When is it ok to ask people how much they make

[OBLAMA2009]

i would never ask that and i would never expect someone to answer that. having said that, people offer that type of info in conversation all the time

 

[Svnla]

Asian people in Asia asked me all the time, and whether I am married or not. Different culture I guess.

I usually said I make enough for a comfortable lifestyle. To me, a person's salary is his/her business and no one else. Period.

 

[alkemyst]

Only if you are true friends and no one will get butt hurt that someone makes epic more amounts.

Normally in my experience this only occurs when the question is "I really want to do what you do, what do you make?" Of course all the how and why was already hashed out.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Of course there is. Don't be so silly. Hell, ask that guy making $19k how he likes it.

And then tell him you DO want fries with that burger.

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

The best way to get around this is to laugh it off and cover it with a joke. If they push, give them an answer they like (just not a number). If they really push then that's when you tell them you don't talk about work specifics. Done.

 

[alkemyst]

The best way to get around this is to laugh it off and cover it with a joke. If they push, give them an answer they like (just not a number). If they really push then that's when you tell them you don't talk about work specifics. Done.

Bro, you are picking the topic of "how is it ok to react when people as you what you make"

I am guessing you are sub-high 5 figures.

 

[BikeJunkie]

When is it ok to ask people how much they make

When you're a loan officer.

 

[BikeJunkie]

wrt to the OP's situation, the proper response to "how much do you make" is "what is your Social Security Number?"

It makes a clear point with a thin coat of humor. Enough to keep things light while conveying the message "don't ask again, idiot"

This has been my response the few times I've found myself in this absurd situation (and it IS absurd - the guy was being a jaggoff). It works without causing a scene or any permanent damage. It also sets a very firm boundary that shouldn't have required establishing in the first place.

 

[gorcorps]

Eh, I'm not nearly as sensitive about it. But enough people are that strangers should not be asking. Tell him you'd rather not say and move on.

 

[edro]

Just double your salary and tell them that figure.

You have nothing to lose by lying... and everything to gain. (shame on their part)

 

[_Rick_]

Why does it bother anyone to be asked how much they make?
Is it because income is somewhat like penis size?

I think it's important to know how much other people make, so you can evaluate your own value in the work force, and not get raped by an exploiting employer. Also, across fields, you can judge whether changing the field is interesting or viable.

I don't see a problem with anyone making more or less money than me. I don't get why it's become so taboo, but the employer is the only winner of the secrecy in which you shroud your income.

Maybe I lack that sensitivity because I was brought up in stingy, but comfortable financial conditions. When you assume, that as long as you don't spend money beyond the necessary, there's always enough of it, income somehow loses its relevance.

Oh, and it's also important to know how much of a financial hit you take by going into public service, versus private business. Especially in academia, knowing that difference is important, and asking someone how much they make, if I'm interested in their field is only natural.

 

[BikeJunkie]

Why does it bother anyone to be asked how much they make?
Is it because income is somewhat like penis size?

That's a pretty simplistic and cliche assumption don't you think? I'm quite satisfied with both my penis and salary, but asking me about either one is pretty presumptuous and familiar.

 

[slugg]

I always reply with "not enough."

 

[jaedaliu]

I always reply with "not enough."

I answer "I'm doing okay, would love more, but I'm doing okay." or something like that.

 

[Veliko]

Of course there is. Don't be so silly. Hell, ask that guy making $19k how he likes it.

So precisely what is wrong with a 35 year old making 19k?

 

[_Rick_]

That's a pretty simplistic and cliche assumption don't you think? I'm quite satisfied with both my penis and salary, but asking me about either one is pretty presumptuous and familiar.

The way some posters go on about it in their kind submissions to this thread, I got the idea. "Oh, I feel so inadequate and won't be able to satiate a female's hunger, because my paycheck is too small" has been a recurring theme.
"I have to show it if I want to get married, eventually!"

It's a bit ridiculous, if you ask me. If you're already talking about your job, might as well talk about the salary. If you're talking about being on the stock market, might as well talk about your placements and gains. Some threads are useless without pictures, and some discussions are pointless without numbers.

