What's the best way to confront my roommate about his girlfriend living with us?

[nerp]

Start asking her out and getting very sexually suggestive when he's not around. Deny it to your roommate.

 

[JS80]

Walk around the house naked.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

I'm going to talk to him. They're at Walmart right now. I can't move out (unless she wants to take me room and pay for it).

Let us know how it goes. Remember, be political about and maybe agree on some terms. I know it's a fine line because you're also probably worried about him getting angry and possibly moving out and leaving you to take care of the bill. I don't know him but I'm sure he'll understand. Good luck.

 

[scott916]

I'm going to talk to him. They're at Walmart right now. I can't move out (unless she wants to take me room and pay for it).

Well what steps have you taken towards resolving it other than bitching inside your head and asking ATOT for advice? Have you had a discussion with them about it? It may be an easier resolution than you expect, people will often take advantage of those who just let it slide.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

Well what steps have you taken towards resolving it other than bitching inside your head and asking ATOT for advice? Have you had a discussion with them about it? It may be an easier resolution than you expect, people will often take advantage of those who just let it slide.

Reader earlier posts. This will be the first time he's confronted his roommate on it.

 

[BoberFett]

Whose name(s) are on the lease?

 

[scott916]

Reader earlier posts. This will be the first time he's confronted his roommate on it.

Ah. I missed that. But yeah, OP, just confront him, don't be angry or accusatory, just be objective and let him know the way you feel. If you go about it the right way, he'll have to reply objectively as well instead of getting offended and defensively derailing the argument.

 

[FoBoT]

Start asking him out and getting very sexually suggestive when she's not around. Deny it to your roommate's girlfriend.

fixed

 

[Adrenaline]

I wish I could. I was offered a job where they'd pay for me to move, but I still have $3200 of rent left. First time with a roommate too. I thought maybe that was a normal thing (for people to move in), but everyone I've told has found it to be really douchy...

Talk with your leasing people, sometimes if you get an opportunity to move for a job they will allow you out of the lease for free or a fraction of what you owe.

While your roommate was not there, her ass would not have been. This would not have happened with me. I had a gf that was around a bunch when I had two roommates (guy and girl that are now married and everything was split three ways), BUT she was NOT around when I was not without their permission. In your position I would have told her to leave and if she refused I would have called the cops and had her butt escorted out.

I would bring up her being there nonstop to him and how she should pay or not be there. Bring it up with both of them if you wish.

 

[destrekor]

She doesn't necessarily need to pay, but he needs to come up with a way to pay for a larger share of the utilities. If he asks her to pay a share, or if he simply picks up the tab, doesn't matter.
But since those two are using more than when it was just him, it shouldn't be hard to use that logic to say to him "you are using more utilities combined than I am using by myself, so please, pay a larger portion than 50/50 split"

 

[Adrenaline]

Eh... The reality is that your roommates are going to have their SO over. It probably bothers you (no offense) because you don't have one, or they have their own place.


It sucks, and I used to HATE it (and went through the exact same thing) and it wasn't until I was a little older that I realized it was I who was overreacting.

To bad the OP is not overreacting. The fact that she stayed there for a week while he was out of town was outright rude and disrespectful. Her butt would have been takem out by the cops if she would not go and it was me.

 

[Adrenaline]

She doesn't necessarily need to pay, but he needs to come up with a way to pay for a larger share of the utilities. If he asks her to pay a share, or if he simply picks up the tab, doesn't matter.
But since those two are using more than when it was just him, it shouldn't be hard to use that logic to say to him "you are using more utilities combined than I am using by myself, so please, pay a larger portion than 50/50 split"

No way man, she needs to pay or not be there 100% of the time. It is not her place of residence.

 

[SagaLore]

5. Pays for nothing (no rent, no utilities, no nothing).
6. Advice?

Tell him and her, that now that she's living there, all the rent and utilities will be split up between the 3 of you.

That's it.

If they argue, then you get the landlord involved.

