why do i fall for guys who treat me like dirt?!

[Howard]

<< Why do I bother logging onto forums to listen to people whine about problems they have complete control over? >>


Werd.

Good post, LordThing.

 

[Howard]

<< Why do I bother logging onto forums to listen to people whine about problems they have complete control over? >>


Werd.

Good post, LordThing.

 

[Brutuskend]

Yeah there is no need to bash eakers. She's just like a LOT of other women out there that are attracted to Bad Boys. And she's YOUNG.

Figuring out what you want, and how to get it is part of the growing up process, we ALL go through it. The main differance is SHE has a forum in which to ask question about that growing up process that many of us didn't have growing up.

I don't think she's an attention "whore", just confused as to why she does what she does. MOST of us are confused as to why we do what we do! The human mind and it's workings are one of the biggest mystery out there.

As far as wanting what you can't have. I think we ALL do that. I know I have. I think it all boils down to wanting a challange, and for women at least, excitement. Lets face it BAD BOYS are much more exciting, and def. more of a challange than NICE GUYS. So wanting, or being attracted to a bad boy, or someone that seems to not care a whit about you is NORMAL! (Though it may not feel to good)

Some guys really can't help being the nice guy, just as some guys can't help being jerks. And NO ONE can help being attracted to the type of people they are attracted to.....

 

[timelapse]

 

[J Heartless Slick]

My method for staying away from the wrong person is I only date women who like me and who I like. The first hint that someone does not pass the above standards I very quickly walk away.

 

[ravanux]

good guys ::cough:: such as myself ::cough cough:: are waiting for a rich, attractive, slightly-older woman to come in and offer to marry us and pay for everything we might possibly want.
seriously though.....most nice guys that finish last are younger nice guys. we haven't learned to go out and get what we want w/out seeming cocky, rude, and/or assholeish. so we are outwardly content with being the friend while the "mean guys" call us pussy's and whatnot. but really we just dont know how to assert ourselves.
thats just my opinion. i could be wrong and im sorry if i hurt anyones feelings. please dont kick my ass!

 

[Nefrodite]

maybe becuz the good ol biological clock hasn't started ticking yet

 

[Juniper]

eakers, you will find the right guy

 

[BigNeko]

Hopefully, I am not getting Skoorb-ed.
To get rid of a bad habit, replace it with a good one. I bet a cookie you know a guy who is always nice to you, maybe gets a little tongue tied around you, has never asked you out (can't get up the nerve), but would probably treat you pretty well as a GF. Ask him out on a date. Date only this guy. Go slow, but give it time. Say to yourself that you will date this guy for six months, and at the six month mark, decide where you are at.

P.S. This guy will probably stare at your chest for the first couple of months. Don't get mad

 

[vash]

I think women, in general, are liars. They say one thing, while they mean another. Men cannot read this and are only "trained" to know these situations.

Case study #1:
Girlfriend looks like something is wrong, guy asks "what is wrong, is something up?". Girl says "no, everything is fine." Guy knows something is wrong, but he blatently asked if there was something wrong and she said "no". Obviously she lied about a problem that didn't exist.

Case study #2:
Girls state they want a nice, sweet, caring, sincere guy to be with. What kind of guys do girls usually date? Guys that don't call back, treat them like dirt, etc. How many times have you listened to a girl talk about her ex-boyfriend being a jerk? Did she mention that she went out with this "jerk" for X number of years?

There are many more cases I can list but these are the easiest and most obvious. I have encountered too many cases in my own life, with women, where I have seen case #2 in particular. Now I'm not saying ALL WOMEN ARE LIARS, I am saying that most women do not truthfully state exactly what they want.

Sorry to hear about your problem eakers, but you'll find the right guy for you someday, you may just have to go through a lot of "jerks" first.

vash

 

[Grinchy]

This whole two types of men in the world thing - nice and jerks is so dumb. They are the poles, not the norm.

Normally you have jerky guys with a decent heart, or nice guys with a jerky heart. Kind of a mix.

If you're a nice guy, you don't have to BE a jerk to get a woman. You do have to be confident, honest, authentic, and yourself. As an earlier poster said, act as if you own the world. If you own the world, you don't have to prove anything, you know it, she knows it. It is a state of mind, a way of carrying yourself; it's called self-confidence.

I have started dating this absolutely incredible woman. The kind of woman I couldn't have even held eye contact with 2 years ago. What's different? I am confident, and direct, and authentic. If I want to be goofy, then I'm goofy. If I want to be romantic, I'm romantic. If I want to open a door, I do. If not, I don't. I am, at all times, confident that I can be myself. I let her decide if she wants to be with a nice man who is confident in himself and what he wants, whether that is her or a cheeseburger.

I thought I had learned 'an edge', which is kind of a jerky way to act, but that isn't it. I just am willing to be myself, and accept the consequences.

