BathroomFeeling
Senior member
- Apr 26, 2007
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Ultima Online, there were countless moments that I could consider as oh-so-fine. But off the top of my head, picture this - before the split of the world between Felucca & Trammel, I was training my lowly woodsman near Delucia, at the City of the Dead. Suddenly PKs & thieves showed up & slaughtered everyone! Everyone but me! I immediately hid as I had no Magery skill to transport myself out of there. I then used my weak Stealth skill to creep away from the scene whilst hidden, towards Delucia. It was far. Just then they came in on horseback & started casting firewalls all over the place. They knew I was there, oh shit! When you cast firewall, it created a wall of fire on the ground, and if you were hiding there, you'll receive damage & reveal yourself to them. But out of sheer luck I managed to creep away from the fires, and managed to place myself into a small crevice in a wall. I was trapped & had nowhere to go, so I stayed hidden & waited. My heart was pounding. I waited & waited, all the while those fools spoke the rustic language of kewl-talk. After several very very close approaches, they gave up & ran away. I stayed hidden for 10 more minutes before I gathered up my courage to creep out of there. At the end of it, I managed to sell the wares I collected from the undead city & net myself a tidy profit of a few thousand coins.
Next scene, several years later. Trammel facet of the world, where murder & thieving was impossible. Looting was illegal, but there were ways around that. I walked a very thin line on that path. My unbelievably awesome character Modrid was wondering around Dungeon Deceit on the Pacific shard. Deceit is a place of all things undead, situated on a cold island north of the world. Down below in the dungeon it's warmer, the still air & torch fires keep the place warmed & nice. The first two levels were filled with useless creatures. I didn't bother with those. I stayed on level 3 where most folks go to. They come because of easy kills. Liches lurk in the dark hallways, and each carry a good amount of gold. Warriors can easily slay one with just two or three hits, assuming they wield a silver weapon. Such things do double damage to undead. Otherwise two or three spells kill them for those with the Magery skill.
So there I was, calmly walking around & chatting with these poor folks. Little did they know I had achieved Grandmaster level on my Provocation skill, something that was exceedingly rare back then. Those with such a skill were considered to be the most powerful self-supporting character in all of UO. The only exception were tamers, who tamed powerful dragons, and dragged them around the world. The twerps. Anyway many of these warriors in the dungeon were sortof idiots. I convinced them I was a GM, and was able to control liches at will. For example, I would say I had just finished creating a liche, and was about to place it in front of those warriors. I'd tell them to get ready, I timed it just right & shouted "NOW!". Like magic they'd appear & attack those warriors. Funny shit. After a while of getting friendly, I'd go around looking for a spinning vortex. Those familiar will know of what I speak. The Poison Elemental, a devastatingly powerful entity capable of killing anyone sometimes instantly, of such speeds that only those on horseback could have a hope of escape. I lured it near the place where the warriors were, then sped off. Now I couldn't lure it all the way to let it kill them, that's considered illegal. So I lured it close enough for it to wander randomly towards the warriors, but far enough away that I can claim ignorance of its existence. Before long, it blasted its way through & slayed 5 warriors instantly. They were but ghosts now, and I hurriedly 'provoked' 4 liches to attack the poison elemental. Keep them busy with each other. Easy stuff. Next thing I hear are "oOOoOooOOooo", the voices of the ghosts. Now there's another thing these poor hapless souls didn't know about me, I also had the "Spirit Speak" skill. How awesome was I? Almost no-one had the skill as it was considered useless, the skill let you understand ghosts. But I did, and I counted on that little fact to... pretend I didn't understand the utterances of those fallen players whilst in ghost form.
Now, as I was in Trammel, players couldn't loot another corpse directly. You had two choices, let a monster semi-loot it & you killed it for the loot, or wait until the bodies were bones. As these fallen warriors were alone, I pretended not to understand them whilst I bought time to get to their stuff. I could've been the good guy & cast a portal spell back to town. But that would've meant they could quickly gather equipment & come back to the dungeon before their corpses turned to bones. Nope, I waited & asked them questions. Three letters for portal gate, two letters to ask for help, one letter to get revenge from the nasty monsters. "OoO!", "OOo", "oo" were the responses. Nope sorry, the votes had to be unanimous, so I asked again & again, whilst pretending not to understand them. Before long they started to accuse me of being a looter. I was shocked, and I expressed this to them, much to their surprise! Lol. After a frank talk, I opened a portal back to... somewhere close to Britain & let them be freeeee. Meanwhile I'm picking the bones completely clean. A good day.
