What's the worst thing you ever just blurted out?

[Locut0s]

Every now and then we all say stupid things that either upset others or get us into trouble. And I'm talking here mostly about things that we don't really believe in or mean the way they sound, they just slip out when your brain is turned off for a few critical seconds. These are things that happen once in a blue moon, and are NOT things that represent who you are or how you act, but they sure can embarrass and get us into trouble. What's the worst thing you've accidentally blurted out. Or at least the worst thing you are willing to admit to? Did it get you into trouble? What were the consequences?

Only two that I can remember aren't that bad or are lame but here they are.

One was when I was a kid and a good friend of mine started talking about his cousin. For some stupid reason I excitedly said "is he dead!?". No idea why I said that, got me into shit with my friend for several days as you can imagine. I was probably upset at him for something and didn't realize it.

Another happened more recently. They were replacing a coworker of mine with another guy I knew from another store. The guy being replaced was going back to school, not getting fired. I said out loud "well that'll be better" just about in ear shot of the guy being replaced. I tried to correct that with "I mean for sales" this guy didn't really do sales. Luckily he didn't hear it or it didn't bother him.

 

[MarkXIX]

I blurted out my stance that strippers are smart business people because they take what they were given and make good money from it, all the while forgetting my brother's sister-in-law was a stripper. She was 5 feet away and heard it all right along with the rest of the family, her husband included.

 

[Locut0s]

I blurted out my stance that strippers are smart business people because they take what they were given and make good money from it, all the while forgetting my brother's sister-in-law was a stripper. She was 5 feet away and heard it all right along with the rest of the family, her husband included.

Doesn't really sound like a bad situation considering you were saying a good thing about them. But yeah I can imagine the DOH moment when you remembered.

 

[ImpulsE69]

I was changing careers and after 2 phone and 2 in person interviews with potential coworkers I was hired. They flew me to their home office in Dallas to meet the bosses etc. I'd been there a few days and through various conversations with my immediate supervisor I had mentioned I didn't smoke and never had.

I went out with all the bigwigs to lunch one day and they were all talking about getting a drink. They asked me what I drink (and yes I drink..heavy stuff ) but I don't drink during work and I said so. Supervisor turns to me and says, wow..you don't smoke, you don't drink, what DO you do?

Trying to be funny (and calm my nerves) I immediately come back with: No, I don't do any of that but I sure do love the cocaine! (and ran my finger across my nose as I sniffed). I regretted it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

They all just stopped and looked at me for a moment to see if I was serious. I thought for sure I just blew my new job lol. After a few seconds we all started laughing. While it went well (and they never drug tested me lol) I don't recommend it as an ice breaker when meeting new bosses.

 

[Locut0s]

I was changing careers and after 2 phone and 2 in person interviews with potential coworkers I was hired. They flew me to their home office in Dallas to meet the bosses etc. I'd been there a few days and through various conversations with my immediate supervisor I had mentioned I didn't smoke and never had.

I went out with all the bigwigs to lunch one day and they were all talking about getting a drink. They asked me what I drink (and yes I drink..heavy stuff ) but I don't drink during work and I said so. Supervisor turns to me and says, wow..you don't smoke, you don't drink, what DO you do?

Trying to be funny (and calm my nerves) I immediately come back with: No, I don't do any of that but I sure do love the cocaine! (and ran my finger across my nose as I sniffed). I regretted it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

They all just stopped and looked at me for a moment to see if I was serious. I thought for sure I just blew my new job lol. After a few seconds we all started laughing. While it went well (and they never drug tested me lol) I don't recommend it as an ice breaker when meeting new bosses.

lol epic, good thing they took it as the joke it was.

 

[MotionMan]

I have a very good friend who has a tragic family background - 3 suicides in her immediate family in about 4 years.

She and I were talking one day about a month after the most recent suicide and she asked me how something was (work, life, car...whatever). For some strange reason that I still do not understand to this day I said,

"Not great, but nothing to kill myself over."

I froze, then I moved on to talk about something else.

Oddly, I never use that phrase, so I am convinced it was something subconscious combined with nervousness.

