It's funny, when I was studying in the computer engineering lab yesterday, a young man with a very thick and impressive blonde beard and hipster glasses walked in and I was immediately attracted to him. No later, however, did I realize that instead of wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans, he was wearing a red XXL polo shirt, which accentuated every curve from his jelly-like biceps to his supple teats, and ultimately revealed himself as the very picture of a boy that received too much love and good food from his mother. I can't wait until more horrendously ugly people try co-opting this scene. Not that it would kill hipsterism, of course; I just want to see the hipster of 2014 today.