Why Why Why

[tyler811]

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

 

[SSSnail]

Because, you touch yourself at night?

Sorry, I had let that one out.

 

[Syrch]

AHA got me a RL LOL

 

[imported_Trippin315]

Because I already sat down and I do not want to go to the freezer for more batteries.

 

[lobbyone]

Such is life man...

 

[minendo]

Why do dumbasses think the rest of AT wants to read their spam?

 

[Leros]

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

 

[GeneValgene]

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

LOL....guilty as charged haha

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

i know it's strange...but for some reason this works for me

 

[LS20]

Originally posted by: tyler811
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
because of frustration of pressing it multiple times to get a command through; its not intentional
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? because you'll still be liable for it

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because they can verify the latter easily

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
a coat of glue lines the bottle and thus glue does not stick to itself
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
standard health practice
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
genetics
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? never happened

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
dont want to be hurt BEFORE the objective
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
many people - check roots
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
they didnt

 

[letdown427]

Originally posted by: tyler811
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Subconciously we're thinking, if i put more energy in, I'll get more out
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
There's infinite YOU OWE US money they can play with
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Hmm, checking paint isn't hard. I'm not going to count 4billion stars, so yeh, whatever you say
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Little air in the tube. If you leave the top off, it'll stick as the water in it evaporates. I reckon.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why break a habit? Also, do they? Really? Also, they probably don't have many unsterile needles lying around...
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Fictional character...
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
I haven't seen him do that
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case they crash somewhere other than their target, so they can live to attack again
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Someone awesome and cruel
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
People evolved a bit from apes and moved away from the apes. The apes didn't bother
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Same stuff in it that makes the bubbles.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
No. Clearly.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
They had parents when they were younger
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
It normally does get vacuumed successfully that third time
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
You fail at life and/or have greasy fingers.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Through gaps small enough to fit through. And that isn't a WHY question
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
We are polite, and what would saying OW YOU BASTARD solve?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Because you aren't focusing on everything else on the table, so you're more likely to hit it.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Because it's cold out now.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because women aren't funny.
And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
That's not how stats work.

IMHO.

 

[imported_Trippin315]

Originally posted by: LS20

Originally posted by: tyler811
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
because of frustration of pressing it multiple times to get a command through; its not intentional
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? because you'll still be liable for it

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because they can verify the latter easily

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
a coat of glue lines the bottle and thus glue does not stick to itself
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
standard health practice
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
genetics
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? never happened

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
dont want to be hurt BEFORE the objective
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
many people - check roots
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
they didnt

You take pride in taking a leak is someone else's froot loops, dont you?

 

[letdown427]

Originally posted by: Trippin315
You take pride in taking a leak is someone else's froot loops, dont you?

Not as much as I do.

 

[j00fek]

:roll:

 

[homercles337]

Originally posted by: tyler811

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

We didnt evolve from apes, we have a common ancestor.

You fail at posting mass email.

 

[dainthomas]

If I wanted to read this crap, I'd check my hotmail account.

 

[rh71]

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

I witnessed an elderly gentleman get extremely pissed at the middle-aged woman who hit him. He continued for at least 5 minutes right in front of the cash registers where everyone can see... as I was strolling by I heard him say "why do you have to follow so close?". I don't know if she's been hounding him or what but the woman kept apologizing but of course he wouldn't accept and just gave her the most evil look.

 

[DefDC]

Originally posted by: dainthomas
If I wanted to read this crap, I'd check my hotmail account.

LOL how true.

Still kinda funny tho...

And apparently the young'uns here never watched the old black and white Superman. He ducked at a thrown gun EVERY EPISODE!

 

[tranceport]

Originally posted by: minendo
Why do dumbasses think the rest of AT wants to read their spam?

Hush,

We endured your spam 30,000+ times. Let him have his fun.

 

[tranceport]

Originally posted by: rh71

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

I witnessed an elderly gentleman get extremely pissed at the middle-aged woman who hit him. He continued for at least 5 minutes right in front of the cash registers where everyone can see... as I was strolling by I heard him say "why do you have to follow so close?". I don't know if she's been hounding him or what but the woman kept apologizing but of course he wouldn't accept and just gave her the most evil look.

Thats kinda funny. I was just thinking that the next time something like this happened that I would give someone a little hell for it.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: tyler811
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Because pressing on the button harder lowers the contact resistance betwen the conductive pads.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
To keep you from doing that
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because they can't count to 4 billion.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Because it's not able to dry and/or cure in a saturated environment
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Hippocratic oath
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Got torn off in a vine
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Because getting hit by a revolver just makes you look stupid
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
To look cool
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
England
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Because they evolved from apes.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Because of water.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
February 30th
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Peer to Peer Pudding Transfer Protocol
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Because the vaccuum cleaner should pick it up
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Because you're trying on the wrong end
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They used to be alive.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Because you only need one asshole at a time
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Combo bonus multiplier
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Because it's not hot everywhere
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because they have guns
And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
3 of my friends have mental disorders, so does that make being normal strange?

 

[Jeff7]

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
- Perhaps because the rubberized carbon coating isn't an excellent insulator. Pressing harder might get more of the coating pressed against the contacts, allowing for a better connection.

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
- Collection agencies can remedy that.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Because people tend to forget signs - a "Wet Paint" sign may remain for days or weeks after the painting was done. For the most part, the stars aren't going anywhere, and whether there are 4 or 5 million stars within a few thousand light years won't really affect me much.
Not to mention, there are way way way more than four billion stars. There are way more than four billion galaxies. There may be more than 125 billion galaxies in the Universe.

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
- It's probably polyethylene or polycarbonate - damn near nothing sticks to them.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Do they?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- He's not a damn hippie.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Because you throw a revolver at his face, not his chest. Haven't you ever heard the expression, "NOT IN THE FACE!!!!"?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- If they should die before impact, well, that's a problem.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
- Someone with a sense of humor.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
- We didn't. Ape-like ancestors. There was a niche for us, and there remained a niche for them.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
- My guess is that the dye isn't able to remain on the soap film, and so probably filters down to the bathwater, where it is too diluted to produce a visible color.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
- Definitely not this SUNDAY!!!"

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
- Mold may spontaneously begin growing on various things, and people do eat fungus.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
- Picking it up may free it from the carpeting it's likely snagged on.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
- They do for me?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
- Poor manufacturing, so they're not really enclosed.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
- Because saying, "That hurt, you stupid idiot" still won't remedy the problem. The person at least apologized.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
- Rapid reaction requires full focus, so you can't look for possible obstructions in the meantime. Or you're not careful enough.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
- Seasonal affective disorder? In winter your body might be trying to tell you, "shorter days and you're not hibernating, WTF?"

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
- Father in laws rule.

And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
- I know it's me.



There. This e-mail can now die, the questions all have reasonable answers.

 

[BillyBatson]

this is oldddddddd