Why do people "settle" in life?

[steppinthrax]

So, I've kept track of many of my High School alumni (16 years ago). Mainly on FB and have met up with a few of them. I went to HS in a small town. One thing that I have a hard time wrapping my head around is many who did very well (academically) in school.

Yet, when they graduated they went to become a public school teacher or "stay at home mom" or working as a cashier at a store.

There was this girl I went to HS with who had 1540 SAT scores (out of 1600). She had taken 4 - 5 AP courses and obtained 3's and 4's on her AP exams and had a 4.0 GPA. She practically could go to any ivy league college under the sun. Colleges where sending her "pre-acceptance" letters based on her PSAT scores!!!

She became a Elementary school teacher making 55K a year. My thinking is this type of person should be put to good use in a laboratory finding cures to diseases or in business etc...

This is one example, there are several! I just don't get it...

 

[blackangst1]

People by nature take the path of least resistance. Also, not everyone aspires to work harder to climb the rungs. Some people are content where they are.

 

[Anubis]

because you are thinking about it wrong. That girls dream could have been to become a teacher, and now she is living her dream.

 

[steppinthrax]

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

 

[IronWing]

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

Where she might be able to make more positive change in the world than she ever could have in research.

 

[Zeze]

I’ll answer a more serious response to this. There are different levels of settling depending on your ambition.



I’m making pretty good money, and my job is pretty boring. I’m only 34 and I get to go home at 5pm and work from home every Fridays. I don’t think this job is healthy for me- because I don’t think I’m learning much and may even fall behind in the industry when I’m out on the market again.



But it’s hard not to be complacent. Lower stress, good money, easy hours + I go home and enjoy life. I’d be tempted to ‘settle’ for this job if the world somehow offered me this for rest of my life + adjusting for inflation raise, but with ZERO advancement.

 

[vi edit]

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

Going off your posting history you seem to work for money and nothing more. You hop job from one to the next to make a bigger paycheck. Why? What drives you?
Not everyone has the same goal. Maybe this person in question that became a teacher just really enjoys teaching. Likes kids. Likes the summers off. Likes long holiday breaks. Likes the security of being a teacher. Doesn't want to be a lab all day. Doesn't want to be chasing grants and research funds. People have very different things they find enjoyable and very different levels of income where they feel satisfied with what they have.

 

[Anubis]

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

you are still thinking about this incorrectly. just because someone is smart does not mean they have any desire to do any of the things you think they should. Personal fulfillment will trump that every time. there is truth in the statement of "doing something you love and you will never work a day in your life"

 

[OverVolt]

Well then you have alot to learn. If you never slow down in life you'll be 50 and alone because nobody can keep up with you.

Also women don't know what they want but thats a story for another day. Its not much different than my sister going to pharmacy school earning her $200k degree, then paying off her $200k degree then working one day a week and raising her family. I never understood the point of that. I was the youngest guy and I got shit help from my parents in life (spent everything on my sis who never uses the $%^& education). So I made my own way with alot less resources at my disposal. Something I still hold against them.

 

[dullard]

Some people live to work. I find it is better to work to live. Have a high quality life instead of striving to meet whatever someone else (such as steppinthrax) determines that you should be doing.

Your example is of someone making 50x the world median income working 9 months a year. Heck, she alone made nearly 10% more than the median US household income (combining all workers in the family). She is doing VERY well at $55k/year if you think of the big picture.

She is never on-call, she doesn't have much stress, when she comes home, her job is over for the day. A lot of the people making more money than her are tethered to their work emails and texts unable to truly let work go.

Then she has her evenings, and weekends, and holidays, and summers free to pursue life.

That, and I think that recently I read that ambition was largely genetic. I didn't take the time to search for that study though to post here.

 

[brainhulk]

feeble minded choose to put their effort into accumulation of wealth

she is using her vast brain resources to do a better job cultivating future geniuses

 

[Anubis]

this touches on something else, you cant force the desire to do something on someone. which is why the big STEM push for girls will never succeed. they have to want to do it, and most dont

 

[gorcorps]

So, I've kept track of many of my High School alumni (16 years ago). Mainly on FB and have met up with a few of them. I went to HS in a small town. One thing that I have a hard time wrapping my head around is many who did very well (academically) in school.

