Why do parents act like they know what we care about?

[K1052]

Originally posted by: Frostwake

Originally posted by: Vinny N

Originally posted by: Frostwake
Why do parents act like they know what we care about?

Because they do know what we care about and they're terrified of what crazy things we will do for what we care about. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, and parents are capable of messing up, but they really don't want to hurt their children in any way.


Frostwake, since you only joined in January, I have to ask: Have you read much of this forum? Did you make this thread looking for support? Because I'm afraid for these sorts of threads (and pretty much any YAGT, even plainer ones), this forum has mostly harsh comments/advice and empathy can be a rarity.

Thanks for sharing, altough i have no ideia what having children is like, i understand that parents must be terrified when these things come up, but my case isnt a "life or death" thing either, its just... they can make it happen, and if they dont then they do start risking alot more than they should, and nobodys happy in the end

I know ATOT is the worse place for support threads, actually just about every thread here is turned into a pathetic flame fest from what ive seen, ill go look somewhere else where people that have gone through the same and succeded might actually cheer me up and tell me what it was like

You don't want to know the truth, you just want to be told what you want to hear.

You will look back on this in a few years and think "How could I have been so freaking stupid". We've all been there before and so will you.

 

[CalvinHobbs]

Originally posted by: Frostwake

I really hope I wasn't so ungrateful to my parents. They fed me, clothed me, gave me a place to sleep with a warm bed and some luxuries. If your parents do a fraction of the same, then you owe them "YOUR LIFE" and you should probably STFU and get over it.

At least now I got some "think before you post" replies coming... Lets say i agree partly with you on this one, but as I said, its not my fault i was born in the first place... Why should i be "in debt" to them? They should have thinked before having children... I wish it would be that easy... to go on with our lives seeing each other in I-dont-know-how-many-months-apart and keeping the "flame" alive, but its not

:thumbsup:

 

[Lithium381]

Originally posted by: hypn0tik
OP, I understand EXACTLY what you're going through!

I got through the situation by rubbing one out. Best damn jerk I had. I didn't even talk to the girl the next day. I was looking at my right hand as I walked past her thinking, 'Damn, where have you been all these years Righty?' To this day, I have yet to experience a better jerk.

:Q That's some firm advice right there...

I think you should move more slowly. There is no reason you can't move in with eachother, just not right now. Play it out for another few months, spend some time together over summer(assuming you're both going to school), and see where it takes you. Don't rush into it. I'm not condoning the action, but just warning you to be careful. You seem immature and blinded by this emotion(lust?). Either way, good luck with it.

 

[CalvinHobbs]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
You seem kinda twisted OP. Like that guy a while back who killed his gf's mother and father and "kidnapped" the gf. Think before you act. And while I agree that the whole "we know how things work" idea is sometimes incorrect, i have found over the years that they are right most of the time (this is coming from a 16 year old who is just starting to see it) :laugh: I mean yes, there ARE times when they are wrong and are sometimes to stubborn to admit it, but they still raised me, and for that i will do everything in my power to honor them as best i can. *

* - a little background. I live with my grandparents. Have since i was 2 and a half. My mother was murdered and i dont know who my father was. But my grnadparents pulled me out of the foster system and took me in. And sometimes I am an ass. But for what they have done for me there is not a single day that goes by that I dont think how wonderful they are to me and my twin brother. They are 65 and 67 and still taking care of us. That is true dedication my friends. Be thankful for your parents.

you are right, at times they may get it wrong but it won't happen too often, and it's good to see there are still people who recognises the sacrifices others make for them

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: K1052

You don't want to know the truth, you just want to be told what you want to hear.

You will look back on this in a few years and think "How could I have been so freaking stupid". We've all been there before and so will you.

Yeah, I'm done. I'm getting up for work in about 5.5 hours....


BTW...POST 1000!!!! :thumbsup:

 

[Babbles]

The OP has managed to perform a rare miracle in getting essentially everybody on this ATOT thread to agree on one thing, which is: The OP is a douche.

 

[dawnbug]

Originally posted by: altonb1

Originally posted by: K1052

You don't want to know the truth, you just want to be told what you want to hear.

You will look back on this in a few years and think "How could I have been so freaking stupid". We've all been there before and so will you.

