What's the worst thing you ever just blurted out?

[geecee]

I recall about 10 years ago while in my cube at the office talking to a friend on the phone, I said rather inconspicuously, "What kind of JEW are you?!", within earshot of several orthodox Jewish coworkers. Of course, I was talking to my non-religious Jewish friend, and expressing fake outrage over the fact that he took every Jewish religious holiday off (even minor ones), even though he hadn't set foot in a synagogue since he was like 7 years old. Rather embarrassing moment.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

"I love you."

Done it a few times. It can go either way, but as the expression goes;
"consequences will never be the same."

 

[apac]

"I love you."

Done it a few times. It can go either way, but as the expression goes;
"consequences will never be the same."

I've done that one, but I was blacked-out drunk at the time and remembered nothing the next day. Several months later, when I had that talk with the girl, she burst out laughing when I said it for real. Whoops.

 

[Macamus Prime]

I was bringing a file over to a co-worker, she was 1 cubical over from where she sits and I said; "Ok, here you go. I'll just drop it off on your chest." I wanted to say chair.

She had a HUGE chest.

I walked away with a squinty look to my face and then apologized to her.

She was totally cool with it.

Also, about 5 people heard me say it as well.

 

[Rage187]

After my wife gave birth, "thank god, she looks like me"
After our vet told us how much the surgery for our cat was going to be "kittens are free"
while trying to hook up my friend with one of my wife's friends "do you have any cute friends?"
While discussing if my wife should have her tubes tied or if I should get a vescetomy "what if we divorce and I want to have another child?"

 

[Rage187]

Wasn't me but a real southern coworker kicked open the door to the test lab and yelled "IT SMELLS LIKE GAY SEX IN HERE!

What he did not realize was that the VP of Engineering, who just happens to be gay, was behind two test racks showing our software to some potential investors.

Later that day he walks by and whispers to me "I was dead right"

 

[Sixguns]

The worst for me would be about a year ago. A coworker died (her car was hit by a train) and some friends from work were in my office talking about things. They both were really close with her, so I was there as kind of a ear just to listen. After about an hour of them talking, I went to take some Advil since I had a headache. They both asked what was wrong and with out thinking I tell them " my head hurts so bad, it feels like I was hit by a train". I felt so bad and the look on there face was just terrible. Both started to cry and left my office.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

The dumbest thing wasn't a verbal blurt out, but was an IM many, many years ago. I was making fun of a girl who was obviously cold (hint, hint) but instead of sending it to my friend, I accidentally sent it to her. If looks could kill.......

 

[Patranus]

"worst" is such a relative term......

 

[Stuxnet]

IndyColts just reminded me of a bad 'net send' command...

I was in a 2 week Java bootcamp with two friends/coworkers and we were net sending back and forth. I net sended 'fuck this shit when is lunch' but got the computer name wrong, and up it went to the instructor's computer and projector. My buddies of course died laughing, totally betraying my guilt. Instructor was none too happy.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

IndyColts just reminded me of a bad 'net send' command...

I was in a 2 week Java bootcamp with two friends/coworkers and we were net sending back and forth. I net sended 'fuck this shit when is lunch' but got the computer name wrong, and up it went to the instructor's computer and projector. My buddies of course died laughing, totally betraying my guilt. Instructor was none too happy.

An idiot coworker tried to send a net send command to my computer saying "IndyColtsFan is a loser" but she forgot to include the computer name -- YEAH, not good. The entire domain received it, IIRC.

 

[spidey07]

Oh how precious, when are you due?

 

[bobdole369]

I grew up white-trash outside Detroit. There is a large population of Arabic people. Growing up we white-trash referred to our olive-skinned brethren as "camel-jockeys" As often someone of Arab descent would own the neighborhood "party store" (think 7-11 with liquor, porno, groceries, often hot food, occasionally pipes/bongs, and check cashing), thus a trip to the party store for "pop" or beer and cigarettes would be announced throughout the house with: "I'M GOING TO THE CAMELJOCKEYS ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?"

(BTW pronounce camel jockeys as all one word, slurred l/j junction so: "cammajockeys" is close enough.)

So when I was 8 - we were in a very ethnic party store and I shouted out "MOM! You promised me that I could go get ice cream once you finished getting screwed by the cameljockeys!" (she was paying a bill, cashing a check, buying cigarettes and beer, and playing the lottery. Yay mom...)

She fucking backhanded me like I said something wrong instead of just embarrassing her.

 

[bobdole369]

An idiot coworker tried to send a net send command to my computer saying "IndyColtsFan is a loser" but she forgot to include the computer name -- YEAH, not good. The entire domain received it, IIRC.

People still use net send? people still run the messenger service? This isn't trapped by the router? LOL this happened at a call center I worked at too in like 1999. "Byte Me" if I recall.

