Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Back in the '50's and 60's dirty magazines used to have advertisements at the back of the mag. One of them was "The Auto Suck". You could use it while driving your car, or you could plug it into a transformer at home. It promised pleasure beyone measure.
Being a poor lad at that time, the son of hard working but struggling parents, I never had the money to send away for an "Auto Suck."
As the years passed and I became successful and acquired the discretionary income to afford the objects of my dreams I discovered that the beloved "Auto Suck" was no longer available.
I have been forced throughout my life to make do with "the real thing", you know, flesh and blood women. How crude and Neanderthal.
Just think, with an "Auto Suck" you would never again be bored while stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the freeway. At lunchtime, while your co-workers were gossiping and wasting their time, you could be in your cubicle getting a nut.
You would never again be bored, like so many of you are, while posting worthless drivel on the Internet. You could have your "Auto Suck" distracting you between inane posts.
Yes, the "Auto Suck" is, apparently, gone. It is a grave loss to mankind but the women are grateful.