Why is male rape such a controversial topic?

[Ryan]

In reference to this thread that got locked in OT: http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.aspx?catid=38&threadid=1667305

I was trying to find an article I read by Fred Pelka, a straight guy who got raped by another man, to post in that thread, but I couldn't It was basically about how he got raped at gunpoint, and the disparity between how men are treated when they report a rape. The cops degraded him, called him a pussy, and woman, and made the insinuation that he was gay.

For women - the notion of the possibility of getting raped is never far from their mind, they constantly think about their safety (as any woman this - not a day goes by when they don't think about the possibilities). So in that way - if a woman is raped, it's a confirmation of her reality. "To be a woman is to be rapable" in our culture, that was a point of Pelka's essay.

For a man - part of the priviledge he/they are afforded is that they never have to worry about their safety. From that perspective - rape is a tear in the fabric of a man's reality. Is this why so many people have issue with talking about male rape?

 

[bdude]

Yes.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

Insecurity and lack of understanding.
I honestly don't think any woman could rape me, but you put me at gunpoint and I promise my tune will change.
Women may be considered the weaker sex, but you give one a gun, and there is no female/male anymore. There is a captor and a captive.

 

[aidanjm]

Apparently during Biblical times, raping another male was the ultimate way of degrading and humilating him. This was because it was thought that raping a man is forcing him into the 'submissive' or 'female' role. And becuase the culture in those days was so sexist, the worst thing you could do to a man is treat him 'like' a woman. Women were considered worthless. For example, in the biblical story of Sodom, when the men of the town come to Lot's door and demand to rape his two male guests, he offers them his two daughters instead. The lives of his own daughters were less valuable than the lives of two complete strangers (who were male).

 

[Strk]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Insecurity and lack of understanding.
I honestly don't think any woman could rape me, but you put me at gunpoint and I promise my tune will change.
Women may be considered the weaker sex, but you give one a gun, and there is no female/male anymore. There is a captor and a captive.

You forgot about being drugged. Men can get stuff put in their drinks too. It's not that it isn't possible, it's just less likely.

 

[Moonbeam]

Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

 

[Tab]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Hey, fvck you.

 

[Moonbeam]

Originally posted by: Tab

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Hey, fvck you.

Yup, that was the offer I expected.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

wouldn't someone as spiritually advanced as yourself be in touch with your "inner gay man", Moonbeam? Or maybe your inner woman?

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: aidanjm
Apparently during Biblical times, raping another male was the ultimate way of degrading and humilating him. This was because it was thought that raping a man is forcing him into the 'submissive' or 'female' role. And becuase the culture in those days was so sexist, the worst thing you could do to a man is treat him 'like' a woman. Women were considered worthless. For example, in the biblical story of Sodom, when the men of the town come to Lot's door and demand to rape his two male guests, he offers them his two daughters instead. The lives of his own daughters were less valuable than the lives of two complete strangers (who were male).

Weren't the strangers angels or something?

 

[tommywishbone]

Mmmmm, sodomy.

 

[2cpuminimum]

FYI, in the majority of rapes, the victim is male. The majority of rape victims are female. This is because the majority of rapes occur in prison.

 

[Strk]

Originally posted by: 2cpuminimum
FYI, in the majority of rapes, the victim is male. The majority of rape victims are female. This is because the majority of rapes occur in prison.

Prove it.

 

[Moonbeam]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

wouldn't someone as spiritually advanced as yourself be in touch with your "inner gay man", Moonbeam? Or maybe your inner woman?

While I would argue with the spiritually advanced part, I do agree that I am, or hope I am in touch with my inner woman or inner gay. I hope that by saying I am not gay that implies a prejudice to those who are. I also think the rape thing isn't about sex but about violence. The two seem to be interconnected, somehow, in the brain. I am not also any different than the person who says FU unconscious of the subject. I say it on occasion so I guess I'm also a repressed Gay. But when I look at myself I seen nothing I normally associate with gay. I can find no sexual feelings for men at all. I don't care if I did, but I don't see them there. To be in touch with the my feminine side, in my opinion, means to be in touch with feeling. I might be more in touch then many men but it's not a belief I want to put my ego into. Self deception is the name of the human game, in my opinion. Is there something behind your question that I have not touched on here?

