What's the perfect Anti-Zombie close combat weapon?

[pontifex]

Fine. Affix very large bayonet to it.

suppressor?

Melee weapons run the risk of you getting tired out. bladed weapons also run the risk of getting stuck in bone.

you also need room to swing.

 

[classy]

Why let the zombies get close in the first place

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d84r8gMGxFQ

 

[irishScott]

suppressor?

Melee weapons run the risk of you getting tired out. bladed weapons also run the risk of getting stuck in bone.

you also need room to swing.

A .223 suppressor is only going to get you ~30 decibels of reduction. The "pew pew" sound in movies is bullshit invented so James Bond can shoot people at close range and the guy standing 2 feet away doesn't hear. Unless you're using .22 lr.

 

[infoiltrator]

An instant acting antiviral agent or one that works on the "nerve" stem.

If not something like .22 incendiary ammo, fried brain should accomplish an antiviral role.

 

[pontifex]

A .223 suppressor is only going to get you ~30 decibels of reduction. The "pew pew" sound in movies is bullshit invented so James Bond can shoot people at close range and the guy standing 2 feet away doesn't hear. Unless you're using .22 lr.

yes i know

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Baseball bat. Or nail gun

 

[Schfifty Five]

My big black cock.

Too short, not enough reach.

 

[Mxylplyx]

Spiked mace

 

[waggy]

Why not? We're talking about fucking zombies.

I agree.

in that case i chose the death star as my weapon. i can laugh at everyone while you die. then i will just destroy the planet when you all are dead.

 

[RKS]

My big black cock.

How does this help?

 

[RKS]

How do you readily acquire an aluminum bat in Limeyland?

Would you have to do this:

 

[Jaepheth]

eskrima

Maybe made of titanium round bar or just a thick walled steel pipe if price is a concern.

Training is also readily available.

 

[Harrod]

 

[69Mach1]

Death Star was my second choice, my original thought was to beam up to the Enterprise and leave it all behind me. They can't reach me, and it seems impossible to save them, so no reason to stick around. Lots of things to see out in the Universe.

 

[chitwood]

Blades of Chaos. From the PS2 game God of War. Short swords with the blades attached to the hilt with long chains.

Longevity: They are crafted by Ares, the God of War. Longevity is presumed infinite. 10/10
Effectiveness: You will be a one man wrecking crew. 10/10
Portability: The Blades of Chaos are permanently seared onto the forearms of the wielder. So. 7/10
Messiness: We are talking ludicrous gibs. 0/10
Subtlety: Well they won't make a whole lot of noise, but whipping a pair of chains and swords around like a madman is bound to attract some attention to you. 4/10
Utility: Pretty sure these things were designed for one purpose only: to massacre your enemies. I'm sure you could get creative with them however. 2/10

The main advantage to the Blades of Chaos is their range. The chains allow a good 8-10 feet of distance between you and your targets. Also has extensive cleave damage allowing you to sweep your weapons around and hit numerous targets with one swing.

 

[Rocksinhead]

Seeing good choices and some absolutely horrible ones (in my opinion only)
Crossbows for close combat? Even if it's an automatic one that will reload your bows how many shots do you get with that before you're empty and would have to reload it yourself? Close quarters combat, to me, implies multiple zombies. If it's only 1 or 2 then why are you close to it?

This is a subject that has been debated much at my last job so we've gone through some weird options.

The sword made of metal whips someone posted would also seem not smart. Wildly swinging 5 metal whips around is a good way to cut yourself while cutting the zombies (which wouldn't kill them anyway)

Swords are nice until one gets stuck or the blade breaks. People like to cite these as proven weapons throughout history for killing. Yeah against people who will die if you stab them in the chest, gut or neck. Basically when you cut them in their soft fleshy parts or can get them to react to a painful cut on the arm/leg leaving an opening for a killing blow. Again not a concern of your everyday Zombie.

Brass knuckles? Gotta punch really hard (try doing that for even 5 minutes sometime and see how tiring that can be nonstop) and hope you don't break the fragile bones in your hand. Then you better be wearing gloves or any minor cut on your hand is a risk for infection as you repeatedly splatter zombie juice on it.

I've always figured any old blunt object would be better than a blade for damaging the brain. Just go out and get a coconut to mimic a human skull and try cutting it in half with a sword vs cracking it with a hammer or baseball bat. I'd be willing to bet the blade skips off it half the time.

There's also the problem of obtaining some of these weapons in such an emergency situation. How many homes have a baseball bat or hammer in it vs how many have a battle ready (modern ones are for show and will break way too easily) broadsword or katana? Yours might because you're cooler than your neighbors but you lose it in a scramble or running escape and what then? Not gonna forge your own. You can replace a bat or hammer or crowbar with a random piece of pipe if need be.

 

[sourceninja]

You'll run out of Ammo,
You'll attract attention from every thing around.
It's not close combat as per the title / OP.

I think that covered the flaws.

I think you discount the firearm as a club. My m1 garand is a fine club, almost impossible to break, and with ammo works as a very long range weapon.

My AK would also make a great club and a good medium range weapon. My Mosin Nagant is basically a huge club with a rare chance of a long range weapon. Blunderbuss was the weapon of choice for pirates because of large spread and the club factor.

You could design a custom stock for a weapon with good skull penetration and common ammo and have best of both worlds. I would personally go with something in .223/5.56.

 

[KidNiki1]

Blades of Chaos. From the PS2 game God of War. Short swords with the blades attached to the hilt with long chains.

Longevity: They are crafted by Ares, the God of War. Longevity is presumed infinite. 10/10
Effectiveness: You will be a one man wrecking crew. 10/10
Portability: The Blades of Chaos are permanently seared onto the forearms of the wielder. So. 7/10
Messiness: We are talking ludicrous gibs. 0/10
Subtlety: Well they won't make a whole lot of noise, but whipping a pair of chains and swords around like a madman is bound to attract some attention to you. 4/10
Utility: Pretty sure these things were designed for one purpose only: to massacre your enemies. I'm sure you could get creative with them however. 2/10

The main advantage to the Blades of Chaos is their range. The chains allow a good 8-10 feet of distance between you and your targets. Also has extensive cleave damage allowing you to sweep your weapons around and hit numerous targets with one swing.

BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! omg im laughing so hard at this...idk why....lolol!

also, ludicrous gibs would be a killer band name


those urumi things a few posts back are so cool!! i would be way too afraid of doing much more damage to myself than to the zombies, but those look like they would kick ass.

 

[Jaskalas]

Katana.

 

[CraigRT]

Katana
Because it kicks ass in Left 4 Dead 2

 

[janas19]

BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! omg im laughing so hard at this...idk why....lolol!

also, ludicrous gibs would be a killer band name

Lol, you found a gem in there!

 

[CraigRT]

BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! omg im laughing so hard at this...idk why....lolol!

also, ludicrous gibs would be a killer band name


those urumi things a few posts back are so cool!! i would be way too afraid of doing much more damage to myself than to the zombies, but those look like they would kick ass.

Rise of the Triad reference!! Great game.. Would love to see a sequel!

 

[KidNiki1]

Lol, you found a gem in there!

everytime i play god of war now, im going to be thinking in my head 'ludicrous gibs!!!!' as i hack away at the baddies...omfg lol!

 

[soulcougher73]

I think id take a mace as a few others have said.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Power Armor. Fast, mobile, fully sealed, strong enough to rip apart a tank with ease , resists up to light anti tank weaponry and has enough power to run for years.

Zombies can go suck it.