Why do engineers usually lack empathy?

[Alphathree33]

Most of the engineers I deal with tend to do things that are completely inconsiderate of the people around them.

For example when we're out for dinner at a Japanese restaurant where they don't speak good English, they'll say things to the waitress like "I'll have what the gentlemen to my right is having". Like she's going to understand that?

Or when ordering cheese at a grocery store: "I want $10 worth of cheese in such a way that I get 2/3s brie and 1/2 cheddar." Really? Really??

And they KNOW that they come off like a total a-hole. They do it to prove how smart they are, I suppose.

But if they were really that smart, wouldn't they have some emotional intelligence as well?

 

[Nik]

Why go through a great education with a great mind full of potential and then act and talk like a dumbass?

 

[HamburgerBoy]

What is he supposed to do in the case of the Japanese restaurant? Learn Japanese?

EDIT: And the second request may be taxing on the intellect of the typical cashier, but it's not that unreasonable either. What is your profession?

 

[hofan41]

because the world needs dicks.

 

[Kalmah]

Sounds like a douchebag to me.

 

[Jeff7]

It's not their fault that they're more important than you.



And no, some don't know how they come off to other people, other than the rumors they might hear now and then. Some people are pretty much lacking in that kind of sense. Socializing well can be a rather daunting and extremely puzzling task for some.

Or when ordering cheese at a grocery store: "I want $10 worth of cheese in such a way that I get 2/3s brie and 1/2 cheddar." Really? Really??

Well clearly that's just a test to see if the cashier is paying attention.
2/3 + 1/2 = 5/6




Edit: Ok, 2/3+1/2 = 7/6

Apparently in my magical world of math, 2x2=2.
Dammit. That kind of stupid shit cost me letter grades on tests in college.
x^2 = 2x
3^2=6
3/1=1
D:

 

[Engineer]

:hmm:




:sneaky:









:biggrin:

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Because most techno geeks have spent way more time studying technology than social interaction?

 

[Oil]

What type of engineer are you talking about?

 

[Schadenfroh]

Or when ordering cheese at a grocery store: "I want $10 worth of cheese in such a way that I get 2/3s brie and 1/2 cheddar." Really? Really??

WTF, my boss was describing a situation that she instigated at a supermarket that is almost identical to this the other day.

I would say that some engineers feel that they are superior and must place the inferior in positions that humiliate them.

 

[MotF Bane]

:hmm:




:sneaky:









:biggrin:

win

 

[Nik]

"I'll have what the gentlemen to my right is having". Like she's going to understand that?

What's so hard about that? Like the waitress is going to be so fucking stupid that she can't look at a dish her own restaurant serves, not know what it is, and have to ask for clarification on what the customer wants?

Or when ordering cheese at a grocery store: "I want $10 worth of cheese in such a way that I get 2/3s brie and 1/2 cheddar." Really? Really??

Sure, why not? I'd say comin right up! and then dish him out $6.60 ish of brie and $3.30 ish of cheddar, make the sale, and move on to the next customer. Should customers be dumbing down their requests, playing the patronizing card thinking that just because they aren't an engineer that they can't possibly understand a simple request like that? I'd be insulted if some engineer asked me to do something in fucktard-speak.

 

[Nik]

WTF, my boss was describing a situation that she instigated at a supermarket that is almost identical to this the other day.

I would say that some engineers feel that they are superior and must place the inferior in positions that humiliate them.

Nah, in that situation, I'd think that the engineer has $10 to spend and wants 2/3 bree and 1/3 cheddar but doesn't have the time or patience to figure out exact weights based on price. The cashier, likely having dealt with the items in question on a regular basis since they freakin WORK THERE, would know or could divvy out said amounts MUCH faster than he could.

Boom, work done, next customer.

Efficient.

 

[jhu]

WTF, my boss was describing a situation that she instigated at a supermarket that is almost identical to this the other day.

I would say that some engineers feel that they are superior and must place the inferior in positions that humiliate them.

Haha! Whenever I encounter such people, I just take out my wad of cash and tell her she can have it if she drops to her knees.

 

[waggy]

Most of the engineers I deal with tend to do things that are completely inconsiderate of the people around them.

For example when we're out for dinner at a Japanese restaurant where they don't speak good English, they'll say things to the waitress like "I'll have what the gentlemen to my right is having". Like she's going to understand that?

Or when ordering cheese at a grocery store: "I want $10 worth of cheese in such a way that I get 2/3s brie and 1/2 cheddar." Really? Really??

And they KNOW that they come off like a total a-hole. They do it to prove how smart they are, I suppose.

