can say without any doubt that place is HIGHLY FUCKING OVERRATED.

Thank you and good night.

As someone who once drove by that mall, I agree.

 

[vec]

I just spent last week with my 11 year old (soon to be 12 year old) daughter before she starts school.

We spent the first part of the week bike riding at the beach, going out for lunch, and going to an amusement park. Later in the week, a couple of her friends joined us for a few days. During that time we did a few different things. Went to the park to skateboard, went to the mall to shop. They shopped while I waited outside each store while they looked at stuff and tried on clothes/shoes. At the end of the week, we washed my car and they had some water play afterwards. As a reward I took them to get some shaved ice (snow cones) and went to lunch and then to the local library. During down times at home, they were content with watching movies my daughter recorded and eating snacks. One lunch at home I had them help me make spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread and corn.

Agree with other regarding being alone with her. With my daughter it was ok, but with her friends, I made sure someone else was always with us.