Yet, when they graduated they went to become a public school teacher or "stay at home mom" or working as a cashier at a store.

There was this girl I went to HS with who had 1540 SAT scores (out of 1600). She had taken 4 - 5 AP courses and obtained 3's and 4's on her AP exams and had a 4.0 GPA. She practically could go to any ivy league college under the sun. Colleges where sending her "pre-acceptance" letters based on her PSAT scores!!!

She became a Elementary school teacher making 55K a year. My thinking is this type of person should be put to good use in a laboratory finding cures to diseases or in business etc...

This is one example, there are several! I just don't get it...

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

These thoughts are exactly what's wrong with this country when it comes to our educational system. For some reason, the OP thinks being responsible for the education of our future is a "waste of brain". Teaching is looked down upon not only by the OP, but by a lot of people as an undesirable position that you go after when there aren't other options. Are you fucking serious? When you think about why we seem to be getting dumber as a society, maybe you should question why you think somebody who is incredibly book smart shouldn't pass down their knowledge to others. These are the people we WANT to be teaching, and you look down on her as if she made some poor choice in life.

I'm not sure what you do for a living OP, but I can guarantee you a good teacher makes more of an impact than you. Just because you can't physically see what she does, doesn't mean it isn't important. If you want a bunch of ignorant hillbillies teaching your kids then it's a good thing you don't make any of those decisions, but I for one am glad to know that somebody as smart as this acquaintance is potentially raising the bar for education in this country.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

But it's kind of a "waste of brain". You have this powerful brain that is one of many that can solve some of the world's hardest problems. Chooses to become a public school teacher!!!

You're thinking about it wrong. Life isn't about making money at the expense of happiness, nor is it about living up to the expectations of others. Some people have passions that they wish to pursue regardless of what they'll make doing it or what others expect of them. If they're happy doing it and can support themselves, more power to them and good for them.

Some people live to work. I find it is better to work to live. Have a high quality life instead of striving to meet whatever someone else (such as steppinthrax) determines that you should be doing.

Your example is of someone making 50x the world median income working 9 months a year. Heck, she alone made nearly 10% more than the median US household income (combining all workers in the family). She is doing VERY well at $55k/year if you think of the big picture.

She is never on-call, she doesn't have much stress, when she comes home, her job is over for the day. A lot of the people making more money than her are tethered to their work emails and texts unable to truly let work go.

Then she has her evenings, and weekends, and holidays, and summers free to pursue life.

This. Well said. I'm not overly fond of my own profession, but I stay in it because I'm very well paid and it allows me to pay for things I actually care about.

 

[OverVolt]

this touches on something else, you cant force the desire to do something on someone. which is why the big STEM push for girls will never succeed. they have to want to do it, and most dont

Yep

 

[CraKaJaX]

It's funny you mention this - I just had a conversation with one of the guys I actually kept in touch with from HS as there is only a handful. Our valedictorian is a bartender at a local bar. She's happy, I guess. IMO it's a complete waste. Yes, she actually went to college for some bullshit degree, but ended up there. Why? Maybe the bullshit degree. Maybe she just feels safe at home. Who knows. I'm totally opposite of that. I'm the type that I don't think I can ever be satisfied or settled. I don't ever want kids, and I have no plans on being married any time soon. I'm always looking to better myself and always interested in new opportunities if they benefit me. Once I pass the PE (planned for 2017), that's pretty much the end of my 'academic' career. It can only get better, not worse.

 

[Paladin3]

What gorcorps said x2. And I'm nominating this thread for self-ownage of the year. Remember, I said it first.

I spent the first 13 years of my career as a newspaper journalist trying to make the world a better place, until leaving the profession in 2000. I took a part time position running a library and doing tech support for a public school district, while my wife continued to work full time in a corporate position for a large theme park company.

I was never happier since I could stay home with my kids, coach softball, volunteer in the classroom and do all the fun stuff. My wife loved her job, but chasing $$$ and working all those hours took a toll on her. We eventually left California and her corporate job for small town North Idaho. She went to work for a family owned theme park and eventually opened her own business. Life was good and she was much happier during that time, but the stress had already eaten her up inside and cancer took her in 2015.