Yeah, I'm done. I'm getting up for work in about 5.5 hours....


BTW...POST 1000!!!! :thumbsup:

Congratulations! I made my 1000th tonight, too, in Nik's sad thread about his dog. You've got a lower post per day than I do, though.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Originally posted by: Frostwake

So she's ok with you killing her parents?

You know sometimes you dont feel what you say? Seems youve taken it too seriously... ive already said i wouldnt... i was pissed off and thinking like that come out, happens to everyone.. plus im a pacific person believe it or not and id rather kill myself then hurt her.. ever

Really. Just how old are you?

Oh and I think another good question is "Is this your FIRST girlfriend?" Answering this question could explain a lot because by the way you're talking, it sure sounds like it. It sounds like me(sorta, I wasn't that extreme since I was 14 at the time and there was no way I could do anything you're talking about) when I first got a girlfriend. Everything feels 'right'. After a couple girlfriends, you realize it's purely an infatuation. After you find a more mature girlfriend, and mature a lot more yourself, you will understand that sometimes you have to put your immediate happiness before more important things like education and being financially stable (doesn't matter if your parents are RICH as you may have hinted at earlier because not being able to pay your own way through life shows a severe lack of maturity).

You also say that 'what if you get hit crossing the street tomorrow and its all over?' well odds are that's not going to happen and if you had any sense, you would realize that some things are statistically improbable otherwise everyone would be too afraid to live their lives or live their lives extremely wrecklessly(as you sound like you are doing). There's nothing wrong with waiting a while to create some kind of stable foundation to build your life together on (and no, love is NOT a stable foundation if that's ALL you have at the moment).

A lot of the members here are right, you can learn the lessons the hardway if you want but if you take a look around, all these people are LOOKING OUT for YOU. They're only bashing you because they're trying to prevent you from doing something stupid. And the only thing worse than doing something stupid is doing something stupid and taking someone with you.

So please think before you act. It's not that we don't understand you, it's that we do and that is why we're telling you to slow down and think first.

EDIT: Nothing to see here, move along people.

 

[Frostwake]

You dont seem know that the number of successful long distance relationships is increasing day by day, the thing is most people dont have the will to make it happen, or it just fails due to impossibilities many of you have mentioned, i dont know which will happen, but if i dont risk ill never know and ill always be asking "what if?"

You will look back on this in a few years and think "How could I have been so freaking stupid". We've all been there before and so will you.

Maybe... but then i could say i went through the same myself

 

[TitanDiddly]

Originally posted by: Baked

Originally posted by: tfinch2
CRAWWWWWWLLLLIIINNNNGGGG INNNNNN MYYYYYYY SKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

/wrist

LOL

Perfect.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Originally posted by: Frostwake
You dont seem know that the number of successful long distance relationships is increasing day by day, the thing is most people dont have the will to make it happen, or it just fails due to impossibilities many of you have mentioned, i dont know which will happen, but if i dont risk ill never know and ill always be asking "what if?"

You will look back on this in a few years and think "How could I have been so freaking stupid". We've all been there before and so will you.

Maybe... but then i could say i went through the same myself

If you want to go through the same thing yourself, then do it?

Why do you need the support others to do it? Do you not have enough confidence in your own ability to do so?

Face it, not many people here are about to support stupidity. At least not in this regard.

 

[funboy6942]

You know what I have to butt in here and say a little considering I felt the same way as a child and have lived the situation your about to face.

For one stop thinking with your pecker and chill for a moment. Love will come and go. Yes you I dont doubt for one minute your in love but you trully are your going to want the best for you and especially her right? If so that is what your parents are thinking as well. If you dont go to school and get an education all the love you two have will not mean a hill of beans if you cannot provide for her.