Much much later that day, I was in my off time. I had no desire to loot anyone & I was looking for some R&R at level 5, the insane part of the dungeon where liches, lich lords, & super fast silver serpents lurked. I wasn't looking for money, just a challenge. Suddenly two ghosts appeared in front of me & I recognized them immediately. They were the two saps I had cleaned out hours earlier! They initially asked me for help, but one of them recognized that I was a looter. They were about to give up. Apparently these two fools had gone down there to prove something, I don't know what. Those monsters probably picked them clean, spread between each other. It was going to be a pain tracking & killing them all down. So I pretended to not wanting to help them. I want them to believe I was going to loot them again. I made them watch my awesome whilst they were still ghosts. Last thing I need were two idiots dying constantly & me wasting resources resurrecting them. So in I went. The problem with that part of the level is the speed at which monsters respawned. It was too fast sometimes. I acted quickly, the biggest threat were the twin silver serpents, so I made them attack each other. Next, I lured two liches out into a hallway, made them attack each other. I hid & did the same on 4 more liches. I see one lich lord, but where's the other? Damn, it's really deep inside the chamber. So in I go, into a death trap, all the while the ghosts watching. I lured both lords to each other & wham! They started going at each other like crazy. Powerful things indeed. I looted the bones of the warriors, nothing left but junk. I went back & checked on the liches. 4 were dead, two were left. I looted them & found the warriors things. I quickly hid & tracked 4 more creatures before I'm done. Suddenly a poison elemental wandered into the hallway where I was! Shit! If I move or do anything, it'll come straight for me. My only hope to surviving it was to use another skill called "Peacemaking" to make it non-aggressive towards me, but that was deadly as then I'd be surrounded by monsters no longer attacking each other! I had to think fast. Okay, I ran towards the two fighting lords & it followed me almost immediately. I hid & waited. I then provoked the elemental on both lords! It killed them & looted whatever was on them. Suddenly a new lord spawned! I lured the elemental to the two remaining liches & had it kill both. Once again looted whatever were in the liches. I didn't know what was happening with the silver serpents, but when I was just about to lure the elemental away so I could kill it, one of them spawned next to me whilst I was unhidden! I guess one of them died in the chamber, so I ran like a maniac & very nearly died from its bite. I went back in, because I'm so awesome, and provoked the beastly elemental to kill them all!! It was a tough slog, and towards the end, the thing had killed more than a dozen creatures. I slayed it with all of my might, as my powerful character *also* had Grandmaster Magery. I looted it all, everything. I then looked at those two ghosts, no doubt picking up their spectral jaws off the ground, and pretended to run away lol! They followed but I was faster as I was on my portable horse. I met them in the level above, it was empty. Instead of portaling them back home, I resurrected them to full health, and gave them everything minus gold. They asked why I had given them back everything, and I told them "...because I'm off for the night...". As I was teleporting away, the last thing I see was one of them saying "you magnificent bastard". I entered my tower o' riches, blew off the lamp light, and slept like a baby in the bed which I made. The end.
Next scene, several years later. Trammel facet of the world, where murder & thieving was impossible. Looting was illegal, but there were ways around that. I walked a very thin line on that path. My unbelievably awesome character Modrid was wondering around Dungeon Deceit on the Pacific shard. Deceit is a place of all things undead, situated on a cold island north of the world. Down below in the dungeon it's warmer, the still air & torch fires keep the place warmed & nice. The first two levels were filled with useless creatures. I didn't bother with those. I stayed on level 3 where most folks go to. They come because of easy kills. Liches lurk in the dark hallways, and each carry a good amount of gold. Warriors can easily slay one with just two or three hits, assuming they wield a silver weapon. Such things do double damage to undead. Otherwise two or three spells kill them for those with the Magery skill.
So there I was, calmly walking around & chatting with these poor folks. Little did they know I had achieved Grandmaster level on my Provocation skill, something that was exceedingly rare back then. Those with such a skill were considered to be the most powerful self-supporting character in all of UO. The only exception were tamers, who tamed powerful dragons, and dragged them around the world. The twerps. Anyway many of these warriors in the dungeon were sortof idiots. I convinced them I was a GM, and was able to control liches at will. For example, I would say I had just finished creating a liche, and was about to place it in front of those warriors. I'd tell them to get ready, I timed it just right & shouted "NOW!". Like magic they'd appear & attack those warriors. Funny shit. After a while of getting friendly, I'd go around looking for a spinning vortex. Those familiar will know of what I speak. The Poison Elemental, a devastatingly powerful entity capable of killing anyone sometimes instantly, of such speeds that only those on horseback could have a hope of escape. I lured it near the place where the warriors were, then sped off. Now I couldn't lure it all the way to let it kill them, that's considered illegal. So I lured it close enough for it to wander randomly towards the warriors, but far enough away that I can claim ignorance of its existence. Before long, it blasted its way through & slayed 5 warriors instantly. They were but ghosts now, and I hurriedly 'provoked' 4 liches to attack the poison elemental. Keep them busy with each other. Easy stuff. Next thing I hear are "oOOoOooOOooo", the voices of the ghosts. Now there's another thing these poor hapless souls didn't know about me, I also had the "Spirit Speak" skill. How awesome was I? Almost no-one had the skill as it was considered useless, the skill let you understand ghosts. But I did, and I counted on that little fact to... pretend I didn't understand the utterances of those fallen players whilst in ghost form.