But if they were really that smart, wouldn't they have some emotional intelligence as well?

the first one is kinda silly. If you are in the US and the people at the restaurant don't speak english how is it his fault?

for the cheese one yeah thats insane. some people like to show off and/or make other people feel bad.

 

[herm0016]

sounds like not nearly a majority of the engineers i know and I am an engineer, and work as an engineer.

 

[waggy]

Nah, in that situation, I'd think that the engineer has $10 to spend and wants 2/3 bree and 1/3 cheddar but doesn't have the time or patience to figure out exact weights based on price. The cashier, likely having dealt with the items in question on a regular basis since they freakin WORK THERE, would know or could divvy out said amounts MUCH faster than he could.

Boom, work done, next customer.

Efficient.

or the engineer can look at the price tag that list how much per pound and figure it out. most likely faster then having a cashier who is busy trying to get 10 people cheese to do it.

 

[dighn]

What's so hard about that? Like the waitress is going to be so fucking stupid that she can't look at a dish her own restaurant serves, not know what it is, and have to ask for clarification on what the customer wants?

I must lack empathy because I don't see anything wrong with that, and I do work as an engineer, hmm... :hmm:

Sure, why not? I'd say comin right up! and then dish him out $6.60 ish of brie and $3.30 ish of cheddar, make the sale, and move on to the next customer. Should customers be dumbing down their requests, playing the patronizing card thinking that just because they aren't an engineer that they can't possibly understand a simple request like that? I'd be insulted if some engineer asked me to do something in fucktard-speak.

Depending on the request it could be an assholish move. e.g. if they request 2/3 and 1/3 by weight, which while not a complex calculation, is beyond what constitutes a reasonable request.

 

[Nik]

or the engineer can look at the price tag that list how much per pound and figure it out. most likely faster then having a cashier who is busy trying to get 10 people cheese to do it.

When you're working the deli at a market, you serve one customer at a time. One. It's called "customer service." The customer could be doing a number of things at the same time. If I were to ask the cheese-person like the OP described, it would be because I'm also grabbing several other things at the same time, maximizing efficiency. There are too many variables missing from the equation to be able to determine the level of assholery of the engineer. You see what I did there?

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Sure, why not? I'd say comin right up! and then dish him out $6.60 ish of brie and $3.30 ish of cheddar, make the sale, and move on to the next customer. Should customers be dumbing down their requests, playing the patronizing card thinking that just because they aren't an engineer that they can't possibly understand a simple request like that? I'd be insulted if some engineer asked me to do something in fucktard-speak.

The op's cheese-requesting engineer doesn't want $6.60ish of brie and $3.30ish of cheddar, unless both cheeses are worth the same amount.

 

[thepd7]

Engineers have different brains than most people, very problem-oriented. An engineer will often see things in black and white, or various shades of black and various shades of white (this solves the problem and is better or worse than this other solution). There is not too much gray because typically something either works or it doesn't.

Now bring that mindset into relationship. Disaster.

Additionally, engineers often only really communicate when it comes to something they are passionate about. This is because more often than not they are smart and want to focus their intelligence on solving a particular problem they care about (see paragraph 1). This can make them seem really standoffish unless you know how to talk with them.

All that being said, it sounds like you were dealing with prick engineers. Just like anyone else some engineers just suck at being pleasant.

 

[Oil]

All that being said, it sounds like you were dealing with prick engineers. Just like anyone else some engineers just suck at being pleasant.

They just need a few drinks in them

 

[Aikouka]

We're not all like that you know....

Also, in my opinion, that doesn't show anything about lacking empathy unless the person gets bitchy when the person providing the service messes it up out of a lack of understanding or whatever. If it was me, I couldn't care less... shit happens, I don't usually make a big deal out of it.

 

[jhu]

The op's cheese-requesting engineer doesn't want $6.60ish of brie and $3.30ish of cheddar, unless both cheeses are worth the same amount.

Except the douchebag engineer didn't specify whether she wanted it by price or by weight. Given that she did mention $10 worth of cheese, it is reasonable for the server to give $6.66 worth of brie and $3.33 worth of cheddar. And if she complains that she wanted it by weight, I'd tell her to get on her knees.

 

[thepd7]

They just need a few drinks in them

You don't know many engineers very well, do you? For the most part (there are exceptions) the ones like I mentioned either won't drink or will be just as quiet when drunk. Okay sometimes they will talk more but instead of needing someone to ask them about their work or what they are trying to solve they will just start blurting it out. And if they come up with an "idea" they will have to get it on paper/iphone/etc.