What's the stupidest thing you ever had to explain to somebody?

[ImpulsE69]

One time we were at the fair, and there was a kleidsdale there that was a little excited. My sister in law says "Ohhh...so THAT's why they call it horsecock!"

Another time, I came back from Afgahnistan and was showing the wife pictures, and we get to a picture of a local camel and she says "Ohhh..so THAT's why they call it cameltoe!"....that family..so sheltered.

 

[MotionMan]

I still seem to have to explain to people, at least once a month, that their "home" e-mail is not only accessible at home.

And I do not work in IT - I'm a lawyer.

(A perfect example of this is a relative by marriage who uses only his personal MacBook Pro for all his computing needs. When at home, he uses Mail to access his mail.

He called me from back East while vacationing and explained to me that he was have a hard time logging into webmail (it is our own domain). I asked if his MBP was not working? Is he at someone's house using their computer? Is he in the hotel business center? Nope - he figured he had to use the web login instead of Mail because he was not at home.)

MotionMan

 

[zanejohnson]

i didn't explain anything but earlier someone made a thread asking if lottery winnings money came from his tax payer dollars...i just closed the atot window.

 

[BoomerD]

I was driving my 69 VW beetle this summer when the engine over heated and shut off. I coasted into circular driveway and stopped. The homeowner came outside and I asked him if I could park there for a few minutes while the engine cooled off.
He said sure. Does your car need some water or antifreeze.
I said no it's air cooled.
He said what's the temp. gauge reading.
I said 220
He said sounds like your thermostat is sticking.
I said it's air cooled once again while opening up the engine compartment.
He pointed to the fuel pump and said that is the thermostat. If you tap on the thermostat it will make it open. Do you want me to get a screw driver and tap on it.
I said sure
He returned and tapped on my fuel pump with the screw driver
I checked my temp gauge and it was down to 180 so I fired it up and told the guy thanks and drove away
He looked pleased that he had solved my problem.

Back in the 60's, my step-brother's wife worked in a full-service gas station while he was stationed in Guam. One night, some guy pulled in for gas and asked her to check the water in the radiator...she spent about 30 minutes looking for the radiator. The guy kept getting madder and madder at her because it was taking so long. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore and explained it to her...then gave her a $50 tip for being a good sport about it.
(typical dumb blonde...more boobs than brains)
We all enjoyed a good laugh at her expense...and she learned something.

 

[Ricemarine]

Non-family: How do you use a flash drive?
Family: How do you access My Pictures? I want to move my pictures from the other folder to here. How do I do that?

 

[dmcowen674]

That you don't have to show ID or fill out any paperwork in order to purchase Balsamic Vinegar at Target.

Turns out it was for the Liquid Drano.

The girl cashier and I did not know about the new law in Illinois.

She thought it was for the vinegar.

You have to sign a consent form for any acidic products such as Drano.

I expect apologies from the resident peanut gallery.

 

[chubbyfatazn]

Explaining to my HS gf that jumping up and down after sex is not valid birth control method.

It is, after, oh, maybe 7 or 8 months :biggrin:

 

[CZroe]

I still seem to have to explain to people, at least once a month, that their "home" e-mail is not only accessible at home.

And I do not work in IT - I'm a lawyer.

(A perfect example of this is a relative by marriage who uses only his personal MacBook Pro for all his computing needs. When at home, he uses Mail to access his mail.

He called me from back East while vacationing and explained to me that he was have a hard time logging into webmail (it is our own domain). I asked if his MBP was not working? Is he at someone's house using their computer? Is he in the hotel business center? Nope - he figured he had to use the web login instead of Mail because he was not at home.)

MotionMan

VERY often you will find SMTP and POP requests unroutable outside of a particular ISP. Other times they will allow POP but not SMTP (receive but can't can't send). It's a serious problem with smart phones if your ISP doesn't have a good IMAP or Exchange alternative. When it works, it's usually just because the place that "wasn't home" had the same ISP.

 

[lxskllr]

Turns out it was for the Liquid Drano.

The girl cashier and I did not know about the new law in Illinois.

She thought it was for the vinegar.

You have to sign a consent form for any acidic products such as Drano.

I expect apologies from the resident peanut gallery.

I thought Drano was alkali. Never used it. A plunger or snake has always worked for me.

 

[CZroe]

I always touched the case and grounded myself that way before grabbing a part. In over 15 years of handling cards, memory, HD's, ect I've never lost a device to static shock.

