Who handles L7 load balancing?

[spidey07]

WTF! You don't even understand how your application works!

What in the hell is a network/security consultant doing telling you how your freakin' application works???!!!!!!! Are you freakin' stupid!???

Do you not understand how HTTP works? What part of HTTP do you not get? I can't even begin to make a web page and yet somehow your dumbass thinks it a "network problem??" a "load balancer problem"?

WTF!!!!

Let me pound this through your thick skull again - IT'S NOT A NETWORK PROBLEM, IT NEVER IS. If it was in the best interests of my own career I would literally grab your head by your hair, pound it a few times into the desk asking you the same question over and over again until you finally "get it". Do you "get it" yet? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? *bang* *bang*

Do you get it yet? A freaking 15 year old could tell you your web servers are not answering HTTP requests, and somehow this is the "network problem?".

Just be glad that your ass is gonna get complete control and ownership of the all the global load balancers. Because, hey you fucking moronic group of brain dead idiots....you deserve it.

Have at it.

 

[stimpyman77]

Get'em Spidey!

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: stimpyman77
Get'em Spidey!

Get'em! I'm not fargin getting them!

I'm so sick and tired of holding back my true intentions. I've let loose a few times, "what should we do?"

You should have a freaking clue about how your app works!!!!! Why is this so difficult for you?????

WTF!!! is a network guy telling you how your application works? WHY??????

I swear to god, my team could freaking melt diamonds if you put their heads in one place.

oh, I forgot! "the network" is just some magical thing that fixes your applications. godammit this feels like dejavu.

I'm done with those farging morons. Global load balancing is now owned by the APP teams.

App team - "DNS? We don't understand!???"
Consultant - "Not my faring' problem"

Seriously, it's amazing how people don't understand basic computing.

 

[Sunner]

I bet it's a firewall problem


Oh and...before Spidey starts sending me death threats, that's just a joke, what everyone assumed whenever something wasn't working at my old job.
Everything was a firewall problem, even though it did in fact turn out to be something else in 99.9% of the cases.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Sunner
I bet it's a firewall problem


Oh and...before Spidey starts sending me death threats, that's just a joke, what everyone assumed whenever something wasn't working at my old job.
Everything was a firewall problem, even though it did in fact turn out to be something else in 99.9% of the cases.

That's kind of funny. Some of the security/firewall guys sit next to me. When bored we play verbal ping-pong.

"It's a firewall problem"
"hmm, looks like a network problem"
"nope, definitely a firewall problem"
"rulebase is good, must be a network problem"

good times.

 

[Cooky]

We've been rolling out Cisco's NAC (Clean Access), and every time a user can't access something they automatically point the finger at NAC.

 

[Sunner]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Sunner
I bet it's a firewall problem


Oh and...before Spidey starts sending me death threats, that's just a joke, what everyone assumed whenever something wasn't working at my old job.
Everything was a firewall problem, even though it did in fact turn out to be something else in 99.9% of the cases.

That's kind of funny. Some of the security/firewall guys sit next to me. When bored we play verbal ping-pong.

"It's a firewall problem"
"hmm, looks like a network problem"
"nope, definitely a firewall problem"
"rulebase is good, must be a network problem"

good times.

Heh, you should have seen one of the other guys at my old place.
Really nice guy, but he was really picky about stuff being orderly, if someone was in a hurry and used a red patch cable where they should have used a green one, he'd just yank it out and place the blame on whoever put it there to begin with.
Then this one day, when a bunch of developers came whining about the firewalls fucking things up, he just snapped and started screaming at them about how it "isn't the fucking firewall, it's never the fucking firewall, it's your fucking application that sucks", and so on.
Needless to say, while he was absolutely correct, and no one really blamed him for yelling at them, the rest of us were fairly shocked

Morale of the story: networking is an emotionally charged subject

 

[n0cmonkey]

Nah, its the IDSes. Its always the IDSes...

 

[nightowl]

LOL at n0c!!!! I feel your pain Spidey and it is hard being on the side where it is always your problem.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: nightowl
LOL at n0c!!!! I feel your pain Spidey and it is hard being on the side where it is always your problem.

It's NOT A NETWORK PROBLEM!!!!!

Eitherway, my recommendations were approved. App teams now own all the load balancers now and are frantically trying to send people to training.

It's nice. Walking into a meeting, dropping a grenade, then leaving. Watching them scramble to put the pin back in is even more fun.

 

[funkbass81]

10/10. Reminds me of the dumbfucks I work with.

 

[TechBoyJK]

hey spidey, it could be slight cable attenuation causing dropped packets... < networking?

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
hey spidey, it could be slight cable attenuation causing dropped packets... < networking?

that would be dropping frames, NOT PACKETS!

WRONG LAYER!