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: 2cpuminimum
FYI, in the majority of rapes, the victim is male. The majority of rape victims are female. This is because the majority of rapes occur in prison.

Where did you hear this? If you do studies on rape, rape culture, etc - you'll come to find that almost half of all women will be forced to have sex without consent in their lives (IE - RAPED).

 

[ViRGE]

Originally posted by: 2cpuminimum
FYI, in the majority of rapes, the victim is male. The majority of rape victims are female. This is because the majority of rapes occur in prison.

Which is not right, IMHO.

 

[Moonbeam]

Originally posted by: ViRGE

Originally posted by: 2cpuminimum
FYI, in the majority of rapes, the victim is male. The majority of rape victims are female. This is because the majority of rapes occur in prison.

Which is not right, IMHO.

A violation of human rights to lock up prisoners together? I wonder if the Supreme Court would here the case of a prisoner raped in prison who wished to sue the prison system.

 

[eilute]

I don't see much reason to distinguih between male rape victims and female rape victims. Either way rape is rape. I can't imagine why any cop would ridicule a male rape victim.

Men are not free from all danger, it's just that rape is something they rarely have reason to fear. I can say though that I have met certain people that I would not want to have serving me drinks. Now I don't if this justified, but I am also uncomfortable walking down dark alley ways near "the" gay section by myself at night.

 

[eilute]

Where did you hear this? If you do studies on rape, rape culture, etc - you'll come to find that almost half of all women will be forced to have sex without consent in their lives (IE - RAPED).

I thought it was one in eight.

 

[digiram]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Whoa!!!!, I will never ever say "Fvck You" to another male again.

 

[shira]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Come on, Moonie. You're bright enough to know that "fvck you" when uttered in the context you're using is not a literal statement of sexual intent. It's an expletive expressing annoyance, anger, lack of respect, and pretty much every other negative thought.

When I was 11, the girl who sat behind me in geography class was teasing me. I got irritated and said, "Fvck you!". Quick as a flash, she responded, "Ya wanna?" (and she was actually pretty cute). I was totally discombobulated. The point is, I intended my "fvck you!" as meaning "You're being an utter jerk and are really irritating me! STOP!" If I'd meant it as a statement of sexual intent, her response obviously wouldn't have thrown me off guard (and I might have ceased being a virgin at a MUCH earlier age than I actually did).

 

[Moonbeam]

Originally posted by: shira

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Come on, Moonie. You're bright enough to know that "fvck you" when uttered in the context you're using is not a literal statement of sexual intent. It's an expletive expressing annoyance, anger, lack of respect, and pretty much every other negative thought.

When I was 11, the girl who sat behind me in geography class was teasing me. I got irritated and said, "Fvck you!". Quick as a flash, she responded, "Ya wanna?" (and she was actually pretty cute). I was totally discombobulated. The point is, I intended my "fvck you!" as meaning "You're being an utter jerk and are really irritating me! STOP!" If I'd meant it as a statement of sexual intent, her response obviously wouldn't have thrown me off guard (and I might have ceased being a virgin at a MUCH earlier age than I actually did).

Careful there with the assumptions. It could be that I'm even bright enough to see well beyond where you do with my oh so powerful light. You need to take a good look at language and how the unconscious speaks through it. First however, you will have to become sufficiently self aware to have something to take note of. The thing about bright is that it illuminates dark, and the thing that caused your discombobulation was that you were confronted with a truth you were unaware of. Otherwise you would just have gone 'Huh?' like if she had said 'there's an O in my noodle soup'.

Here's one you can try on: "Just my luck!"