There's a lot more to life than $$$.

 

[xaeniac]

because there is more to life than success and a job. in the grand scheme you will soon be gone and no one will remember how much money you had, the car you drove, or the job you held. what are you striving for? maybe your priorities should be scrutinized. look in the mirror.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

What gorcorps said x2. And I'm nominating this thread for ownage of the year. Remember, I said it first.

I spent the first 13 years of my career as a newspaper journalist trying to make the world a better place, until leaving the profession in 2000. I took a part time position running a library and doing tech support for a public school district, while my wife continued to work full time in a corporate position for a large theme park company.

I was never happier since I could stay home with my kids, coach softball, volunteer in the classroom and do all the fun stuff. My wife loved her job, but chasing $$$ and working all those hours took a toll on her. We eventually left California and her corporate job for small town North Idaho. She went to work for a family owned theme park and eventually opened her own business. Life was good and she was much happier during that time, but the stress had already eaten her up inside and cancer took her in 2015.

There's a lot more to life than $$$.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I admire you and your wife for the courage to make a huge change like that. Sometimes I think about making that change too, but I just don't have the courage.

 

[repoman0]

These thoughts are exactly what's wrong with this country when it comes to our educational system. For some reason, the OP thinks being responsible for the education of our future is a "waste of brain". Teaching is looked down upon not only by the OP, but by a lot of people as an undesirable position that you go after when there aren't other options. Are you fucking serious? When you think about why we seem to be getting dumber as a society, maybe you should question why you think somebody who is incredibly book smart shouldn't pass down their knowledge to others. These are the people we WANT to be teaching, and you look down on her as if she made some poor choice in life.

I'm not sure what you do for a living OP, but I can guarantee you a good teacher makes more of an impact than you. Just because you can't physically see what she does, doesn't mean it isn't important. If you want a bunch of ignorant hillbillies teaching your kids then it's a good thing you don't make any of those decisions, but I for one am glad to know that somebody as smart as this acquaintance is potentially raising the bar for education in this country.

Great post.

 

[nakedfrog]

This is one example, there are several! I just don't get it...

Try harder?
You fail to understand that people have different priorities in life, or that other circumstances happen?

 

[Ruptga]

because there is more to life than success and a job. in the grand scheme you will soon be gone and no one will remember how much money you had, the car you drove, or the job you held. what are you striving for? maybe your priorities should be scrutinized. look in the mirror.

True, but some people really enjoy being overachievers. If he's given it thought and that's still what he wants to do, good for him. I don't think he's given it a lot of thought though.

 

[highland145]

I'm sorry for your loss, and I admire you and your wife for the courage to make a huge change like that. Sometimes I think about making that change too, but I just don't have the courage.

2nd.

And I did make a change. Same industry but quit my job after 18 years and opened my own. 11 years later, I'm pretty happy with it. That could change tomorrow but I know I'd be miserable if I were still at the old place. Examples of my happy face below.

 

[OverVolt]

My opinion... family formation is pretty $%^&ed right now and people deal with it in their own way.

Some people party, some people just focus on money, some people stay with their families forever never starting their own, etc. Some people never date, some people go on endless one night stands, etc.

Question... is the teacher married? =)

 

[Zeze]

What gorcorps said x2. And I'm nominating this thread for ownage of the year. Remember, I said it first.

I spent the first 13 years of my career as a newspaper journalist trying to make the world a better place, until leaving the profession in 2000. I took a part time position running a library and doing tech support for a public school district, while my wife continued to work full time in a corporate position for a large theme park company.

I was never happier since I could stay home with my kids, coach softball, volunteer in the classroom and do all the fun stuff. My wife loved her job, but chasing $$$ and working all those hours took a toll on her. We eventually left California and her corporate job for small town North Idaho. She went to work for a family owned theme park and eventually opened her own business. Life was good and she was much happier during that time, but the stress had already eaten her up inside and cancer took her in 2015.

There's a lot more to life than $$$.

I just want to say f*** cancer. f*** that s***