Now, as I was in Trammel, players couldn't loot another corpse directly. You had two choices, let a monster semi-loot it & you killed it for the loot, or wait until the bodies were bones. As these fallen warriors were alone, I pretended not to understand them whilst I bought time to get to their stuff. I could've been the good guy & cast a portal spell back to town. But that would've meant they could quickly gather equipment & come back to the dungeon before their corpses turned to bones. Nope, I waited & asked them questions. Three letters for portal gate, two letters to ask for help, one letter to get revenge from the nasty monsters. "OoO!", "OOo", "oo" were the responses. Nope sorry, the votes had to be unanimous, so I asked again & again, whilst pretending not to understand them. Before long they started to accuse me of being a looter. I was shocked, and I expressed this to them, much to their surprise! Lol. After a frank talk, I opened a portal back to... somewhere close to Britain & let them be freeeee. Meanwhile I'm picking the bones completely clean. A good day.
Much much later that day, I was in my off time. I had no desire to loot anyone & I was looking for some R&R at level 5, the insane part of the dungeon where liches, lich lords, & super fast silver serpents lurked. I wasn't looking for money, just a challenge. Suddenly two ghosts appeared in front of me & I recognized them immediately. They were the two saps I had cleaned out hours earlier! They initially asked me for help, but one of them recognized that I was a looter. They were about to give up. Apparently these two fools had gone down there to prove something, I don't know what. Those monsters probably picked them clean, spread between each other. It was going to be a pain tracking & killing them all down. So I pretended to not wanting to help them. I want them to believe I was going to loot them again. I made them watch my awesome whilst they were still ghosts. Last thing I need were two idiots dying constantly & me wasting resources resurrecting them. So in I went. The problem with that part of the level is the speed at which monsters respawned. It was too fast sometimes. I acted quickly, the biggest threat were the twin silver serpents, so I made them attack each other. Next, I lured two liches out into a hallway, made them attack each other. I hid & did the same on 4 more liches. I see one lich lord, but where's the other? Damn, it's really deep inside the chamber. So in I go, into a death trap, all the while the ghosts watching. I lured both lords to each other & wham! They started going at each other like crazy. Powerful things indeed. I looted the bones of the warriors, nothing left but junk. I went back & checked on the liches. 4 were dead, two were left. I looted them & found the warriors things. I quickly hid & tracked 4 more creatures before I'm done. Suddenly a poison elemental wandered into the hallway where I was! Shit! If I move or do anything, it'll come straight for me. My only hope to surviving it was to use another skill called "Peacemaking" to make it non-aggressive towards me, but that was deadly as then I'd be surrounded by monsters no longer attacking each other! I had to think fast. Okay, I ran towards the two fighting lords & it followed me almost immediately. I hid & waited. I then provoked the elemental on both lords! It killed them & looted whatever was on them. Suddenly a new lord spawned! I lured the elemental to the two remaining liches & had it kill both. Once again looted whatever were in the liches. I didn't know what was happening with the silver serpents, but when I was just about to lure the elemental away so I could kill it, one of them spawned next to me whilst I was unhidden! I guess one of them died in the chamber, so I ran like a maniac & very nearly died from its bite. I went back in, because I'm so awesome, and provoked the beastly elemental to kill them all!! It was a tough slog, and towards the end, the thing had killed more than a dozen creatures. I slayed it with all of my might, as my powerful character *also* had Grandmaster Magery. I looted it all, everything. I then looked at those two ghosts, no doubt picking up their spectral jaws off the ground, and pretended to run away lol! They followed but I was faster as I was on my portable horse. I met them in the level above, it was empty. Instead of portaling them back home, I resurrected them to full health, and gave them everything minus gold. They asked why I had given them back everything, and I told them "...because I'm off for the night...". As I was teleporting away, the last thing I see was one of them saying "you magnificent bastard". I entered my tower o' riches, blew off the lamp light, and slept like a baby in the bed which I made. The end.