When my cousin and I were about 13, we hung around a lot in his house, because we didnt have cars yet, and we would play hockey and ping pong in his basement. There were several new houses being built in my cousin's development, so we would walk around the neighborhood and go inside some of the unfinished ones and hang out. Apparently, one of the builders left behind a hand painted sign that had a skull and crossbones on it and said "Beware of evil spirits", I guess to dissuade young punks like us from hanging out and vandalizing things. Because we found humor in this, one of us had a thick permanent marker on us, so we wrote something profane from a George Carlin skit on the sign and left (you'll find out what it was a little later).
When we walked back to my cousin's house, we wanted to get on the computer to play Duke Nukem 3D (this is obviously way back in the day). We couldn't get on the computer because his little brother was playing some stupid D&D game and wouldn't let us on.
Pissed, we grabbed a bunch of my little cousin's stuffed animals from the basement (he was like 11 or 12, this shows what a little girl he was) and began destroying them outside- we put M80s in some and blew them apart, took garden shears to some others, and then we decided to do the stupidest one of all.
We took a couple of my little cousin's Care Bears and walked back to the house down the street that we were in before. It was about 70% completed. We ripped the guts out so the stuffing was hanging out, and strung the Care Bear up over one of the rafters in the foyer of the unfinished house. We then proceeded to set it on fire, watching and laughing about how we were sticking it to my little cousin, and how he'd regret not letting us play Duke3d when he found his stuffed animals missing.
Well, apparently one of the neighbors across the street saw the flames through the window and called the cops (why not the fire dept, I'll never know). All of a sudden out of nowhere this cop car comes screaming down the street and skids into the driveway. It happened so fast we didn't even have time to run out of the house- we were stuck.
We did have about 30 seconds to walk down the stairs and ended up near the garage, which was a gaping hole with no door yet. The cop approaches us and asks what we're doing. We tell him just hanging out. He asks us to empty our pockets (luckily we had thrown the book of matches used to burn the Care Bear out the window into the overgrown, un-landscaped yard, and had also conveniently left the big fat permanent marker we used to tag up the construction sign back in my cousin's house).
Finding nothing, the cop leads us back upstairs into the house to check out the burned ashes of the Care Bear, and during the course of this, we stumble up the skull-and-crossbones sign we defaced earlier in the day. The cop stops, looks at the sign and reads it out loud (here's the George Carlin line):
"Go Fvck Yourself in the Assh0le with a Big Rubber D!ck".
It took all of me and my cousin's willpower not to burst out laughing when the cop recited this to us. He asks us then if we know anything about the sign, to which we obviously deny. He then takes down our addresses and names, presumably to contact our parents and lets us go. We were scared sh1tless the rest of the afternoon, afraid that our parents were going to find out and we were going to get busted for something so stupid. Nothing ever happened though, and we got off scot-free.
My cousin and I still laugh our asses off when we think of the sign and how the cop read it out loud to us, all serious-like. Thinking back it was incredibly stupid that we could have accidentally burned down an unfinished house just to "get even" with my little cousin.
Sorry for the novel....