 

[BikeJunkie]

The way some posters go on about it in their kind submissions to this thread, I got the idea. "Oh, I feel so inadequate and won't be able to satiate a female's hunger, because my paycheck is too small" has been a recurring theme.
"I have to show it if I want to get married, eventually!"

It's a bit ridiculous, if you ask me. If you're already talking about your job, might as well talk about the salary. If you're talking about being on the stock market, might as well talk about your placements and gains. Some threads are useless without pictures, and some discussions are pointless without numbers.

Generally speaking, someone's financial situation is considered rather personal territory. If you're having a two-way conversation about salary that both parties invited, that's one thing. But that's not what the OP described. A total stranger jumped right into "what do you do? how much do you make?" You might be comfortable with that, but it's still very familiar and not very wise ice-breaking conversation in any professional circle. You can have a perfectly informative conversation about careers without asking what someone makes. I've been doing it for 15+ years and have never felt the need to ask about someone's financials.

 

[Genx87]

If I ran across something like this. I'd ask "what do you make?" Then add one dollar.

 

[AViking]

I'll tackle this one.

REALLY DEPENDS.

I can never figure out which cultures this is acceptable in. I have friends from all over the place and everyone is different and it can get confusing. Some people are so secretive about their money that it's almost uncomfortable talking to them since they'll say something like "YES I MADE THIS HUGE DEAL AT WORK AND I AM SO HAPPY!" and if you ask them how much they made they look at you funny or make a snide comment like you asked them how small their penis is. Well why did you bring it up then?! Why discuss housing if you aren't going to discuss prices? Do people talk politics in the 3rd person keeping it non-personal? Their love life? Of course not. Don't expect money to be this super secretive thing all the time.

If you're talking to a brand spanking new person and you're in the same peer group as them, such as in a work meeting, then asking how much you make is really just comparing penis size though. Not appropriate. However in a different situation I don't find the question that odd if it's coming from someone that is say looking for a job or if you've been sitting and talking real estate and stock portfolios for 20 minutes already. Some do though. You gotta be able to feel this out.

I find that salaries are far more commonly discussed today with the economy doing so poorly. People want to make sure they're not being hosed or they are looking for something better. Don't take it personally.

 

[AViking]

Within about 2 minutes of me sitting down this guy next to me asked me what I do for a living. Than after that he asked me so how much do you make ?

Incidentally I had this happen all the time in Los Angeles. One of the main reasons I moved. If the first thing someone wants to know about me is my finances they are no friend of mine.

 

[Ganiy]

I cannot realize why many people have such interest in how much someone makes. It is the stupidest question to the strange person. Sure, if you have friends and they ask you about your salary, it is ok, but totally strange person - never.

 

[rudeguy]

meh...why is it such a big deal?

If someone asks how much I make, I tell them I do ok. If they persist, I tell them $8/hour. Its a lie but its none of their business. It usually shuts them up.

 

[TXHokie]

I work with computers. I make about 50, give or take 100.

 

[SheHateMe]

I have interest.....but only because I'm about to be fresh out of College and there are several paths in IT I could take.

Like, I'd ask a Sys Admin friend (that I was cool with, of course) just to see what its like. Are you underpaid? Do you feel like you get paid what you're worth? How is the job? etc.


If it seems like it makes them feel uncomfortable, I'd just back off.

So far, nobody has had a problem. Granted, I've only asked 3 people this question.

 

[rudeguy]

I have interest.....but only because I'm about to be fresh out of College and there are several paths in IT I could take.

Like, I'd ask a Sys Admin friend (that I was cool with, of course) just to see what its like. Are you underpaid? Do you feel like you get paid what you're worth? How is the job? etc.


If it seems like it makes them feel uncomfortable, I'd just back off.

So far, nobody has had a problem. Granted, I've only asked 3 people this question.

how do you like the MSI 7950? I'm about 2 weeks away from pulling the trigger on lil rudeguy's new gaming rig and the video card is the only thing I'm still up in the air about.