I hear this silly logic all the time when, in reality, you wouldn't know what caused the failure. You seem to be expecting a noticable discharge and a suddenly inoperable gadget but, when it actually does cause an instant problem, it's more often that you are troubleshooting something fixable and determine that it is broken beyond repair or unstable and flaky, which actually happened during troubleshooting. Other times it causes an instability that goes unnoticed until it worsens much later, like bad caps.

 

[MotionMan]

VERY often you will find SMTP and POP requests unroutable outside of a particular ISP. Other times they will allow POP but not SMTP (receive but can't can't send). It's a serious problem with smart phones if your ISP doesn't have a good IMAP or Exchange alternative. When it works, it's usually just because the place that "wasn't home" had the same ISP.

I know.

That wasn't the problem with webmail (he was entering the wrong login AND password).

And he had not tried using Mail (which did work without issues, btw).

MotionMan

 

[nageov3t]

I routinely have to (try to) explain to my mom why her laptop has wireless internet in her house but not at her office.

 

[sourceninja]

I cooked a nice lentil soup. My wife told me lentils are her favorite kind of pasta....

 

[MotionMan]

I routinely have to (try to) explain to my mom why her laptop has wireless internet in her house...

I thought you were going to say something like "but she still has to plug it in every once in a while because it does not have wireless power."

Sadly, I have had that conversation twice.

MotionMan

 

[dank69]

That's true, the last time Alkemyst lost his wallet Greece went bankrupt.

Oh, HAL. You went from the forum's biggest newb to dropping zingers like a pro. I'm proud of you, kiddo.

 

[69Mach1]

I once had to translate English to English at work. We had a Consultant from Wales (who had a very strong Welsh accent) trying to have a conversation with a Mexican American Supervisor ( who learned English in Texas, think Mexican accent with a pronounced drawl), neither could understand each other at all. They were both perfectly clear to me, but it is hard to translate while laughing so hard my ribs hurt.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

A client spent thousands of dollars on a remodel and moving a computer, unbeknownst to me. Monitors stayed where they were, computer was moved into a shelving unit. Then having to explain how the dual monitor setup they have doesn't work the same way as their wireless keyboard and mouse. Those monitors don't run off AA batteries and a small USB receiver...They wanted it to be a clean setup with no wires.

 

[StrangerGuy]

Putting a sticker over the optical sensor stops the mouse from working.

Really sad.

 

[Wyndru]

Trying to explain to my crazy polish father-in-law that he does not have people hacking into his computer causing hardware damage to his computer. He thinks someone hacked in and caused his laptop battery to stop working, and also his screen on his monitor recently died to, he thinks someone did that remotely.

I also have to keep explaining to him that adult themed popups on his computer does not mean that he has real prostitutes "propositioning" him.

 

[MotionMan]

A client spent thousands of dollars on a remodel and moving a computer, unbeknownst to me. Then having to explain how the dual monitor setup they have doesn't work the same way as their wireless keyboard and mouse. Those monitors don't run off AA batteries and a small USB receiver...

Your story is not clear. Did they move the computer, but did not provide for power in the new location?

MotionMan

 

[SearchMaster]

Back in the 60's, my step-brother's wife worked in a full-service gas station while he was stationed in Guam. One night, some guy pulled in for gas and asked her to check the water in the radiator...she spent about 30 minutes looking for the radiator. The guy kept getting madder and madder at her because it was taking so long. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore and explained it to her...then gave her a $50 tip for being a good sport about it.
(typical dumb blonde...more boobs than brains)
We all enjoyed a good laugh at her expense...and she learned something.

She made $50 for a half-hour of non-work - she's not as dumb as you think.

 

[DaWhim]

telling my friend that getting his cousin from canada to US to open bank account and setting up a business here using his name won't help him to evade taxes in US.

 

[anyusername]

Explaining to my father that the internet does not shut down once you close your browser.

 

[OutHouse]

trying to explain to my wife how the house thermostat works.....

for some reason she can not understand that on a very hot days if the thermostat is reading 78 and the A/C is set for 74 and is running, TURNING THE A/C TEMP DOWN to 70 WILL NOT MAKE THE HOUSE COOL DOWN!!!! GAH@@@@

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Your story is not clear. Did they move the computer, but did not provide for power in the new location?

MotionMan

Sorry, just moved the tower, they wanted the receptionist area to be cable free.