Whats the best/worst or any old joke you feel like posting?

[xXped0thugXx]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Well, since we are on the horrible pedophilia jokes...

What is the WORST thing about having sex with an eight year old?

Getting the blood off your clown suit...


My joke is WAY better than yours and it is about as offensive as they get...

How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick off on its teddy bear.

 

[sonz70]

Originally posted by: xXped0thugXx

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Well, since we are on the horrible pedophilia jokes...

What is the WORST thing about having sex with an eight year old?

Getting the blood off your clown suit...


My joke is WAY better than yours and it is about as offensive as they get...

How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick off on its teddy bear.

sooo wrong

 

[xXped0thugXx]

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies?
The live on at the bottom trying to crawl its way out.

 

[mitaiwan82]

so wrong...

 

[Krk3561]

How do you make a jewish girl scream twice?

fck her in the a$$ then wipe your d!ck on the drapes

 

[dquan97]

Originally posted by: xXped0thugXx

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Well, since we are on the horrible pedophilia jokes...

What is the WORST thing about having sex with an eight year old?

Getting the blood off your clown suit...


My joke is WAY better than yours and it is about as offensive as they get...

How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick off on its teddy bear.

:Q

 

[andy9o]

whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

 

[jeffeh]

Whats the best thing about have sex with twenty eight year olds?
There's twenty of them.

What is the WORST thing about having sex with an eight year old?
Getting the blood off your clown suit...

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls, and a truckload of dead babies?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What does Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was the Wall.

what's the difference between a bucket of pigs afterbirth and a bucket of sand?
You can't gargle with Sand

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken

How many dead babies does it take to roof a house?
It depends how thin you slice them.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a building?
Depends on how hard you throw them

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a dumpster?
One Dead baby in 100 Dumpsters.

Why are so many Italians named Tony?
Because when they were on the boats they had it stamped on their Heads "To NY"

What's the best thing about having sex with a five year old?
Smaller hole to dig when you're done.

What's the difference between a black man and a pie of pizza?
A pie of pizza can feed a family of 4.

whats the worse thing about eating bald pussy?
removing the diaper

Whats funnier than a midget in a clown suit on a tricycle tied to a poll going round and round while on fire?
Nothing!

 

[Barfo]

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

the pizza won't scream when you put it in the oven.

 

[chuckywang]

Originally posted by: andy9o
whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

OMFG SO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

 

[andy9o]

What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home.

 

[Appledrop]

just stop. Lock this thread please, mods.

 

[shilala]

Originally posted by: andy9o
whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

I've never heard that one before.
Nice.

 

[corpseofworms]

Originally posted by: andy9o
whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

Shouldn't it be U-235?

 

[Mucho]

My all time favorite bad joke: a horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender ask "whats with the long face buddy"

 

[andy9o]

Originally posted by: corpseofworms

Originally posted by: andy9o
whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

Shouldn't it be U-235?

Well, U-235 was used for Hiroshima (The first?) U-238 was used in Nagasaki. Or, so I've read.

 

[dquan97]

Originally posted by: barfo
what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

the pizza won't scream when you put it in the oven.

:Q x1000000

 

[darkamulets]

Originally posted by: Azzy64
just stop. Lock this thread please, mods.

PC cry baby.

How do you starve a black man?

Hide his welfare check under his work boots.

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

Originally posted by: andy9o

Originally posted by: corpseofworms

Originally posted by: andy9o
whats the main ingredient for a japanese barbecue?
Uranium 238

Shouldn't it be U-235?

Well, U-235 was used for Hiroshima (The first?) U-238 was used in Nagasaki. Or, so I've read.

That's a common misconception. It was plutonium used in the Nagasaki bomb.

 

[userman]

You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
(Note: this is VERY likely to happen in a government office!)
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night...
and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
follow a group of Hell's Angels on the highway.
Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your hat.
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You walk to work, get there, and realize your dress is
stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

 

[userman]

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

 

[userman]

One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.

Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.

So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.

When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.

16 years later

16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?"

"What?"

I pissed out a bullet.

So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.

Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet."

So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.

Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?"

The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."

"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"

 

[userman]

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?

 

[userman]

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood.

Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.

He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was.

"This is a brothel", replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today.

 

[userman]

this newly wed couple were on there honey moon and where about to have sex:

wife: before we do this i have something i have to tell u.

husband: we're married now, u can tell me anything.

wife: i'm flat chested.

husband: i don't believe u..prove it.

So she takes off her shirt.

husband: holy sh|t i never seen a smaller chest, but i have something i have to tell u too.

wife: we're married now u can tell me anything.

husband: im "weighed like a baby".

wife: i don't believe you, prove it.

So he takes off his pants.

wife: i thought u sayed u were weighed like a baby?!

husband: i am 6lbs 7ounces!