MotionMan

 

[SandEagle]

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.
One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.
“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”

“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was fuckin’ hot.
And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two
PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about
you? How’d you get yours?”

“Something similar actually! I was just having dinner with my wife,
and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the
peas?’ But I slipped up and said “You fucking bitch you ruined my
life!”

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Fire alarm went off in school

I jump up and yell 'HOLY SHIT'

 

[mnewsham]

There was this one time my mom wanted me home by midnight from a party, I wasn't really thinking when I said it but, i just blurted out "N**** da fuck, that's early" I say it all the time with friends and shit, but I had never said it with/to her. She was not really amused...

 

[highland145]

The list and the embarrassments are too many.:'(

However, someone else I know who's brain to mouth filter doesn't work....

"Kelly" draws blood at the hospital. Goes in to draw from a pregnant young teen (~14). He Dad is in the room.
Teen:Oh, Dad, come hold my hand. She's going to stick me.
Kelly: Daddy wasn't holding your hand when you got like this........or was he?:hmm:

Oh, snap. did I just say that.

 

[mnewsham]

The list and the embarrassments are too many.:'(

However, someone else I know who's brain to mouth filter doesn't work....

"Kelly" draws blood at the hospital. Goes in to draw from a pregnant young teen (~14). He Dad is in the room.
Teen:Oh, Dad, come hold my hand. She's going to stick me.
Kelly: Daddy wasn't holding your hand when you got like this........or was he?:hmm:

Oh, snap. did I just say that.

Damn... :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

 

[arcenite]

When doing one of my internships my boss liked to ask me "Where are you going?" as it was time to leave. It didn't happen often but often enough that it got 'old'.

So one time I was in a particularly bad mood and he asked me. My response?

"Oh, your wife called."

 

[lokiju]

Not really exactly wrong what I said but still was taken the wrong way and blown way out of scale.

Happened when my wife was pregnant and hormones were raging and causing her to cry and get mad all over the most asinine things it seemed.

She takes X-rays (X-ray tech) for a busy and large doctors office.

I was on the phone with her mid-day for some reason or another and said something along the lines of "guess it's not very busy right now?" (assuming since she was able to talk on the phone) she said "nope" and I said "so I guess you have no patients?"

For whatever reason she took it as "patience" though and just went ape shit about it. Said something along the lines of "you know I'm having issues with my patience!!!" and "how could you make a comment like that!?!?!" called me names, etc.

I was like "uhhhh, wtf just happened?" totally not what I said or meant and she just wouldn't hear it.

So lesson learned, women who are pregnant can be crazy at times.

Just this past weekend though, I had a house full of guest from out of state. Was my Mom and Dad, my in-laws. My Brother and his wife and their son. Then my brother in-law who lives nearby was over with his girlfriend. Plus myself, my wife and my son.

Very full house.

TV is on and there's some commercial for some show on I think the Discovery channel or one like that where it's called something like "the 1st 7 days" or something along those lines that's about people going to prison and what takes place in their first week being in there.

One guy on the commercial said something like "this is my first time being in prison and I don't know what to expect"

Well my Dad for some reasons decides to make a stance that the guy is full of shit and that everyone that says that is a liar and is a repeat offender and a worthless sack of shit.

Me, knowing that my sister in-law is sitting right there who's father is in prison and has been for most of her life, I said something along the lines of "that's not true, everyone that goes in there has had their 1st time and besides they're still humans and you can't just blanket say every single person in there has always been or will always be a terrible person and some people just do the wrong thing for what they think is the right reason and it lands them in there".

My Dad didn't want to agree and said how everyone who is in prison is a worthless sack of shit and a drain on society.

I'm cringing at this point and my Mom turns around to look at my Dad and gives him a "STFU!!" look and he goes "oh!" and drops it.

Such a facepalm moment of the weekend.

Only other time I can think of was last winter at a different job a group of us all went out to lunch and I turned on my seat heaters for my Forester and we're driving for a bit and the guy in the passenger seat starts squirming and wondering why the hell is ass is getting hot. I said something like "your ass hot?" but he took it like I said "your ass is hot!"