 

[olds]

We need to bring back thread ratings with an "Emo" scale.
I am going to go ahead and give this one a 6/10.
Sounds a little gay and the OP doesn't have the balls to talk to his roommate.

 

[puffff]

We have a winner.

My roommate has her boyfriend over quite a lot, so I can see where you're coming from. However... he cooks for us, cleans, and even brings over beer now and again, so I'm not about to complain.

OP seems like he'd have an issue even if the girl was paying for her share of the utilities and/or rent.

One of the problems that comes with roommates is that they're going to have guests and SO's over. And you're not going to like all of them. Really, the only way you're going to be happy is to get a place by yourself.

 

[Tsaico]

When I had the same situation, only I was the room mate, I paid 65% utlities. Same rent, since we were sharing the space that was cut in half.

Though, she never stayed when I was away.... at least without my knowledge... cheating bitch...

 

[randay]

menage

 

[Tsaico]

Tell him and her, that now that she's living there, all the rent and utilities will be split up between the 3 of you.

That's it.

If they argue, then you get the landlord involved.

Oh, and I do not see how this will help. Unless you are looking to force out the other party. If you had a lease by yourself, then your landlord stopped by to tell you you had to include her name because she was over so much, people would throw a shit fit.

As far as landlords are concerned, unless there is a problem with the the actual space leased, they shoudl stay the hell out.

 

[Spineshank]

I am kind of in the same situation but my reason for being pissed is that I am the one cleaning their dishes and what not. They are slobs for the most part. She isnt over all the time either but is over at least 3 days a week. Hes moving out within the month so ive just dealt with it.

 

[totalnoob]

As an interim measure to put financial pressure on the two bums, stop buying food, drinks, or anything else for them to use. Buy your own stuff and keep it hidden in your room or in your car. The weather we have these days is a natural refrigerator for drinks and cold cuts.

 

[thehstrybean]

OP seems like he'd have an issue even if the girl was paying for her share of the utilities and/or rent.

One of the problems that comes with roommates is that they're going to have guests and SO's over. And you're not going to like all of them. Really, the only way you're going to be happy is to get a place by yourself.

I don't care if she's here. She's fun to hand around. We even like the same TV. But that doesn't mean that she should be here without him here...

 

[Platypus]

Who is on the lease?

I'm betting you'll end up losing him as a friend because of this, just a hunch.

 

[jrjiri]

Well, it's a bad situation for the op but as others have mentioned in this thread he needs to be talking to the roomate about this stuff.
----------
It's one thing if she's there with him but for her to hang around like she lives there even during the week(!) he was gone on holiday......not cool.

The room mate needs to be spoken to, preferably with the g/f present also. It doesn't need to get ugly or anything, just be completely honest. If they can't see why the situation is unfair then perhaps you need to give the room mate the boot.

Or, you can simply not discuss anything with them and simply demand that she pay 1/3 of every expense to do with living there (rent, bills, food) and that she also contributes 1/3 of the work (cleaning, etc). If this is met with any protest at all, change the locks or get locks for the appliances and bathroom.

 

[hanoverphist]

Oh, and I do not see how this will help. Unless you are looking to force out the other party. If you had a lease by yourself, then your landlord stopped by to tell you you had to include her name because she was over so much, people would throw a shit fit.

As far as landlords are concerned, unless there is a problem with the the actual space leased, they shoudl stay the hell out.

they did, and i tossed a huge hissy. turns out it was in the lease... i could have sworn i read most of it, i must have totally missed that part.

im kind of torn on the whole issue tho, sure she is sucking up free air, food and electricity. she doesnt have her own room tho, so she isnt sharing the majority of the place with the OP. talk to him about extra expenses from her being there all the time and work ouot a deal for him to pay more of the food, elec and water bill if youre feeling cheated. it will likely prompt him to look into moving in to her place tho.

 

[LittleNemoNES]

She's fun to hand around

Keep this up -- but let your roommate see you do it. You can get rid of him and keep her :hmm: