The fact that it's so hard to come up with a plausible name just reinforces that the GOP is really in a bad way at the moment. In order to get nominated, a candidate has to say things to pander to the party's arch conservatives that in turn make it very difficult to run in a general election.
I actually think Jeb Bush (but for the Bush name, which is problematic at the moment) is presently the best candidate I know of, and Huntsman and Johnson seem fine as well, but none of these would have been nominated because they aren't sufficiently extreme. Instead, the "serious" competitors included the comprehensively dishonest Romney, and a host of thoroughly unappealing candidates, none of whom could have been competitive in a general election (including Gingrich, Santorum, Perry, Cain and Bachmann), and Paul, who is beloved by his fans and nobody else. On the bright side, if you're a Republican, there are some younger guys waiting in the wings (Ryan, Jindal, Rubio) who might be viable candidates in the future.