As to eakers, when you are self-confident, then you will also attract men who are self-confident, and they care too much about themselves and their inner standards to every treat you horribly. The motivation for being in the relationship is different. A confident man doesn't need you, he wants you. Do you feel the difference?

 

[djheater]

<< its funny when boys put me down for my attention.
it happens in a lotta threads.

As far as can be determined, MB here is either male, female, male/female, female/male or none of the above. I don't think your assumption holds true. All the same, the cause of it is quite interesting. Look at me, someone says something that at first glance offends me, so surely, it has to be about me. Of course, it's about me, why would it not be? I mean, it has to be me, right?


Cheers ! >>



As was clearly indicated by the original question... Eakers is wrestling with ego issues, not the least of which is egocentrism. many women go through the same thing as I understand it nice to see one do so on an open forum I frequent ....

 

[Johnlee]

Typical, long @ss eakers thread.

But everyone is giving you horrid advice.

Check this-I am the king of syco chicks. I've dated so many loons, I've lost count. But every 15 or so, I get a normal one, a fun one, a nice one. So keep trying, date em all, screw the ones you wanna screw, be a whore. Who cares. Eventually, you'll meet one who treats you good and is hotter than hell and all that.

OR

You can try this approach which I also tried in my early 20s. Date people slightly less hot than yourself. (I, personally, don't think you're as hot as everyone here, but looks are purely subjective) anyway, back to my point: I was going after all the super hot chicks. When I scored, almost all of them turned out to be a-hole batches. However, when I started "settling" for chicks slightly less good-looking than myself, it was like they treated me like a god. It's a nice ego stroke.

Now, I don't even think about it, I just go out with whomever and don't expect too much. When a cool chick comes around, SCORE! Until then, take a number.

 

[gopunk]

<< why is everyone bashing moonbeam? you really think defending eakers against her own self-made problems will get you some loving from her? think again geeks.
sad, this whole thread.
woes is me....I can't commit and I can't stand to hurt nice guys. Boohoo..woes is me....must be hell being you eakers.. >>



saying that somebody was a bit harsh in their comments does not mean i'm bashing them. and no, i do not think that pointing out unnecessary rudeness will help me get laid with a chick who's (i'm guessing) 5 years older than me and lives in a different country, and who i have never met, or even talked to. contrary to what you may think, my actions are not necessarily motivated by my dick.

 

[StageLeft]

Change who you put time into. It's not like these guys are acting all nice and suddenly turn into dicks and if they are their nice-act should be see-through as hell.

 

[Hammer]

Check out my sig

 

[Moonbeam]

For the sake of understanding, those of you who bash Moonbeam and those of you who support my apparent harshness, you have missed the point. What most all of you have done is offer advise. Either because I am profoundly arrogant or because I actually know something, I decided not to offer advise, but to demonstrate to her directly, the source of her dilema, the presence of feelings of worthlessness and I did so not to make her feel bad, but to show her that she already is infected with the roots of that posibility. I can't guarantee success in recovering from them, I can only try to point out their presence. The first step in any journey to better sense is insight into what we are unconscious of. Since we want to stay unconscious and ask for advise but cannot hear always hear it, I went an extra mile. If she is dead set on an answer to her question, perhaps she will understand.

 

[phatcow]

Because you are a weak girl and has to rely on the guy for comfort?

--- there.. found the right thread

 

[ravanux]

Hey, I've got some more bad advice....you could just deal with dating sh!tty guys. cause maybe you are the girl equivalent of all the guys you are dating. maybe you are a hot girl that treats all the guys that fall for you like "dirt"
but i could be wrong about that too.

 

[eakers]

<< Hey, I've got some more bad advice....you could just deal with dating sh!tty guys. cause maybe you are the girl equivalent of all the guys you are dating. maybe you are a hot girl that treats all the guys that fall for you like "dirt"
but i could be wrong about that too. >>


DEAR LORD YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT.
HOW COULD I BE SO FREAKING STUPID.

WELL THAT SOLVES IT BOYS, I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE CRAP. THANKS FOR COMING OUT, IM DONE WITH YOU NOW.

*KAT. <-- hmph

 

[Hammer]

eakers, there no sense in getting mad over someone's opinion that does not even no you. Everyone is generalizing based on their own experiences.

 

[microAmp]

<< Case study #1:
Girlfriend looks like something is wrong, guy asks "what is wrong, is something up?". Girl says "no, everything is fine." Guy knows something is wrong, but he blatently asked if there was something wrong and she said "no". Obviously she lied about a problem that didn't exist. >>



I hear ya on that one!!! Went through that cr@p some months ago....

 

[BoberFett]

I think ravanux is probably right.

 

[ilikemovie]

<< did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face it means you have cancer? >>


LOL

I learned a lot from this thread. I will start calling ladies around me b*tch and treat them like sh*t.

 

[Kadarin]

No offense to Eakers, but after skimming through this thread, I've come to the conclusion that she's not my type. Give me someone a little older any day...

Good luck to all, and thanks for the entertainment.