I paused and said "maybe I should of phrased that differently"

We were all laughing hard about that.

 

[IronWing]

One of my coworkers, a blond viking woman, came into the Monday morning staff meeting with her hair dyed brown. Before thinking, I blurted out "So, do you feel smarter yet?" My boss and my boss' boss were both present and blond.

 

[RearAdmiral]

There was this one time my mom wanted me home by midnight from a party, I wasn't really thinking when I said it but, i just blurted out "N**** da fuck, that's early" I say it all the time with friends and shit, but I had never said it with/to her. She was not really amused...

Lol.

I said white power during my trip to Ghana in Africa, multiple times. Even during conversations. If you speak fast enough you can slip in words that non-native speakers won't pick up. I got to check that one off my bucket list:

Saying white power in Africa....Le check.

 

[Pardus]

someone at work said don't go into the mens room for a few hours, it sounds like someone is pushing out a baby.

 

[LookBehindYou]

While in a serious meeting with our Group Commander, Squadron Commanders, and other offices I became the jackass of the day. The topic was upgrading the WSA, I felt the need to blurt out that we needed a biday (sp?) because it was more sanitary and would boost morale. I received many blank stares and the Group Commander (full bird) looked at me like I was retarded. I wasn't allowed to the meetings ever again and my commander would just have me let him know if i had anything important to relay.

 

[LookBehindYou]

I have a very good friend who has a tragic family background - 3 suicides in her immediate family in about 4 years.

She and I were talking one day about a month after the most recent suicide and she asked me how something was (work, life, car...whatever). For some strange reason that I still do not understand to this day I said,

"Not great, but nothing to kill myself over."

I froze, then I moved on to talk about something else.

Oddly, I never use that phrase, so I am convinced it was something subconscious combined with nervousness.

MotionMan

Damn that sucks. I can relate though, my wife had three brothers, 2 commited suicide the third died in a car wreck, all within about a 3 year period.

 

[Texashiker]

What's the worst thing you ever just blurted out?

Standing in hall talking to co-worker before the start of the day

Lady walks by

I say something like "hi, <insert name here> you look nice today" just as she turns to unlock her office door

She thinks I am talking about her butt, files sexual harassment complaint against me.

Lesson learned - its better to tell someone they are fat and ugly, then to tell them they look nice.

 

[slag]

"Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store!"

They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears

 

[Phoenix86]

Ohhhh fuuuuuuuuu---
dge!!!

 

[nutxo]

I ran into a friend and his wife several years ago.

Me to friends wife " So when ya gonna have that kid?"

Her " I had it 2 months ago" Then the tears started.....

More recently.
My wife is a home health care provider and has a client that wont eat lunch unless she eats lunch with him. My wife had the week off for Xmas and when she picked up her pay from her daughter her daughter told her that her Dad was worried about my wife skipping lunch for a week.
My wife relayed this all to me. She could lose a few pounds and thought this was hilarious. My stupid reply was " Because you're dangerously thin and wasting away?"

I'm still in trouble....

 

[manimal]

I like turtles

 

[CPA]

Not the worst, but the most recent:

Last week, I ordered some pizza for dinner. The place we order is owned and employs mostly Indians (from India). It was rainy and wet outside. Indian dude with turban delivers the pizza, says "happy holidays". In my attempt to be cheerful and constructive, I meant to say:

"You too, stay dry"

Instead, I blurted out:

"You too, stay white"

somehow my brain mixed up dry and wet and it came out white. My kids heard me and busted out laughing. I tried to correct myself, but was bent over in embarrassment, and yelled "Stay wet!.....I mean stay dry"

 

[Arkaign]

The most recent hilarious moment.

My GF and I were in WalMart doing some shopping, and this lady (incidentally a black lady) almost ran my GF over running towards the checkout with her shopping cart. My GF was like what the hell? I told her, she must have been in a hurry to eat her watermelon! Which was in fact, all that was in the lady's shopping cart. GF was like "what are you saying racist things for?", and I pointed to the cart and said I'm not saying something racist, there it is.