What should I do now?

[Exterous]

My wife's 30th birthday is coming up and, like a good husband, I found the perfect gift for her. A casket. I decided I would go the extra special route and make it for her myself.

The downside is that it is a bit big so when I was half way through construction I had to hide it from her as she was on her way home. Now I find out she was in the room where I had placed it.

She has to have seen it. There is no way she couldn't. The question is, as it was only partially constructed did she know what it was? She may have thought it was just some plywood laying on its side but the bottom and sides were put together (No paint or lid). Maybe she thinks its something for one of the many projects I have going on at home?

Do I just go about my business and never mention it until her birthday? (Surprise! You're old! Here's your casket!) Or do I finish it and act like it was a surprise decoration for Halloween?

 

[NuclearNed]

My definition of "perfect gift" is anything that increases my chances of getting friendly with the wife, if you know what I mean.

You must have some different ideas.

 

[Vdubchaos]

That's fucked up dude. Really? A casket for her birthday?

Give that shit to her when she is depressed/bad day or something.....

 

[Exterous]

My definition of "perfect gift" is anything that increases my chances of getting friendly with the wife, if you know what I mean.

:hmm: I thought that was what alcohol was for?

That's fucked up dude. Really? A casket for her birthday?

Give that shit to her when she is depressed/bad day or something.....

I think she would find it mirthful - although perhaps after she has punched me a couple of times

Besides - our trip to the UK is our real birthday/xmas/anniversary presents so its not like shes not getting anything else

 

[lxskllr]

Wow, you;'re going all out. A plywood casket is very luxurious. Does it have rope handles too? :^D

 

[BoomerD]

IF she has seen it...play it off as the "Halloween prop" and rent a wheelchair for her 30th birthday. Take her everywhere in the wheelchair. At 30, she's definitely over the hill...and you MIGHT be wise to start considering trading her in for younger models in a few years.

You COULD probably get two 15 year olds for her...but it'd be more acceptable to wait a few years so your new models would be legal in more states.

(but there IS something appealing about getting them young enough that you can properly train them without having to break all sorts of bad habits)

:biggrin:

 

[torpid]

Just work on it during the day and hide it under some food at night. Since she's a vampire, she would never suspect anything.

 

[JulesMaximus]

A casket?

SRSLY???

This has to be a parody thread right?

 

[Bazake]

Wow! 30 is already a tough birthday for most women.

Give her that gift if, and only if, you never really loved her and want to video tape her psychotic break that ends with you castrated by can-opener.


Samir: "Yes, this is horrible, this idea."

 

[MontyAC]

Guess it's a gag gift. she 30 now all down hill.

 

[DesiPower]

Posting in epic troll thread, there's no way OP is serious...

 

[MontyAC]

This would be nice to give, she can relax in it.

 

[lxskllr]

This would be nice to give, she can relax in it.

That's pretty cool. That would look good i a bar or something.

 

[darkxshade]

For her next birthday, you can buy her a plot. :awe:

For the one after that, you can dig the grave

But be careful... she might bury you instead!

 

[MrColin]

You should put something romantic inside, like a vacuum cleaner, or the paperwork for a life insurance policy. That way, even if she did see the casket, she will still be surprised.

 

[mmntech]

I'm not quite sure the OP is serious. If he is, she's certainly not going to be his wife for birthday 31. Might want to seriously rethink your gift there bud.

 

[Exterous]

IF she has seen it...play it off as the "Halloween prop" and rent a wheelchair for her 30th birthday. Take her everywhere in the wheelchair. At 30, she's definitely over the hill...and you MIGHT be wise to start considering trading her in for younger models in a few years.

You COULD probably get two 15 year olds for her...but it'd be more acceptable to wait a few years so your new models would be legal in more states.

(but there IS something appealing about getting them young enough that you can properly train them without having to break all sorts of bad habits)

:biggrin:

Hmmm...the wheelchair is a good idea. I've spent so much time training this model its tough to think about getting a new one but you may be right...

A casket?

SRSLY???

This has to be a parody thread right?

Posting in epic troll thread, there's no way OP is serious...

What?! This is definitely a serious thread about my serious problem

 

[Exterous]

This would be nice to give, she can relax in it.

Its nice but probably too expensive. I'm working with a $30 budget here...

You should put something romantic inside, like a vacuum cleaner, or the paperwork for a life insurance policy. That way, even if she did see the casket, she will still be surprised.

I was thinking some ingredients so she could make me cookies after she opened it. Or maybe I would really splurge and put a $5 GC to target in there

I'm not quite sure the OP is serious. If he is, she's certainly not going to be his wife for birthday 31. Might want to seriously rethink your gift there bud.

O ye of little faith

 

[clamum]

Don't know if serious.

 

[jagec]

Wow! 30 is already a tough birthday for most women.

Give her that gift if, and only if, you never really loved her and want to video tape her psychotic break that ends with you castrated by can-opener.


Samir: "Yes, this is horrible, this idea."

I think it's a great idea. It's funny and shows a high level of personal attention. Also, this way he doesn't have to get her anything for her 31st, since "You never used what I got you last year!"

 

[Krazy4Real]

Wow... use some nice wood at least. Not cheap ass plywood.

 

[pelov]

You guys aren't thinking this thing through enough...

OP is a closet necrophile and the closest he'll get to banging a stiffy is having sex with his wife in a coffin, hence the seemingly weird gift.

I say you bury yourselves 6 feet deep as you're burying yourself 6" deep, OP.

 

[Pr0d1gy]

OP fails at marraige. Story at 11.

 

[BurnItDwn]

I thought caskets were for the 40th birthday....

I believe the "official" age for when women "peak" in their hotness is 31.
Also, most women tend to have more libido in their 30s vs their 20s....

 

[Exterous]

I think it's a great idea. It's funny and shows a high level of personal attention. Also, this way he doesn't have to get her anything for her 31st, since "You never used what I got you last year!"

Finally someone gets it!

Wow... use some nice wood at least. Not cheap ass plywood.

What part of $30 budget did you not understand?

You guys aren't thinking this thing through enough...

OP is a closet necrophile and the closest he'll get to banging a stiffy is having sex with his wife in a coffin, hence the seemingly weird gift.

I say you bury yourselves 6' feet deep as you're burying yourself 6.25" deep, OP.

FTFY