What's the funniest thing your wife does?

[calpha]

Mine is this:

My wife is not a nite owl, and I am. My most talkative time about our issues is, and will always be about 10-11 o'clock. Her time of bed.

So when I go in there and tell her goodnight, if something needs to be talked about, that's when I try to talk about it. WE work different schedules, so that is the best time for both of us.

My wife will try to talk for a little bit, but after about 5 minutes, sleep becomes more important than anything else. We could be talking about insurance, investments, family, all these important things, but invaribly, the answer always comes.

"Well, that's great. Now get the hell out"

or
"Well that's great. Shut the Fvck up. "

Funny thing is, when she says those things, we both laugh.

-->still trying to learn how to discuss all important things in a span of 4-5 minutes

 

[chaotic]

Well my wife is worse. She doesn't tell me to get the hell out. She just falls asleep! Yep, there has been many o' times where even she was talking, then in the middle of the sentence, it just goes silent. I look over, and sure enough, she's asleep! Funny as hell...

 

[calpha]

That is funny. I guess mine would do the same if I tallked long enough

 

[TripleJ]

LOL, that's funny. It's a better response than my gf at that time who would just nod off. I end up talking to myself.

 

[hungrypete]

when she chokes she runs for bathroom to spit?

I think its funny.....

 

[Tauren]

She chokes on her own spit. All the time! She'll start to say something and then burst into a coughing fit. I always crack up when I see she's O.K.

 

[yakko]

Says shes not married to me and ever since she got the starring role in Dark Angel she calls the police on me when I go see her at work.

 

[StageLeft]

LOL! I'm totally the other way around. I stay up later than mrs. skoorb most of the time but when we go to bed at the same time I want to sleep. Bed = sleep. However sometimes she wants to discuss the occasional important issue and if this goes on for more than 30 minutes I have to wrestle to stay awake. SHe doesn't like that

 

[calpha]

WEll seeing as how she'll never read this, I HOPE......

whenever she gets bad gas that time of the month, she pulls out her six shooter hadn gesture and shoots 'em at me.

 

[KeyserSoze]

<< Says shes not married to me and ever since she got the starring role in Dark Angel she calls the police on me when I go see her at work. >>




LOL



Sincerely
Chick's Boyfriend

 

[Kenazo]

wrestle to stay awake, huh?

 

[blakeatwork]

LOL...total opposite for me and my wife. She gets home around mdnight, at which time I have already been in bed for about an hour.... sometimes she wakes me up "accidentally", so she can talk to me about her day. I think i wake up sometimes, but last night I apparently told her to "fvck off"...:Q Heheheh, she smacked me a good one this mornign when we got up....

 

[Tauren]

<<whenever she gets bad gas that time of the month, she pulls out her six shooter hadn gesture and shoots 'em at me>

Waaaaaaaaaaay too much information! No sharing for you! One week!

 

[calpha]

Good ONe Blake.

If I catch my wife when she goes to the bathroom (half awake) and try to talk to her, she says all kinds of means things. If she gets mad enough, she'll hell......"Will you let me get some GD sleep?!!!!!!"

I always die laughing. The best part is that in the morning she SWARES she doesn't remember a thing

 

[StageLeft]

Apparently I'm kinda snippy in the middle of the night as well, and I never remember it!

 

[Optimus]

I really am not free to share as Elita is bound to see this thread when she signs on later...

But...


I will say I love what we have taken to calling her "Oofa face" or "Oofa voice" (no, its not dirty - you gutter minds ). She's about 5 months pregnant now with our second child and after a day of chasing our toddler about and walking, lifting, driving, etc - she gets her "Oofa voice and face" . Basically, its a face she gets as she walks around saying "Oof... oofa...oof" as she carries her growing belly (our son on the way!) about.

i.e.

She sits down on the couch saying "Oof..."
Then gets up - goes to get a drink with an "Oof"
Walks toward the bathroom to pee for the 8th time that hour saying "Ooofa"
Picks up our daughter with an "Oof"

And all the while she has the facial expression that just matches it perfectly. I tease her about it and we laugh (thanks goodness! ) adn have taken to calling it the "Oofa face". I can now call her on the phone from work and tell immediately too - "You've got an oofa face right now, right?"

(And yes, I help all I can, but she still has to do some things and thus the oofa face)


This probably makes zero sense to anyone whose wife (or who themselves) have not had a baby yet.

 

[calpha]

Well, no kids here yet, but I come from a big family, and last time my aunt was pregnat, only time she said ooofa was when she was eating......err, after she was done that is, cuz it took a damn crane to get her out of her seat. Man, I'm 6'4'' and 250(i wish--lol) and she could bury more at the dinner table than I could ever dream of.

 

[TripleJ]

ROFL Optimus, so kind and sensitive aren't you!

My Aunty is 8 1/2 months prego and she looks the same. Can't wait!

 

[Mindsink]

My wife and I like to gross each other out. Sometimes I'll take my brown-streaked underwear and chase her around the house with it. Conversely, she'll take her used and bloody maxi-pad and chase me with it. At times, we'll both be armed, and it will be like Luke vs. Darth Vader in a light-sabre duel to the death!

<--- happily married for 2 years

 

[yiwonder]

<< My wife and I like to gross each other out. Sometimes I'll take my brown-streaked underwear and chase her around the house with it. Conversely, she'll take her used and bloody maxi-pad and chase me with it. At times, we'll both be armed, and it will be like Luke vs. Darth Vader in a light-sabre duel to the death!

<--- happily married for 2 years >>


gee...what a pretty picture...

 

[calpha]

TMI stands for Too much information. But that is funny. Now, speaking of streaks, check this story out. (Not releated to title) I used to go to the Air Force Academy in another life (2 years, didn't grad). At one point, I had two roomates. One black and one white. We were great friends. At the end of each day, we'd throw our dirty clothes in the middle of the floor and pick them up first thing in the morning. Karamo (The black guy) always went to bed first, and would put his do-rag on and goto bed (our beds were bed units, on top of our desks). ONce Karamo got in bed, he was dead silent, never talking or acknowledging us, cuz his prime directive was sleep.

Well, one time, Ralph and I were sitting there working, and out of the BLUE, Karamo yells. "Da-ammmmn. Dem Some Tracks." Ralph had
Sh!tted up his underwear bad. Karamo started going "Chooo Chooo. Train comin through." Man, I was friggin dying. First and only time he ever stirred from his slumber. Never forget that laughter. One of the hardest times I ever laughed.

 

[bunker]

<< My wife and I like to gross each other out. Sometimes I'll take my brown-streaked underwear and chase her around the house with it. Conversely, she'll take her used and bloody maxi-pad and chase me with it. At times, we'll both be armed, and it will be like Luke vs. Darth Vader in a light-sabre duel to the death!

<--- happily married for 2 years >>


That's just sick and wrong.

 

[calpha]

Hey Bunker.

Cool Sig Man.

 

[StageLeft]

That's just sick and wrong.

Agreed.

 

[Mindsink]

Oh come on, like nobody else does that!