 

[Stuxnet]

People still use net send? people still run the messenger service? This isn't trapped by the router? LOL this happened at a call center I worked at too in like 1999. "Byte Me" if I recall.

FWIW, the incident I described occurred in early 2001 on a tiny little network at a fly-by-night cert mill.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

People still use net send? people still run the messenger service? This isn't trapped by the router? LOL this happened at a call center I worked at too in like 1999. "Byte Me" if I recall.

The incident was nearly 10 years ago and the workstation OS at the time was NT, where the messenger service was enabled by default. For whatever reason, the routers apparently didn't stop them because we got calls from our facilities in Japan (HA!) asking about the message.

 

[StrangeRanger]

Ages ago sitting around playing some drinking games with friends. I think we were playing Asshole because I remember it involved a deck of cards.
We were in my girlfriends apartment that she shared with another girl. They had some other friends over, 3 of which were gay guys.
We were well into the game, and one of the guys plays a card that kills my hand or whatever. And I just go "Oh, you fuckin' cock sucker".
The guy Craig, just smiles at me and says "Yeah, but I don't drag my teeth".
We're still good friends almost 20 yrs later. But I've never been more embarrassed. LOL

 

[apac]

The dumbest thing wasn't a verbal blurt out, but was an IM many, many years ago. I was making fun of a girl who was obviously cold (hint, hint) but instead of sending it to my friend, I accidentally sent it to her. If looks could kill.......

Oh yeah, the number of bad IMs I've had is astounding. The worst was while typing with a friend of mine about the 2 girls I was sort of dating, and he asked for pics. I sent him the pic of girl #1, and then accidentally copied the pic of girl #2 to the wrong window - the window where I was chatting with girl #1. My last message, "I can't hang on Saturday night I've got plans", was now followed by a hot pic of the other girl.

I can still remember the shocked feeling of horror when I realized what happened. That was a hard one to worm my way out of.

 

[Saint Nick]

If there is one thing I've ever learned, it is to never assume a big woman is pregnant, and never assume a pregnant woman is fat, even though they are.

 

[gevorg]

Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.

 

[Rumpltzer]

While in a serious meeting with our Group Commander, Squadron Commanders, and other offices I became the jackass of the day. The topic was upgrading the WSA, I felt the need to blurt out that we needed a biday (sp?) because it was more sanitary and would boost morale. I received many blank stares and the Group Commander (full bird) looked at me like I was retarded. I wasn't allowed to the meetings ever again and my commander would just have me let him know if i had anything important to relay.

Boost morale? I've never tried this thing, and I'm not following the part about improved morale.

Anyone?

 

[SilverThief]

Not me, but my daughter:

She was maybe 6 at the time, and we had just sat down in the movie theater. Middle row, dead center. She was angry at me for not buying her something....cant recall...and she just folds her arms across her chest and blurts out at the top of her lungs: "I hate black people!"
The entire movie theater went dead silent, and every single person in there turned in their seats and looked right at me.
I tried to play it off by looking around to see where it had come from, but no dice....they all knew it was my kid.

 

[Rage187]

Some work IMs that are funny:


We were in training 2 of 2 on some new 3rd party software that we had to write an integration with. It was done via Webex. Part way through we see a chat box come up that says.

"it would help if the guy training us knew the software."

And that totally made it into the recording for people who could not make it.


This happened in a meeting I was in. Guy is giving a ppt, a popup chat from one of his cohorts in the firmware department:

"f$ck this place. I got a second interview."

 

[zinfamous]

I was changing careers and after 2 phone and 2 in person interviews with potential coworkers I was hired. They flew me to their home office in Dallas to meet the bosses etc. I'd been there a few days and through various conversations with my immediate supervisor I had mentioned I didn't smoke and never had.

I went out with all the bigwigs to lunch one day and they were all talking about getting a drink. They asked me what I drink (and yes I drink..heavy stuff ) but I don't drink during work and I said so. Supervisor turns to me and says, wow..you don't smoke, you don't drink, what DO you do?

Trying to be funny (and calm my nerves) I immediately come back with: No, I don't do any of that but I sure do love the cocaine! (and ran my finger across my nose as I sniffed). I regretted it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

They all just stopped and looked at me for a moment to see if I was serious. I thought for sure I just blew my new job lol. After a few seconds we all started laughing. While it went well (and they never drug tested me lol) I don't recommend it as an ice breaker when meeting new bosses.

Awwwwwkward!

 

[zinfamous]

Not me, but my daughter:

She was maybe 6 at the time, and we had just sat down in the movie theater. Middle row, dead center. She was angry at me for not buying her something....cant recall...and she just folds her arms across her chest and blurts out at the top of her lungs: "I hate black people!"
The entire movie theater went dead silent, and every single person in there turned in their seats and looked right at me.
I tried to play it off by looking around to see where it had come from, but no dice....they all knew it was my kid.