this year, I told my SO that:
-I don't want anything
-I'm not planning on getting him anything
-and if he wants to commemorate the holidays in some fashion, let's go out to an upscale meal and split the bill and that can be our gift to eachother.
we ended up going out to a nice meal (I paid) and driving down to Atlantic City for the night (he drove/paid for gas and got a comp'd room). it worked out about evenly and was an enjoyable evening (not counting the $600 he blew over the course of about an hour).
hopefully we'll be doing something similar next year.
my big concern right now is his birthday in February... he's going to be out of town on his birthday proper, but I'm thinking about cooking some of his favorite foods when he comes back (bbq bacon cheeseburgers, onion rings, mac and cheese, and maybe a cheesecake) and getting him a couple small gifts.
hopefully he follows suit with my own birthday. he makes a shitton more than me (like, almost my salary with an extra 0 at the end) but I'd still feel weird if he went all-out even if he could afford it.