Which passenger would you sit next to?

[madoka]

If you had an important 14 hour flight that you had to be on and there were only four seats available, which of these passengers would you choose to sit next to?

1. Shirtless drunk:

2. Fat shirtless guy:

3. Masturbator

“One guy apparently got off on the feeling of take off and landing and a flight attendant had to ask him ever so politely to stop masturbating.

4. Hipster

 

[brianmanahan]

i definitely sit next to #4.

and holy crap #3, what kind of mental disorder would cause someone to do that

 

[Red Squirrel]

I think the hipster would be the least annoying. Just don't let him see your Android or he'll talk your ear off about how Apple is better.

 

[madoka]

I think the hipster would be the least annoying.

I disagree.

Dude is playing a flute! He is obviously self-centered enough that he doesn't care about anybody else in cabin but himself. That would suck sitting next to a guy like that for 14 hours.

Now the masturbator on the other hand. . .

 

[brianmanahan]

Now the masturbator on the other hand. . .

 

[Red Squirrel]

Hmmm true, I guess the masterbator would be more quiet. The issue is having to keep track of everything within the plane that he touches so you have to avoid touching those things.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

i definitely sit next to #4.

and holy crap #3, what kind of mental disorder would cause someone to do that

Agreed. Hipster might at the least share with me whatever he is high or drunk on, which would make the flight slightly less annoying vs. the other possible people.

Otherwise #1 in hopes that he shares the booze.

 

[BoomerD]

Any of them...I have an elbow...and know how to use it, so the drunk shirtless guy could get elbowed in the teeth to shut him up...the fat guy in the belly to keep him on his side of the seat, the masterbater...I'd just break his fingers, and the hipster, I'd break his flute...then go from there.
I don't suffer idiots well when I'm crammed in an aluminum tube 35,000 feet in the air. Just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up...and if your kid keeps kicking my seat, I'm likely to tie his feet around your neck.

 

[Darwin333]

I don't see why everyone is hating on the Masturbator, he is sitting in the aisle and his right hand could easily be freed up by angling the phone on something so he could see the porn and stroke both of you at the same time.

 

[Skunk-Works]

How about none of the above, but I'm digging the Jesus character.

 

[Exterous]

So this plane is just full of a bunch of people on their way to at ATOT meetup?

 

[Svnla]

I do travel a lot (international) and did meet a lot of people (most good, some not) but haven't seen anyone with no shirt on or masturbating.

At least those individuals above did not fart as much as this guy and cause a fight - https://www.usatoday.com/story/trav...-stop-passing-gas-fight-breaks-out/351638002/

 

[Rumpltzer]

I don't mind if she's masturbating as long as she's okay with me watching... bonus if she lets me record for later use.

 

[purbeast0]

#5. I wouldn't fly Spirit Airlines

 

[K1052]

Hmmm true, I guess the masterbator would be more quiet. The issue is having to keep track of everything within the plane that he touches so you have to avoid touching those things.

I have some really bad news for you if you've ever stayed in a hotel room.

 

[snoopy7548]

#4. The unpredictability of the other three would drive me nuts. Maybe the hipster flute guy plays very softly.

 

[madoka]

You caught me red-handed.

The masturbator is obviously the best choice. He'll only be a bother during take-off and landing. Otherwise he looks like he'll keep to himself. I just have to make sure he never hands me anything.

Plus, it looks like the seat next to him is upgraded or at least has more room. Sitting next to the hipster means you're in the middle of a four seat row which is cramped and he'll likely smell of pot.

The worst is obviously the fat guy. There's going to be some guaranteed BO going on in that seat.

 

[Humpy]

Obviously I'd want to sit next to all of them.

 

[feralkid]

I don't mind if she's masturbating as long as she's okay with me watching... bonus if she lets me record for later use.

You thought that was a woman?

 

[Rumpltzer]

You thought that was a woman?

You were looking at the dude?

#notthatthere'sanythingwrongwiththat

 

[snoopy7548]

On second thought, I bet the fat shirtless dude would let you play the bongos on his beer belly. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP. If the hipster flute dude was on the same flight you could get a band going...