 

[shira]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam

Originally posted by: shira

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Ever said, "F@ck You", to a guy? Ever thought about what the understood subject of that sentence is? For those to whom grammar is a foreign language, the sentence really reads, I f@ck you. Nice huh. Your a repressed Gay. Who'd a thunk!

Oh, and thanks for the offer, but I'm not Gay.

Come on, Moonie. You're bright enough to know that "fvck you" when uttered in the context you're using is not a literal statement of sexual intent. It's an expletive expressing annoyance, anger, lack of respect, and pretty much every other negative thought.

When I was 11, the girl who sat behind me in geography class was teasing me. I got irritated and said, "Fvck you!". Quick as a flash, she responded, "Ya wanna?" (and she was actually pretty cute). I was totally discombobulated. The point is, I intended my "fvck you!" as meaning "You're being an utter jerk and are really irritating me! STOP!" If I'd meant it as a statement of sexual intent, her response obviously wouldn't have thrown me off guard (and I might have ceased being a virgin at a MUCH earlier age than I actually did).

Careful there with the assumptions. It could be that I'm even bright enough to see well beyond where you do with my oh so powerful light. You need to take a good look at language and how the unconscious speaks through it. First however, you will have to become sufficiently self aware to have something to take note of. The thing about bright is that it illuminates dark, and the thing that caused your discombobulation was that you were confronted with a truth you were unaware of. Otherwise you would just have gone 'Huh?' like if she had said 'there's an O in my noodle soup'.

Here's one you can try on: "Just my luck!"

The subconcious definitely CAN play a role in what we say. But "can" doesn't mean "does" in every situation. There's also a thing called vernacular language.

Dictionary.com has this entry for "fvck you": A curse meaning "go to hell." And "go to hell" is in turn defined as "Go to everlasting torment, ruin, or perdition. . . . "

Wikipedia offers this in defining the usage of "fvck": "Other uses are dysphemistic: The sexual connotation, usually connected to masturbation (in the case of "fvck yourself"), is invoked to incite additional disgust, but has nothing to do with the matter of discussion. For example, "Fvck that!" or "Fvck no!"

When I utter, "Fvcking idiot!" under my breath when some impatient jerk tailgates me in order to arrive at his/her critical destination that all-important .12 seconds earlier, I'm REALLY not speaking sexually. "Fvcking" in that context is a way of intensifying the feeling of my utterance (because "What an incredible idiot!" just doesn't provide the emotional satisfaction of using "fvcking"). Similarly, when I utter "SH!T!" under my breath after realizing I have to turn around and go home because I've forgotten something important there, I'm REALLY not thinking about feces or visiting the bathroom. I'm intensifying the expression of my disappointment.

I was discombobulated by that cute girl NOT because I WAS thinking of sex when I made my little remark, but because I WASN'T thinking of sex, and that girl's raising the subject was completely unexpected - so beyond anything I'd experienced to that point in my young life that I was completely unprepared and didn't know how to respond. "Huh" would have been appropriate to express something like, "I don't understand what you're saying." I ABSOLUTELY understood what she was saying (and was titillated by it), but my circuits were frozen by what was my first exposure to sex-talk with an actual, desirable female. (By the way, my lame reaction to her offer - whether she was sincere or otherwise - was a cause of painful regret in my ensuing, unwilling-virgin years.)

 

[Moonbeam]

"by that cute girl "

"an actual, desirable female."

But you weren't thinking of sex and I was never 11. The understanding I offered you won't find in a dictionary. And what, by the way is the understood noun of the sentence, F@ck you.

Hey, does anybody but me know? Maybe I can check.

 

[shira]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
"by that cute girl "

"an actual, desirable female."

But you weren't thinking of sex and I was never 11. The understanding I offered you won't find in a dictionary. And what, by the way is the understood noun of the sentence, F@ck you.

Hey, does anybody but me know? Maybe I can check.

Actually, I think implied subject is "you", not "I". The phrase is short for, "Go fvck yourself!"