Want to be where im at 34, no schooling, and cannot provide for your family because you were a grunt in the work force got hurt and can no longer do what you used to to provide for your family???? How to you plan on keeping a roof over your heads if you cant make ends meet? Pay the bills with love????? Will not happen. If you trully love her DO SO but also think that you want to give what she is going to need and having no education will not do that for you two. Like living in gang/drug town and worry about what little you have is going to get stolen or taken from you from the ass hole next door. Thats where your going to live if you or her dont get some sort of an education. What if you have kids? How are you going to feed them, cloth them, make sure they get an education? One thing about parents is they have done and been in your situation before and in most cases dont want you to make the same misstakes as they did. Why we are always on our kids ass. Thats why I am always on my kids ass. My parents didnt care. I went to 2-3 different schools a year because we moved so much. We were so poor we ate pop corn for breakfast lunch and dinner for weeks because thats all we had. I sh1t white turds because thats all we ate. Do you think for one moment thats what I want for them? No. Do you feel thats what your parents want for you? NO. They want to make sure you can make it in the world, have an education, a job, MONEY, because soory who ever said money cant buy you happynees must be a rich person because it is what makes the world go around.

As for the talk like you want to kill them. WTF is wrong with you. I was there man. My mom was dying of cancer and I was 17. All I cared about was getting my dick wet and not the fact she was dying. Let me tell you something buddy they are the ones who brought you into this world. Fed you, clothed you, gave you meds when your were sick. Comforted you when the boogyman was under your bed and no pussy is worth it when your parents die on you and you think back of how selfish you were because you wanted to get laid. It happends fast. One minnute your all sitting around telling jokes or stories and the next your parent is coughing up blood and dies on you in less then a year. Im not saying it will happen but it happened to me and I never got the chance to tell them how sorry I was for being an ass liek your being. You should grab your parents, give them a hug, tell them your sorry for being the way you are and ask what you can do to make sure you and the one you love will be able to make it in the world like they have and do what they say.

You may not think much of it because you have that great $8 an hour job but once you leave the nest your going to need more. Putting off being together all the time and do what is best for you in the long run not short term for now. They may not know you completly but they know how the world works and how bad it is out there first hand and been doing it longer then you have been alive. Give them a brake and dont say or do anything your going to regret once they are gone. It will be a lifetime of hurt inside, I know.

 

[SynthDude2001]

I always wonder what kind of person it takes to ignore the same (good) advice coming from literally dozens of people in agreement...

 

[KillerCharlie]

Originally posted by: Babbles
The OP has managed to perform a rare miracle in getting essentially everybody on this ATOT thread to agree on one thing, which is: The OP is a douche.

Rare? Has it actually even happened before?

 

[Frostwake]

I wasn't gonna post anything at first but your not so random fits of spelling/grammar errors really makes me wonder if you have graduated High School yet.

Im sorry, english is not my native language as i said earlier, plus i dont use "I" or " ' " etc etc because... you can read it anyway cant you? dont be so picky

Oh and I think another good question is "Is this your FIRST girlfriend?" Answering this question could explain a lot because by the way you're talking, it sure sounds like it.

Well, you know, it feels alot stronger then the first one, but its actually the 4th... now wait a second " if its the 4th you know perfectly that you can go on living if you brake up right?" yes i do know that, but...cant explain it

(btw others can stop thread crapping, and about linkin park, try listening to some good music first)

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: xSkyDrAx
I wasn't gonna post anything at first but your not so random fits of spelling/grammar errors really makes me wonder if you have graduated High School yet.
You also say that 'what if you get hit crossing the street tomorrow and its all over?' well odds are that's not going to happen and if you had any sense, you would realize that some things are statistically improbable otherwise everyone would be too afraid to live their lives or live their lives extremely wrecklessly(as you sound like you are doing). There's nothing wrong with waiting a while to create some kind of stable foundation to build your life together on (and no, love is NOT a stable foundation if that's ALL you have at the moment).

/cries

The worst part is that he's right on the word that you bolded...
Main Entry: pa·cif·ic
Pronunciation: p&-'si-fik
Function: adjective
1 : CONCILIATORY b : rejecting the use of force as an instrument of policy
2 a : having a soothing appearance or effect <mild pacific breezes> b : mild of temper : PEACEABLE
3 capitalized : of, relating to, bordering on, or situated near the Pacific Ocean

Originally posted by: Frostwake
Maybe... but then i could say i went through the same myself

Would you volunteer to get assraped so that you "could say you went through the same yourself?" No. I know you're new at life, but trust me, you don't have to seek out bad experiences to live a full life; quite the opposite, in fact. Plenty of bad experiences will come along without your assistance, believe me.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: xSkyDrAx
I wasn't gonna post anything at first but your not so random fits of spelling/grammar errors really makes me wonder if you have graduated High School yet.
You also say that 'what if you get hit crossing the street tomorrow and its all over?' well odds are that's not going to happen and if you had any sense, you would realize that some things are statistically improbable otherwise everyone would be too afraid to live their lives or live their lives extremely wrecklessly(as you sound like you are doing). There's nothing wrong with waiting a while to create some kind of stable foundation to build your life together on (and no, love is NOT a stable foundation if that's ALL you have at the moment).

/cries

The worst part is that he's right on the word that you bolded...
Main Entry: pa·cif·ic
Pronunciation: p&-'si-fik
Function: adjective
1 : CONCILIATORY b : rejecting the use of force as an instrument of policy
2 a : having a soothing appearance or effect <mild pacific breezes> b : mild of temper : PEACEABLE
3 capitalized : of, relating to, bordering on, or situated near the Pacific Ocean

Originally posted by: Frostwake
Maybe... but then i could say i went through the same myself

Would you volunteer to get assraped so that you "could say you went through the same yourself?" No. I know you're new at life, but trust me, you don't have to seek out bad experiences to live a full life; quite the opposite, in fact. Plenty of bad experiences will come along without your assistance, believe me.

my mistake. I haven't seen it used like that before and I was too lazy to get check. So sue me There were still grammar/spelling errors. Time to delete the evidence *shifty eyes*

 

[K1052]

Originally posted by: funboy42
You know what I have to butt in here and say a little considering I felt the same way as a child and have lived the situation your about to face.

For one stop thinking with your pecker and chill for a moment. Love will come and go. Yes you I dont doubt for one minute your in love but you trully are your going to want the best for you and especially her right? If so that is what your parents are thinking as well. If you dont go to school and get an education all the love you two have will not mean a hill of beans if you cannot provide for her.

Want to be where im at 34, no schooling, and cannot provide for your family because you were a grunt in the work force got hurt and can no longer do what you used to to provide for your family???? How to you plan on keeping a roof over your heads if you cant make ends meet? Pay the bills with love????? Will not happen. If you trully love her DO SO but also think that you want to give what she is going to need and having no education will not do that for you two. Like living in gang/drug town and worry about what little you have is going to get stolen or taken from you from the ass hole next door. Thats where your going to live if you or her dont get some sort of an education. What if you have kids? How are you going to feed them, cloth them, make sure they get an education? One thing about parents is they have done and been in your situation before and in most cases dont want you to make the same misstakes as they did. Why we are always on our kids ass. Thats why I am always on my kids ass. My parents didnt care. I went to 2-3 different schools a year because we moved so much. We were so poor we ate pop corn for breakfast lunch and dinner for weeks because thats all we had. I sh1t white turds because thats all we ate. Do you think for one moment thats what I want for them? No. Do you feel thats what your parents want for you? NO. They want to make sure you can make it in the world, have an education, a job, MONEY, because soory who ever said money cant buy you happynees must be a rich person because it is what makes the world go around.

As for the talk like you want to kill them. WTF is wrong with you. I was there man. My mom was dying of cancer and I was 17. All I cared about was getting my dick wet and not the fact she was dying. Let me tell you something buddy they are the ones who brought you into this world. Fed you, clothed you, gave you meds when your were sick. Comforted you when the boogyman was under your bed and no pussy is worth it when your parents die on you and you think back of how selfish you were because you wanted to get laid. It happends fast. One minnute your all sitting around telling jokes or stories and the next your parent is coughing up blood and dies on you in less then a year. Im not saying it will happen but it happened to me and I never got the chance to tell them how sorry I was for being an ass liek your being. You should grab your parents, give them a hug, tell them your sorry for being the way you are and ask what you can do to make sure you and the one you love will be able to make it in the world like they have and do what they say.

You may not think much of it because you have that great $8 an hour job but once you leave the nest your going to need more. Putting off being together all the time and do what is best for you in the long run not short term for now. They may not know you completly but they know how the world works and how bad it is out there first hand and been doing it longer then you have been alive. Give them a brake and dont say or do anything your going to regret once they are gone. It will be a lifetime of hurt inside, I know.

Best post in this entire thread.

Listen to this man Frostwake.

 

[Frostwake]

Originally posted by: funboy42
You know what I have to butt in here and say a little considering I felt the same way as a child and have lived the situation your about to face.

For one stop thinking with your pecker and chill for a moment. Love will come and go. Yes you I dont doubt for one minute your in love but you trully are your going to want the best for you and especially her right? If so that is what your parents are thinking as well. If you dont go to school and get an education all the love you two have will not mean a hill of beans if you cannot provide for her.

Want to be where im at 34, no schooling, and cannot provide for your family because you were a grunt in the work force got hurt and can no longer do what you used to to provide for your family???? How to you plan on keeping a roof over your heads if you cant make ends meet? Pay the bills with love????? Will not happen. If you trully love her DO SO but also think that you want to give what she is going to need and having no education will not do that for you two. Like living in gang/drug town and worry about what little you have is going to get stolen or taken from you from the ass hole next door. Thats where your going to live if you or her dont get some sort of an education. What if you have kids? How are you going to feed them, cloth them, make sure they get an education? One thing about parents is they have done and been in your situation before and in most cases dont want you to make the same misstakes as they did. Why we are always on our kids ass. Thats why I am always on my kids ass. My parents didnt care. I went to 2-3 different schools a year because we moved so much. We were so poor we ate pop corn for breakfast lunch and dinner for weeks because thats all we had. I sh1t white turds because thats all we ate. Do you think for one moment thats what I want for them? No. Do you feel thats what your parents want for you? NO. They want to make sure you can make it in the world, have an education, a job, MONEY, because soory who ever said money cant buy you happynees must be a rich person because it is what makes the world go around.

As for the talk like you want to kill them. WTF is wrong with you. I was there man. My mom was dying of cancer and I was 17. All I cared about was getting my dick wet and not the fact she was dying. Let me tell you something buddy they are the ones who brought you into this world. Fed you, clothed you, gave you meds when your were sick. Comforted you when the boogyman was under your bed and no pussy is worth it when your parents die on you and you think back of how selfish you were because you wanted to get laid. It happends fast. One minnute your all sitting around telling jokes or stories and the next your parent is coughing up blood and dies on you in less then a year. Im not saying it will happen but it happened to me and I never got the chance to tell them how sorry I was for being an ass liek your being. You should grab your parents, give them a hug, tell them your sorry for being the way you are and ask what you can do to make sure you and the one you love will be able to make it in the world like they have and do what they say.

You may not think much of it because you have that great $8 an hour job but once you leave the nest your going to need more. Putting off being together all the time and do what is best for you in the long run not short term for now. They may not know you completly but they know how the world works and how bad it is out there first hand and been doing it longer then you have been alive. Give them a brake and dont say or do anything your going to regret once they are gone. It will be a lifetime of hurt inside, I know.

Im kinda speechless now, you just nailed it right there

I guess my worse fear is... i always used to think too much about the future, and now im concentrating alot more about the present, because i realized if you dont enjoy what youre living NOW youll never enjoy it, ive been waiting the first years of my life for something like this, for someone that made me as happy as she does, same for her... what if we keep waiting and seeing each other rarely and then something bad happens and i look back and i cant even say i enjoyed my youth? i really want to enjoy life NOW, 3 years from here i might be dead, who knows... and then my life was a total waste... i wanna die and look back "man that was a life worth living" just that...

 

[CalvinHobbs]

Originally posted by: Frostwake

Have you ever thought that if EVERYONE older than you is giving you a certain piece of advice, they might remember what it was like when they were your age, and they might have made the WRONG choice themselves and paid the consequences?

Have you ever thought i might actually want to experience it myself instead of just taking advices without knowing if they would turn out true or not?

About the others saying im avoiding questions, suppose im rich (my only problem is her parents not letting her) , what about it? Also the pregnancy is a non issue, also might as well assume we will die when crossing the road next day...

you're hopeless! you're rich? you mean your parents are, right? get a job and live off your own earnings and then come back here and post.

 

[KillerCharlie]

Originally posted by: Frostwake

Originally posted by: funboy42

Im kinda speechless now, you just nailed it right there

I guess my worse fear is... i always used to think too much about the future, and now im concentrating alot more about the present, because i realized if you dont enjoy what youre living NOW youll never enjoy it, ive been waiting the first years of my life for something like this, for someone that made me as happy as she does, same for her... what if we keep waiting and seeing each other rarely and then something bad happens and i look back and i cant even say i enjoyed my youth? i really want to enjoy life NOW, 3 years from here i might be dead, who knows... and then my life was a total waste... i wanna die and look back "man that was a life worth living" just that...

I think you missed the point...

 

[shimsham]

listen to funboy42, op. and just when you think of how rough that mustve been, remember it can get worse.

from what i gather:

op is 18
gf is "underaged". -why so vague and the flat refusal to answer how old she is?
youre both "studying". - all that tells me is your in some kind of school. is this high school, or college?
you live far enoug apart that you dont see each other.
you want to live with her, and both sets of parents say no, youre too young.
money isnt the issue, they just claim to be looking out for both of your best interests.

my translation:

youre 18, your gf ~15. both in high school. she has recently moved away, and since you two miss each other, you have fallen in love. so now you expect both sets of parents to let you move in with her, and support you while you do it, just because you are two teens in love and thats all that matters. since they wont let you, youre throwing a tantrum and threatening to make it happen no matter how you two can do it.

you know, if you have shred of any sense, respect, and maturity about you there is no way you can read that statement above and logically expect them to be on board with that load....
and that just assuming that half of the "facts" are facts.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Frostwake
WTF, anyone else got tired of hearing "we only want the best for you" and felt like killing them because they have absolutely NO IDEIA WHATSOEVER of your interests?

MOTHER$%&%$& JESUS , seriously if all your parents want is for you to become a graduate anything else you do is unnimportant except for what they think "is the best for you", how about actually trying to think a little bit and remember that each person has their own goals in life? Im so pissed off... Not pissed off for myself, since im not underaged and i can do whatever i #"%$#% want but for my gf who is not, and her parents acting like total retards, and i just feel like getting a gun and shooting it up their ass... Is it so hard for parents to understand that all we want (read - priority number ONE) is to be together? We could do EVERYTHING we needed to after that, but no... they have to be stupid and think all that matters is school and that crap when we cant even stop thinking each other for a second... theres NO WAY IN HELL any of us is gonna do ANYTHING without being together, is it that difficult to grasp? Did parents think their children would be carbon copies of them and act just like wanted to? Do they forget we have our own will and priorities? For me love is WAY ABOVE anything else in life, its what makes life worthy, what makes you feel like you are actually ENJOYING every single moment of your life, and everything else comes after, if things dont turn out so great you still have each other anyway... Thats how things work for me, and thats how things work for her... "First we need to be together, then we will do whatever needs to be done"... And most couples would just give up and be happy with what they have, but we are not and we will do whatever it takes to prove them we're SERIOUS.. whatever it takes... And im pissed off at the fact they cant understand us and they cant understand they are $%&$%& everything up and only making it worse, because they are NOT gonna keep us from being together, theyre probably going to ruin our lives... so much for "whats best for you" crap... Wow ive written too much... just needed to "explode" somewhere and since i was browsing through ATOT ... Thanks for those who leave their point of view on the question, and for those who flame at least try to be funny so i laugh a little

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Your parents really do want what's best for you and they have gone through what you're going through now. They've probably lost touch with some of the feelings you have but they do care and they do have your best interests at heart.

You probably won't listen to my advice but believe me, you would be better off if you listened to them, respected them and learned from them.

Edit-Love doesn't pay the bills. You need to think about your future because YOU are all you'll be able to rely on one day and if you can't make a decent living your relationship with this girl (child really) will fall apart. No question about it.

 

[Frostwake]

Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
I think you missed the point...

No i didnt "miss the point", what i said wasnt related, i have nothing to say about what funboy42 said, hes right and we all know that... cant do a thing about it.. i just mentioned what i think is the worst problem

About the parents... i cant change that, you want me to start loving them when thats not what i feel? i cant.. i dont fake feelings..thats the kind of thing i had to go through to learn about...

 

[CalvinHobbs]

after reaching page 8 i am like this :laugh: , hey OP please give us another update in one year